Wednesday, March 31, 2010


Yesterday on channel 101 I watched a special by Vanguard (Lisa Lings company) on the severe pill trafficking problem in Broward county(Florida). They have it set up so essentially people can with flimsy medical paper, an MRI purchase enormous amounts of pharmaceuticals, sometimes called hilly billy heroin; the Oxys and the Zanax bars etc...Stuff that is lethal and highly addictive. Now what is fascinating is three fold. We have a huge pill popping drug problem bigger then any other drugs combined including Methamphetamine. I personally have witnessed the slow creepy walk of the drugged up in Florida by watching both young and old patrons in a cafe walk to their tables. Everyone I watched was on something, I could tell by their gait, the wobbly way they moved. Is everyone down in Florida a drug addict? It's a good way to retire I suppose. Okay maybe not everyone certainly but I bet its incredibly high the statistic. Now the next sad thing I watched on this particular show was deeply disturbing. They had a fellow who had lost his wife and younger brother to over doses. Oh and by the way in Florida the statistic is horribly high something like 11 people a month croak from a lethal combo of these drugs. This chap was committed still to his lifestyle of melting pills in foil and smoking the chemical. AFTER all that he has lost. he did share a very insightful thing he said for him there is no high anymore. It's getting normal. He has to use to feel NORMAL. Now Anna Nicole and MJ and Heath were all using pills with disastrous results . Listening to the mother of this man who care takes him knowing in her heart he will most probably not make it himself was crushing. I wanted to help her some how. I wanted to say something, do something, to give her relief. It is witnessing a slow death for her, watching this man, her son, smoke himself to death. Still with all of this sadness and grief and profit essentially pill abuse is legal in Florida essentially. People from neighboring states are taking full advantage and making money. What is illegal is the sale and distribution after the fact. With the right papers you can buy the pills initially but you can't turn around and sell them again. With all of this we become monsters. The addict has become a monster, he has changed his physical chemistry to now depend on opiates to function. You almost cannot call him human,he is another beast, a monster addicted to chemicals that seem to rob his normal human functions. This face of addiction is scary and I understand the fear of it and the need to control people and places and things from this zombiehood. YET...if we decriminalized and taxed drugs and allowed more research and took the criminal stigma off all of it, would we be in a better position to wrangle our lost loved ones back? In other words prisons don't seem to to deter the addicted and poor. It is a crisis of magnificent proportions. Broward county Florida can't help it, it needed this income obviously, so why not find a loop hole and legally cater to the population who is addicted to these pills? I remember when employment and money, tax money was scarce in Broward county. It may be horrible but the industry of pill pushing has put money back into the local coffers.

It's hypocritical to legalize some drugs and yet stigmatize others. Yet addiction is deeply troubling and powerful and I am wondering if stigmatizing addicts and putting them in prison is helping us understand the beast?

I think not.

I want to help the mother who is watching her children die one by one...I want to ease her sadness and I am not convinced that laws against these behaviors are the answer. They just don't work.

I do believe we need better research and more money to understand and study addiction and to open up the spiritual element the question of longing and the need for bliss relief.

Lets face it when we first take drugs or become "high" it's akin to a spiritual experience and that is the seed, the core thing we chase...continuously.

THAT moment or RUSH.

Making it bad and hiding from it in fear does make it go away it only makes it harder to find or understand.

We all want a slice of Nirvana...that in and of itself is not bad.

It's how we go about getting it "bliss" that is suspect and harmful sometimes.

Monday, March 29, 2010


Everywhere I look I can bump up against my self and my needs and my dreams wishes and desires for everything I want to happen now. I have a friend who has a nursery business, she sells flowers and trees and I can't imagine being impatient about a plant, being in a rush for it to grow? So she has chosen a life style that enforces calm and patience. Growing things demands it. I know for myself my "rush" in my life is so I will not feel my story, my emotional pain or my disappointments. Yet I am very blessed,I never get what I want,when I want it, never.

