Walking in the woods this frigid morning I felt wretched. I was so sad and disillusioned and then try as I might felt not worse but I started to feel better. The words I know that can melt my resistance and heal my broken heart were there but it wasn't that. It was this interesting weird vision of a man in a wheelchair from Ireland who died recently who wrote books and who moved his nation and the world by his humanity. He was completely alive. Nothing stopped him from contributing. In the face of that how can anything get to me really?
So my beloved dog nudged me at the exact right moment/time to get up and out and off we went across the frigid fields into the woods. What started as a tear fest ended in minty clarity. I can and will and do what ever I need to. My job is to allow and listen and learn and keep going.
Then my BF who I must say touches my soul daily by his kindness said more encouraging words that I cannot imagine anything more sweet and supportive.
Grace...all of it grace.
Whose job is it to love me?
Whose job is it to understand what I am, what I can do, what I have to offer ...mine.
The rest is none of my business.