Sunday, May 24, 2009


The other day while playing tennis we took a break and for some reason we started telling war stories about our most embarrassing drunk moments. It was a lot of barfing and other distasteful bodily fluid loss in public or sort of public places. What was the most endearing thing for me was how generous everyone was and how unembarrassed we all were. It is natural to make mistakes, it is normal to over do it. I was and am so proud I know women who are so relaxed and comfortable about being imperfect. There was something else, it made me love each of them in deeper way. Okay , I am not encouraging people to over do it. I just think we need some times to be let off the hook. We get so driven to perfection that it prevents inner forgiveness of ourselves. I know for me I don’t trust someone who has never lost control. I am suspect of the person who keeps it all together 100% of the time. Where is the courage to “die” metaphorically, because whether it is with a substance like booze or hallucinogenics, illness or a temporary loss of sanity we all need to hike in the dark mountains of unknowing in order to find order, If you ask me. You are saying, why? Or disagreeing? Seriously if you keep everything together how will you know to trust life or God or what have you? Because when it all hits the fan and stuff happens, fans get hit…we need to know we can fly, or land or make it and or still be respectable.
Try it…tell someone or two, just make sure it is people you like in an appropriate place something you may have thought too embarrassing to share and share it. It’s amazing but it will not kill you and shock of ages, they too will probably come clean about something just as embarrassing and guess what? We get to discover everyone has moments. I am not saying blurt a spew story to your boss over the copy machine , not good.
No, I mean in a circle of chatter when everyone isn’t itching to be some where else and it’s just organic to share.
Being human is liberating and being imperfect Divine.


Melissa said...

oooh i just found your blog
excellent!Glad you dont allow anonymous comments.

If its worth saying its worth
owning it.

love youxo

mario said...

well said...i can relate...i'm always surprised how obvious the lesson is but at the time wonder whats the point o this...can be very suttle in the way life hands u lessons, upon reflection it was exactly what u needed...

BC boy said...

Nice title!! LoL. Reminds me of a few "whoops, what did I do to myself, ick this gonna suck" moments.

I have seen those who say they never fall. They are lying or compensating some other way without realizing they are using a different outlet.

One of my best puke stories came from a friend who chucked in a parking lot just before a hockey game we were to play and the crows fought over the chunks. I still cannnot control the laughter after 10 or more years.

I think sharing stories helps us all come clean and reassures the listener they are normal and can relate their experiences without shame or embarressment.

Sometimes we get too close to the edge and fall off anyway.

Hopefully the landing is only "bruises|.

Tony Bunn said...

.... but then, at some point, after forgiving oneself time after time, one will get to a point where the laughter about foibles is also accompanied by the recognition that imperfection needn't be the place where one wants to dwell forever.

There's a lot to be said for discipline. There's much to be said for repeated attempts at attaining one's ideal; getting ever closer with each go-round.

Strangely enough, I've found that discipline is so much more rewarding and fun when one has f@*ked-up to the degree sufficient to learn that f@*king-up is painful ;o) Yikes!!!!.

Having hugged my share of toilets, and worse, I've come to appreciate wellness... not so boring, in the long run.

glt said...

Tony, I agree that ascending the throne is better.

BCboy, yes, the essence of sharing normal without shame! to paraphrase.

Rd, nice friends.

Rae Dawn Chong said...

I am traveling and it has been great but difficult to respond.
I am reading everybody and I love the comments thanks.