Which is a sign of good luck. I always get what I need. When I am clever I can align myself to what is best for me and it graciously comes,follows as if on cue. In tennis we get a lot of time to hit a shot. Oh sure in real time it's split seconds but in tennis time when we are focused where we should be focused I notice time expands and things get clear and THE ZONE that magical place becomes and we see the ball and we can hear it tell us what to do, if we are lucky we listen and Voila" a fantastic shot happens. Before we know it,the game is over and we have triumphed. Even if it isn't a win,we win because we were there in every moment of the game. Patience is the key to a gorgeous experience on the court knowing when to do what we do for the best outcome. It follows in our lives as well...Oh it isn't easy to fend off the agony , the insecurities and the other bugaboos that can haunt us. Yet we must if we want to be in the ZONE. I like it when I am there I feel carried and supported and loved. I can feel love which is weird since I don't think love is gamma ray like. No,I think of love as an idea we agree on and co create together. So in truth,love is a solo sport. But I digress, it the P word that I am struggling with and admiring. Having the guts to wait until its time...before the next, time and the, patience.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

I Spy

Growing up I went to school with the Culp kids. They were special because their Dad was famous. I remember thinking we were in a club of sorts. What was also a coincidence is years earlier then secondary school they spent a summer in a place called Deep Cove which is in Canada where we had a house on the water. When Mr. Culp and his kids were there the entire cove was lit up excited. His show was a hit and we looked for them whenever our boat passed their summer home. I think we saw them maybe once getting into a limo. Limos were very special to us then. I was maybe 5 or 6 years old. Then in secondary school I went to a boarding school in Ojai and we kids hooked up there and actually became friends. We spoke of that Deep cove summer but it wasn't that impactful to any of us. They were shy those Culp kids. Then as we aged Joe started acting and Rachel grew up and then life drifted and we never saw each other again. Facebook brought us back together and I am glad. Everyone seems to be alright. It means something to know we are all okay after all that time.
I don't look forward to losing my dad. I know it will crush me and my heart will split open in sadness for everything all at once. I am with them because I think we share a lot of good and not so good things. Having a famous Dad isn't as special or fun as its made out to be. It's a club I think most people shouldn't join. Although who am I to say...not all dads forget their kids or think kids are a burden.

I also think "I spy" broke the race barrier by allowing two men of separate races to be equals even if the pay wasn't.

They need to do another "I spy" make it female and make it cool.

Why not!

Monday, March 22, 2010

The new deal

With pressure on all sides at the moment for everyone I find it fascinating what comes up. Does it make you sad the blatant racism Obama has leveled at him? I get a bit sad about it since its obvious its systemic and anything that entrenched is here to stay. It is delightful that it passed health care yet there is this sense of lack of appreciation across the board. I am not saying we should be smug but doesn't everyone understand something had to give and by the way this isn't the most radical choice anyway? Is it that hard to understand that we are always told half truths on both sides and that THEY don't care about US. Meaning big business? It's not a society based on integrity and all for one and the higher good. It's a dog eat dog world.Its all for capitalism. I would listen to the extreme right pundits if they all would watch the last two Micheal Moore movies. I would...and I think every fundamentalist should read Chris Hitchens book about God. Its important to understand each other. I also think everyone who is bigoted against bigots should take a good look. The world is large enough for both. Yet its still bigotry to be bigoted against bigots...get it?

Finally I am happy Nancy Pelosi and company got something done. I am grateful for the whole shebang.

Looking forward to more advancement in taking care of America and I can almost endure, I say almost the lies and thinly veiled racism if it means no matter what we get stuff done that matters.

We can't win them all (battles) but we can win some of them...and that feels right.

We all should care.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Racism and other touchy things...

Yesterday my mother in law was telling me how offensive and racist "The Blindside" was. I was sort of upset because I very much loved the movie and yet I saw her points. I thought it refreshing and important to show the masses especially the fly over state people that a man of color who may be physically threatening looking is not "always" a bad guy. I know people who don't have friends of color and who still think "we" are dirty filthy untrustworthy people. Although NEVER would they admit to this belief but I know they think it. My very white in law had a very valid point when she said in the movie the people who were black were either harsh losers or violent or dumb. Ahhhhh I said of course. Then it set me off to thinking about how we function and what we do as a species to feel safe in our lives and one thing we do often and we should be embarrassed about this is we dominate. We subconsciously need to be better then everyone in our circle of influence even if we do it in a passive aggressive way little digs comments meant to disturb deconstruct and keep those who may threaten us DOWN.

So then it made me think about race relations and how one group needs to diminish another for exactly this reason to feel safe.

Plus when we are threatened it is because deep down in the most secret hidden places we fear we are less than...

Ohhhh it gets so juicy this stuff.

So now I am sad because I thoroughly enjoyed the movie but I see her points and I see the flaws in the film. I am guilty of sacrificing my own understanding to be taken on a film fantasy ride. I am a romantic film loving fool...

Oh well.

