Thursday, October 28, 2010


I am rumored to be appearing on Oprah Nov. 5th.

The Color purple reunion show.

1# no ticket yet has until I see THAT I am not really believing I will be going anywhere.
2#. last time I flew to Chicago to appear on her show she never called me onto the stage. So I flew there for what? thing. She did have a lovely chat with Arnold.
3# I am afraid it will be cheesy...please forgive all of us if it is.

How does one say no to the O?

Scary really.

Saturday, October 23, 2010


Things are sinister in the world of politics right now with the Chamber of Commerce trying to buy the elections by lying to the out of work marginalized American population who have fallen back to the old racist line of thinking that they(the whackadoo extreme right) will carry them to the promise land all the while making sure that outsourcing is alive and well. Whilst the very people being vilified are quietly doing their jobs actually understanding what the Constitution says and actually capable of reading it as well as every other necessary important documents needed to competently run this country. The false saviors of the far right who are on a mission to hoist the whole kit and caboodle into the dark ages because they think it will be better. The same yahoos who are telling Latino’s not to vote? It baffles the mind that we will allow this to happen. I am alert and prepared for what may be the most fascinating cultural scrimmage in American history. There really are many people who are on a jag to thrust this country back to the days of Jim Crow…well almost. Or back alley abortions or worse; ethnic cleansing? To think Ed Miller is allegedly supported by white supremacist groups, or that in fact a few more political wannabes are secret or not so secret racists makes me sad and concerned for everyone and that this thinking is gaining popularity, I am baffled by the sheer lack of intelligence. I am hoping the quiet smart majority will come out on the 2nd of November to show that in fact they are watching and listening closely and what they hear is disturbing and not going to be tolerated.
Tolerance is the key word. This is a tolerant country at its best and I pray literally that we can maintain our sanity in the years to come and that these strange corporate financed buffoons go away. We deserve better and yet we do get what we deserve. If we don’t show up at the voting booths we get the likes of what we had in the last administration. This was disgraceful and dangerous to our national security; give the man a chance in Washington to continue the good fight.
... and please don't forget to VOTE!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Chico and Sara Kruzan

Okay nothing is more disturbing to most people than the capacity to forgive a monster. The movie "Family Affair" is about just that. Most of us confuse forgiveness as letting monsters get away with say, rape, murder or worse soul murder as in perpetrating abuse on the defenseless. These beastly people still deserve forgiveness not forgetting-ness, but forgiveness is a big difference. Watching Chico Colvard’s film “family affair” about his family and the monster they lived with his father was enlightening. In the movie we slowly learn what his crimes are and how they impacted his children, Chico being the only son with three sisters. We learn that Chico never experienced any sexual abuse but certainly he lived through the hellish verbal physical abuse disguised as discipline. In the movie we watch his beautiful sisters emerge out of hell and carve a life for themselves that weirdly but most definitely includes “him” the father. It is disturbing and sad and frustrating and amazing because if we are honest we must forgive. What gives me the creeps is how unknowledgeable the justice system is I am speaking about the courts to major psychological abuse and it’s infinite manifestations. I was reading about a young child who was seduced at 11 and thrust into prostitution who at 16 murders the pimp, the original guy who turned her out as a child. She murders him and because of the physical clues at the scene of the actual murder it could be interpreted as premeditated which carries life in prison which by the way she got. Nothing is mentioned of the Stockholm syndrome the years of abuse she suffered as his slave, his sex slave. No just the immediate facts of the crime. There is something so wrong about this. This person Sara Kruzan never had a chance, in fact it is more abuse. It hurts my heart to know she is in prison forever because of our (societal) disconnect the law versus the laws of psychology. We are inhumane in the way we incarcerate people especially children. I am glad she murdered her pimp after so much harm that came her way. I am glad the family of Chico can forgive the selfish mess of a father because he is at the end of the day their dad. The girls in Chico’s film have every reason to murder this man and yet they did not and will not and in fact have allowed themselves to be in relationship with him. On the other hand my heart bleeds for the child now a woman in prison forever because I think her victim deserved the bullet. I think he deserved more than that. I would love to see justice done for her and for all of us children who will do anything to be loved.

New Hampshire film festival

We just finished our local Film festival. I saw amazing things but my favorites would have to be the documentaries. First I was bamboozled into sitting through "Family Affair" by Chico Colvert. Which was a sensitive stunning portrait of his highly disfunctional family. Word has it Oprah has bought the rights to show it first on her network if you get a chance please sit and view it. It absolutely floored me he has done a great thing.
Then my next favorite was "U.N. Me" about the horrid corruption of the U.N. It will enrage you and make you pay attention like this radical Teaparty candidates sideshow we are in at the moment.
Are you all paying attention? Watch the Ed Show on MSNBC or just watch that channel. It is heating up and these folks are bad so rotten and of course....Gawd help us dumber than dumb.

Finally I have to nothing but big respect for the film makers who risk everything to educate us the Documentary maker.

Thank you all you Documentary film makers we need you.