Thursday, March 18, 2010


Somehow impossible things get accomplished. Like producing a show, getting a show on the air right now that seems immensely difficult. Yet, I do believe there has to be a little celestial help in the mix for those taht have succeeded. Because on the ground proof of how its done is dim or non existent. People get canceled, rejected by network even if everything is done right. I hear horror stories of productions that are tip top being trashed, pulled off the air. I wonder for instance why one group of creative people have better luck then another although both products produced are similar and hard to differentiate. Why does one show get on the air when another one that isn't any worse get rejected or suddenly yanked off the schedule after only one showing?

Okay? I do believe part of the equation is the people factor. Certain people illicit or manifest issues or resistance. Others it's the celestial factor or the "Angelic" code something magically ushers everything into the right space and the project and it's creators are guided to success.

Mind you, this isn't saying that only shows that are on a network and supported are a success. I know that failure teaches better then anything and we should embrace them/failures when they come. Failure, is lemonade if we are smart.

I like the concept of celestial support though and I am keen to be drenched in it...


Monday, March 15, 2010


How about the senator from Wisconsin making waves by stating the obvious in his report that Medicare will be bankrupt in 7 years at the current rate. How about the Republicans wanting to lower taxes as a way to raise revenue still? How about big Insurance claiming that the USA will be a socialist state if government regulates our health care. Lets face it this is the USA and no one tells a wealthy American what to do, no one. So if there is a procedure needed that the new health policies don't cover they will get what is needed. It's obvious that we don't understand the new proposals and we are loath to inquire and find out what is being presented. Personally I want the exact medical coverage that the government gives it's politicians for every American; simple. I want regulations to rein in the financial world and the banks and the big insurance. I want a ban on corporations financing lobbyists and politicians. I want we the people to mean something. I am not a socialist. I am not against profit. I do feel we are in a grievous place as far as how we manage our legal system and due process,and the current state of Government. I am concerned we have lost the thread, dropped the ball for profit at the expense of the many. We are a great country and could be true world leaders when it came to alternative solutions. We have so much potential and I do believe we should beat the Chinese as far as green house gas emissions. We should at least be as green as the near future in China...for Gods sake?

Who wants to stay in the red?

Not me...I want the new America with humane care for all it's citizens and smart government not emotional lazy fear mongering.

Come on people this is for YOU.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Grey Goose

This morning I took my grey head and dyed it dark brown again. I watched a taped audition I had to produce and it was exhausting just looking at my grey hair I looked tired. So I gave up trying to go all grey and dyed my mane again. I feel mixed about it but as I age I don't want to look older then I need to. I have been working a bit of a flu virus and feeling slightly off and well...its rough to feel rough with really grey roots. So I sit here and I look in the mirror and I look younger with a grey less head of hair. I do judge people who get the shots of botox and who get face lifts and I judge them as pathetic and lame and shallow but recently I have been photographed and I look old (in my book) and I am not happy about it. Not sure I will take a knife to my face ....but I might nip down to Brazil and visit the doctor. They have the best doctors for sure there. They invented plastic surgery not L.A. and they have taste they do just enough. So I am weak...I don't want to be grey yet...that's enough.

Chubby my friend who is a hairdresser will be happy and as I look in the mirror so will I.

I will have plenty of time to be grey so why rush it!

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Jim Crowed

My father sent me an article about the extra sad dimension of drug laws and how the target drug audience is in the majority African American men and Women and how systematically we have an 80% prison attendance in the African American community because of social and economic disadvantages that then lead to drug affiliations of all stripes which then lead to incarceration because the law supports criminalization of drugs. This isn't theory or conspiracy theory this is facts on the ground right now. I support the decriminalization of all drugs for community reasons (taxes,regulations etc...)although I don't support promoting their use but I do see the argument that prescription drugs which are readily available are as harmful or more harmful because they are protected by law and society and in turn are not considered low or shaggy or sleazy and bad and yet our streets are treacherous (drugged elderly drivers) our schools as dangerous ;teens taking family pharmaceuticals in school and shooting up the student body with guns obtained by "dad". So in short America is indeed in the middle of a big disconnect when it regards drugs and what is safe and harmless and what is low life and marginal. Imagine if we decriminalized drugs, regulated them, taxed them and made it better to partake in safe environments etc...there would be an instant emptying out of our prisons and the people who work and make a living selling drugs become legit and so many fringe dwelling "drug dealers" become the future Bronfman family "Seagrams" who lets be honest began as illegal bootleggers. My Father feels as does the head of Normal publication that the motive for criminalizing drugs is racial at the end of the day. The concept is sinister and takes my breath away. Couple that with prison for profit. The business of incarcerating people and lets face it; people who happen to make up 80% or more of the prison population who also happen to be ethnic. There is something to this...I just think that whilst we struggle to change our society that the African American community gets smart and follow the laws and stay out of trouble. We can stop the violence and this abuse but not doing illegal drugs.
I want us in the African American community to be crusaders to change our society and help evolve it to a more mature smart and forward place. Holland doesn't have a perfect system but they have had decent drug laws and the testing or studies are out; it doesn't promote or encourage more drug use. No, in fact it takes the extra "rebel charge" off them thereby making/ inspiring people who are not that into them choose healthier alternatives like a "sport".

I want us in America to be the smartest, most compassionate place; to regain and become a good character valuing place. A place where we are real leaders globally and not bullies. Where we rethink our entire system by improving/changing everything from, energy policies to policies that work and are real,changing how we finance politicians running for office; simplify and correct campaign financing take the corporations out of the mix,decriminalization of drug laws and to giving everyone in America Dick Cheney-esk quality health care for a minimal fee. Because these issues are vital to our survival. Finally religion; keeping it in its place and out of our courts and military and our foreign policy.

Friday, March 12, 2010


Recently there was a movie about the invention of lying. It was a flawed piece but it touched on something very important. What if we were honest. What if we didn't pad the truth...if we exposed ourselves to the facts. We know when we do stuff that is sub par or shaggy (I do) and still I will let it go...telling myself a lie to cover up my lazy ness. UGH then wonder why I will wash up to the shore of my life exhausted and spiritually spent and sad. Life doesn't like it when we BS ourselves. What if we trusted being authentic instead of always being "on" and "together and perfect" (in our minds ) if we could limp to the start gate and say "ouch" life is hurting me. I have lost the grip...I wanna let go and not feel bad about it? Some days are like that ...this week was low for me for various reasons I just feel dumpy.
I may be dumpy but is it okay? Can I be a lump of sad?

Not sure we are I write this I feel better,less sad.

Go figure.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Minority Report

At the risk of sounding whiny and frustrated and bitter I find it fascinating that women in power positions in Hollywood or even ethnic men and women in powerful positions in Hollywood have a tendency to act in their roles more as a job preserver (theirs)then say a renegade change the system hire more like them crusader. Immediately upon being hired across the board through out history they maintain the status quo and in some cases recently are worse at being like one of the "guys". I get it since it is a dog eat dog society Hollywood and decisions are made for the bottom line and females executives and ethnic executives don't want to make mistakes feeling already vulnerable and they don't want to seem weak. Yet ironically it's weak to just maintain or just preserve their personal other words it serves Hollywood in the LONG run to be innovative not safe and yet it's always safe and less innovative. It is supposed to be the land of dreams and make believe and yet not so much lately. I hail the whole media world for celebrating a fine film like Hurt Locker and I respect Kathryn Bigelows composure her unwillingness to accept the media bait. She isn't the spokesperson for feminism and guess what? Why should she be? No, there is hardly an upside to being poster feminist uber director. You are used and abused and you come off angry and everyone who uses you discards you and after your heat wears off joins the ranks in calling you bitter. I say smart cookie KB keep your yap shut and work. Head down churn out remarkable lovely good movies we need them please...make fabulous content and let that speak for itself.

Its a trap being the spokes person for anything especially racial or sexual or what have you. I say curses to the men and women in Hollywood that sit on their hands and do nothing to change a dying system. I say you deserve the boot a big fat boot and you are getting it....the juice that was, the muse that is everything creative has flown the proverbial coop. The product coming out of the old Hollywood system is soulless, expensive and lame. Everything has changed and the Internet has ushered it in beautifully.

Personally I am happy that the distribution void the sleazy dark whole that was expenses has been lit up and transformed. It is no longer easy for the big studios to get away with padding budgets and keeping creatives profit away from them.

Okay,I jump ahead it is starting to transform.

Evolution...thank goodness for it.

We all benefit in the long run even as we fight it happening. Now if only we could
change the law and make it illegal to alter a screen or playwrights work in France I am all for writers having more power.

Finally more racial diversity in Hollywood!

... why not?