Sunday, October 17, 2010


Today I woke up in a small crisis. I have to do something that goes against what I believe in. Oh it’s not as if I live in a war torn area and I am reduced to extreme conditions no. It’s something less harmful and maybe weirder, maybe and I feel as if I must do something about my predicament yet I have to be smart and careful. Okay, I don’t want to reveal the details….yet. I will refrain but what is at stake is an opportunity to make the most of this crisis. For every setback there can appear an opportunity or many that in the end may turn a setback into a gift. I hope this is the situation here so I think I can rise up and take care of this “issue”. Suddenly I am aware of my holding myself back and of not being so generous with the things I can share. Also I am surprised at how connected inner prosperity (my thinking) is with my outer picture, my life. I also think we as a rule don’t appreciate where we are. We judge and complain about the stack of responsibilities that are called bills as we spend beyond our means because we lust after more and yet if we were balanced and centered we would see that everything we have is enough. That we really don’t need more we need to use and give away what is moldering in our closets and stacked inside our garages. Poor us…no wonder we are broke. I am getting this thing I think. I am getting the big picture here about true wealth. How it isn’t something to be pursued. It is a byproduct we must discover and offer something that many people can benefit from. Something that helps us to be better we must devote our attentions to things that uplift and entertain and create environments where we as a whole can grow. Than the by product may be financial abundance beyond our imagination. Than we must prepare to share that abundance we must share it. Every billionaire I have met focused on the product or service and the rest (fortune) followed. So those of us stuck in financial ruts can see our way out simply by changing our focus. Saying this is easy but living this fact has already made my life better financially, it had instantly improved not because I don’t care about money but truthfully I don’t care about money. I care about the quality of my experiences. I care about the quality of love in my life. The depth of experience as it happens. It is vital to my existence to be connected with my environment. It is vital to your existence to refocus and appreciate where you are and what you have now. If you happen to have very little then you need to work on changing that by giving more of what little you have and what you can give. If it is time you have a lot of because you are unemployed than give that. There is a reason Angelina Jolie gives what she does to every cause on the planet…she shows up with her time and money because she needs to show up. She benefits personally. Giving raises our vibration. She draws her inner strength, her inner wealth (love) from being a good world citizen. You and I can do this… so let’s get busy.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Faithless love...

Hidden in the deepest corner of my soul is a fear that when I die I will be afraid. I will cringe and fight and writhe in agony…I think not and yet who will know, not me until I get there. Dying is a dirty word although I am obsessed with it. The processes, the lack of ritual, the fear and repulsion and the scary potential of maybe fighting it in an ungraceful way, I know we will never know till it’s time. I heard about a young girl who died last week in a car accident she left a party at 4:00 am was on the phone with her father and moments later hit a tree and was (hopefully) dead instantly. Jammed underneath her dash board the car wedged into a tree. Crazy how fast it can happen. Reading online about a mother who blogged online about her life as a mother. She whose son just died of an overdose who now is experiencing all that we do experience when our children pass as well as the load of guilt and anger from her online community and the love and support as well, a gigantic bunch of feelings, deep, scary big stuff. We all do the best we can. It’s not possible to imagine what these parents or any parents the world over go through when their children predecease them. Recently I found myself having lunch with a friend who is in pain around a failed (his words) relationship, which I think was quite successful and vibrant and may have run its course. Funny how that can and does happen we just are finished. Anyway I felt something about him and I shared it and it resonates for me as well. We lose faith we forget that we have little to do with what is and that the only thing we can control is our response to life. That is all yet we fancy we are capable of controlling life but it’s not true. If it were true our babies would not die before us. So if God is omnipotent, omniscient, supreme and loving then it’s a good thing we are carried (if we allow it) and that it’s perfection. Tough when you are burying your child, I cannot imagine and I pray never to have to have that experience although my son is fragile (two ventricular peritoneal shunts) I could get the call. Nonetheless and in spite of all of that we still have to have faith if we want to have a life that is tender and effortless, and yet it’s a tall order especially when we are wealthy, intelligent and used to getting our way. I am certain life is good and we are blessed and that everything is perfect. I am certain I forget this and I look forward to the daily , moment by moment rediscovery that we are safe in the big and little existential way only don’t tell me this when I am writhing in agony. You might get hurt.

Friday, October 8, 2010

A can of Whup Ass!

It is incredible the stories and over all amnesia that America is suffering from and the basic lies being told regarding the gigantic fiscal mess this country is in and the terrible trap we fell into when we decided to go into war with not one but three nations. It is sad and unfair and evil the way the right and the Christian right have used BIG government as a bad word and no taxes as a good thing to wrest control back again after having thrust this country into a two term nightmare called affectionately “The Bush, Cheney, Rummy, Rice, years” . Imagine a world where the likes of Palin and Glen Beck and the little witch Christy were in charge? It’s frightening in the way that Obama’s white house is for the racially intolerant. Only those peachy slogan addicted yahoo’s don’t understand intelligence and thoughtfulness and prudence and care. We don’t as a whole recognize honest hard work and we are not patient enough to trust the process because we are deaf, dumb and stupid when it comes to government policy and due process and reality. Okay I am cranky and getting worried and concerned about Washington and this country and the directions we could be headed if THEY get power back. They being the Right the deadly silent but wealthy right “Republicans”. Avenue C is a factory of cult like Christian based leaders, financed and groomed right out of bad science fiction. Senators and the like who are financed by very deep pocketed conservatives who happen to be religious and want nothing more than to mega church faith base America, meaning put that style of worship front and center in our culture just like those towel headed fundamentalist , Islamic clerics want only their brand of hoo ha to be practiced the world over. Creationists who would roll back a hundred years of true science just to make the bible stories fact. Gives me the willies all of it! I want our Democratic president to get up and shout and tell is like it is. Stop being so cool…I want them Dems to fight for what is a smart direction (the one we are being guided toward) to face the right-wing nut bullies NOW. I don’t want to lose control of the house. I want the chance to do what we set out to do…I want to see us in the black. Maybe literally… meaning financial surplus for all in the USA only with a swagger, rythmn.