Wednesday, March 10, 2010


Okay I woke up with a clear picture of prosperity. So let me share it. When we relax and accept with complete love and happiness our exact place in our "Now" there is no story or most importantly "resistance" so the universe sends everything we need at once. Literally everything we look forward to and want and need tumbles forth into our experience. The deal is most of us are addicted to "the story" we have constructed about ourselves and we will die proving our story correct at our expense, the expense of prosperity health and happiness. In other words most of us have it all ass backward and our story, our small brained concepts of our personal realities are incorrect.Making us right and still without any of our dreams and wishes realized. Would you rather be right or happy? Would you rather be correct and smug or abundant in every way? Not to harp on what I think is pretty simple but for some egoic reason hard to do....if we just hone everything down to the simplest equation and look no further then "here now" in this moment we are happy little campers. even if we are in a hospital bed working a disease "story" or what have you; or you are in a jail cell. Distill the moment to pinpoint precision and guess what? Yes, it's not so bad. Most of us are not in dire straits, most of us have a roof over our heads, food in our belly and our health. So it really should not be hard to be happy in the moment , now. Because this is the key...the release of happy hormones and it's corresponding vibration feeds the planetary story it gives back. The up lifted vibration spreads. So as a loving payment good things tumble literally into our lives.

So this is my reminder to myself and YOU; be in the moment and appreciate it without any ulterior motive.

Enjoy your day.

Saturday, March 6, 2010


Recently there was a sweet child voted off the horrid show American Idol. I call it the leader in pain television because for every triumph it showcases there is a bunch of agony as they torture the contestants and audience by making them sing one last time. It's creepy television at its best. My BF loves this show as much as I dislike everything about it. Oh sure I will listen when someone is good but mostly I ignore it. Except the child named Haeley. I felt so sad for her I could see watching her sing and speak racial confusion (she doesn't know her ethnicity) and maybe age confusion she acts like a 9 year old. There is so much going so wrong about her. It made me remember my own racial confusion and how growing up in Canada the great WHITE north didn't help my racial understanding or anchoring. So I watched her try to be Miley Cyrus and it was oh so wrong. My BF thought she was awful and I thought she was lost. What do you say to a little girl who doesn't want to be anything but a white Disney movie star? How do you tell her she is the exact opposite and that it is enough? How do you tell her she will find her way in an unfriendly landscape if she maintains a balanced accepting sense of herself? That all of the racial inequity will one day be better for her she will maybe live long enough to see equal pay? How do you encourage children like this not to ditch herself? It's baffling? I am in pain for her and I doubt Disney will pick up the phone. They don't want a black child trying to be a white child and if they did they have a boat load of them still waiting to be called. No television wants a black child to be ghetto and specific and deep street. They don't want beige or blurry socially integrated intelligence. That is threatening to the status quo. If missy spoke with a southern almost pigeon English then maybe Disney would call. But being racially lost and trying to be snow white is creepy and it would scare the already white majority.

Haeley I am praying for you, for all of us who straddle both worlds racially even if it is only in our minds.

Thursday, March 4, 2010


In the Congo as of today there has been civil war 4 million dead and dying a remnant of the Tutsi vs Huti conflict that has shifted theaters and is now in east Congo. The extra nasty part of this is a few of the Militias fighting are subsidized by Pentecostal Christian groups from over here, talk about horrible and ironic death squads for Christ. Rape, murder, starvation ongoing, yes its happening as we speak. Darfur is another hot spot, millions displaced hundreds of thousands killed, for oil. China subsidizes this war as well as Saudi Arabia and gawd knows who else. I am sure Cheney is in there too since he loves anything evil and devastating and potentially profitable.

Then Chile has a huge earthquake and the Global response is less critical since they already had a functional infrastructure one better equipped then say Haiti. Still many have died and they are not back to normal, far from it. we need to help them too.

I think we have a limit to crisis and what we can tolerate and care about. I think we have a stop gap, a place internally where we don't, can't, don't want to see terror anymore. I think though that we need better coverage on Television, imagine if during American Idol we had a crisis moment a global devastation minute so we don't forget the world and its crisis or ongoing conflict and we need constant reminders of what is actually happening in the world instead of wondering what Paris or Lyndsey is doing or how the Gosselins pay for the 8 children. America has a problem and it's global. If we don't address theses hot spots disease will manifest that will reach us. There is a reason people like Paul Farmer is on a mission to eradicate drug resistant strains of say TB or HIV its not because he is a cool dude. Although he is, its because we here in America will be next. These drug resistant viruses could wreak havoc here.

Its a selfish motive to try and protect life in America.

THIS is why it is important to care and be informed about places that are in deep dire straits.

We can help each of us we can keep the aid coming and we can volunteer.

Shizaster is a word invented by my dear friend Adrian Pasdar it means worse then a disaster.

We need to continue to give to "Partners in Health" and other relief agencies like "Doctors without borders".

Wednesday, March 3, 2010


Starting with myself I have a list of things needing to be forgiven. I can list a few unsavory things and a few less so. Nothing too monstrous, still I wish I could be without a lot of my lame habits. These habits I hold on to could use adjusting and then I think well its what makes life live able being human and imperfect. In fact being real is more loving for all. Okay then I can regress back to my worst self and get mad at say family, my father in particular. Yesterday someone I adore said they disliked dad just from the things I have written here about him. It makes me feel sweetly supported and yet he doesn't deserve anger and hate as much as understanding. I can analyse his ways, have done so all of my life and see a very human, yes deeply flawed man; So I have to give him slack. I have to be generous like I need to be generous to myself. We all need to lighten up when it comes to be wronged by those who have annihilated us. Even if it means surviving a death of a loved one who was murdered. Now I am not condoning murder or murderers but I do understand why surviving families of victims forgive the killer. I get it. This is why I forgive my father. Its not worth living a long life with the stress of hate. Hate breeds illness in our bodies and who needs that to compound our grief? We must forgive all those we have issues with for the same reasons. I do believe that if they knew, truly knew what they were doing they would not do it. This is how much faith I have in the human system of reason. I am not talking about the insane,lost or confused (drug addled) I am talking about if a soul a person were made to truly understand their impact on their environment they would not commit any harm. In my families case I know we do what we do because we are in FEAR!
We commit evil in society because some how in our thinking we think the world has ditched us and we need to take, in some cases take a life. Sad and frightening but it must be this way. I know with everything we need to address mental ill health is a BIGGIE with a capital B. Most of the insane are walking around undiagnosed.

So in my personal life I go in and out of understanding and being generous to my father. I can malign him and enjoy it and then I stop because it's picking on the disabled. So I want to ask my fans and friends and loved ones not to dislike Tommy Chong unless he really has hurt you and separate from here and me you have issues. To those of you who have gathered information from me about him don't hate on him. I don't, I love him and he deserves like everyone in the universe deserves another chance to be a good man, or not. We all try to do our best. We do...some of us are better at it then most.

He is flawed and he is scared like all of us,especially me.

Forgive,for me...thanks.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

I love YOU!

There is so much to love about human kind. I can list them and I can revel in your glow. I was watching Bill Maher yesterday do stand up and I noticed a few things. He has feminine gestures his wrists bend and he almost looks like a a women when making a point. I noticed this with George Clooney as well. It's as if these bimbo dating macho men with nice packages have a feminine aspect that leaks out when they speak or make a point. It's fascinating. When I listen to other "men" I notice their body english is clearer and they are decidedly gender specific. Not these two, by the way I adore Bill M. George and I have a history so I can't say I adore him. I respect him and think his movies are divine. Bill is a wonder I think his show is a gift and although I deeply disagree with his religion about women being all hoes, which I know he prefers them to other types of women but just because you have a preference doesn't mean everyone is that same type. I know many of both and thankfully the world is well balanced with both type of women. Amazingly women who are hot and not trying to hook up with a rich dude are hardly ever celebrated. I find that sad...but I digress from my point. We do the best we can...and when we do the best we can we don't always succeed but I think it important to try. I think it important to go for everything one way or another and fail but die trying.

So watching Bill Maher I was fascinated by how he can't and how we cannot hide our wounds. It leaks out. His obvious fear of women and their power, anger leaks out of him, its pure rage thinly veiled at the Female species. I say Female because someone long ago crushed him badly made him feel ashamed and he has been on a mission to kill ever since. I can't tell when she did it but I gather it was when he was lowest. Too bad because he is almost too perfect except for his misogyny. I love his panels and I like his erudition. I believe he cares about America and I agree with almost everything he says except for this little niggling issue. Sometimes he offends me when he takes a too close cut at the African American community and people just because you sleep with African Americans doesn't mean you are one or are in "The club". It's membership by injection; My Father often makes racist statements and he shouldn't, its bigotry, no matter who you are and what your preferred sexual preference.

So if anything is bothering you or you are hiding something and you don't want to face it; it's out there, it is leaking out all over the place. You are giving out hints to everyone. Nothing is hidden...nothing EVER.
We are transparent beings and this makes me LOVE us.

So there I said it...I love YOU!