Monday, June 21, 2010

My business, yours and Gods...

Speaking with one of my friends recently we were discussing a situation where a friend of his was suffering and preparing to do an intervention on her adult child. This man who was struggling with drugs and alcohol whilst still living at home and being supported by his parent, his mom, this man is 26 years old and getting drunk and high everyday and apparently the mother is done with it. I had an epiphany about it and far be it for me to know what is good for you and I apologize if I am about to offend anyone but in my universe I have been taught by (Byron Katie) that it is NOT our business what other people do to themselves, PERIOD. So it follows if the mom doesn’t want to witness the man (her adult child) doing what he does and if she doesn’t want to support him financially then she shouldn’t. She should stay in her business. BUT if she is guilty and feeling aware of her short comings as a person/mother then she is HOOKED in. It is collusion meaning the man who is addicted and doing his thing and the witness the mother who is enabling. Plus the truth be told nothing and no one can change us…we decide to get on with it and drop behaviors in favor of more productive ones or NOT. This is key. Nothing inspires a deep transition then self consciousness an “ah ha” moment the instantaneous realization that this is YOUR life so live it YOUR way not for anything else or anyone! If this mother really and truly loved herself and her child she would address her own issues first which let’s face it are many or at least as much and as messed up as the man child she is enabling. Plus guilt will enslave us. It will bring a reign of terror into our lives that don’t really need to exist. Most of us don’t realize that we don’t have to love our children or be loved by them. Most of us don’t embrace the unknown; most of us don’t know how to say help. Most of us don’t know how to admit they are helpless and miserable about it. We just don’t have that go to humility. Our social network doesn’t support it. Tough love is bogus. What is needed is self realization, understanding of our own truths and love. When we can step out of others business and delve into our own story and get clarity here, we always and I mean it, we always see the way to go! The way is clear and the right attitude and action presents, its divine and its grace. Because we see our part in the picture and we see where we are out of our circle of influence. Someone did a major disservice when describing parenthood. Someone said we have to love our children no matter what and they said we have to be perfect parents. It’s not true. We can be imperfect and be perfect within that and we cannot love our own flesh and blood and we can stop the co dependence and get real and honest with OURSELVES. We can grow up.
I am not an expert but I notice when I am clear about my motives and I am fluent in my business I see the world as perfect and balanced. I don’t see addiction or another’s imperfection, no. I am fluent in love and trust in “what is”. When people are working drugs and alcohol who are you or me to say what is right for them? Including death…how are we to presume we know what is best for another especially if they are adults. We in the west don’t understand what a “walk about” is. A “walk about” is the souls need to get off the grid. To stop functioning like everyone else, until we as a society own up to this spiritual non religious need we will never ever understand addiction and the soul’s sickness. We will fail those we could be holding in love and light and understanding as they find their way, their way. This is big stuff.
As Byron katie says there are only three types of business; Mine,yours and Gods. Stay in yours and let others work it out on their own.
This is life, lived with love.

Sunday, June 20, 2010


Fathers like mothers have a tough road to hoe. Massive expectation and no hand guide to help one along. It’s all flying blind or so it seems. My dad has mainly been a source of extremes either joy or misery. He has only recently been holding in an even pattern around tolerable and a bit lovable too. I think it has to do with his age he is OLD now and still trying to stir stuff up and doing a fine job no doubt and gawd knows we differ in what we perceive has say honesty or allowable but he is my only Father and I must appreciate what I have manifested. My Father taught me to be a cool daddy expert. I have spent my childhood collecting people, men to watch over me. So when my Father was lacking I made sure Bernie Bergman picked up the slack for instance. Boyfriend’s fathers have done a fine jobs for the time I have spent within the fold of their families. I consider my life blessed with these caring dynamic men who taught me that I was right in my unmet demands and who showed me how to love and care for children and that I wasn’t wrong in my desire and my sadness’s and pain for what was lacking in my childhood. I also realized that men who are raised predominantly by women miss out on a lot. So when I had my boy I was set on a path to make sure I could balance his parental input so he had a fighting chance. I know it is important for men to be seen and witnessed and loved and carried by other male figures, in a spots centric or adventurous way. Not in an unhealthy (drinking and prostitution) setting but in a productive way that will allow growth and strength to be nurtured. So I succeeded and my boy has done pretty well to say the least. My Father had some amazing sweet parents who did the best they could and today I see their influence and I miss them. Yet I see where he missed out too. So if given a chance and you happen to be a parent of a boy child please commit to understanding everything you can about the boys journey. Please step aside if you are a women so the child can grow up and out from under your metaphorical skirts. Please let the boy child see and find his wings so to speak.
A hovering over protective mother does not make an autonomous healthy boy, no. It is the mother who knows when to step aside (13 yrs old) and allow others to help shape her son into a man provided it is a trustworthy environment one she has thoroughly vetted before entrusting her child to them/it.
In a safe environment,that is challenging and fun our boy children can become men, and that is the ultimate goal.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010


I am certain we will never get the facts regarding the complete devastation of the Gulf of Mexico If the radio is correct and BP is preventing journalists from accessing the coastline then its worse, far worse then what is being reported. I think it fascinating that a country as large as Brazil can function quite smoothly on Ethanol. Yet every expert says we here in the USA cannot? I am not buying this party line. So what we have here is a failure to communicate with leadership stretched and challenged to find solutions to a problem that is wide and deep and old as this country. In other words "The ruling class" of industrialists have kept America in the dark ages, addicted to Oil to suit and provide them with profit. I pray and wish for each and everyone of them that they truly get theirs. We civilians need to be brave and jump on the alternative bandwagon shown to us by a few marvelously forward thinking countries like, Norway, Denmark, Brazil. I personally want to see all of the economically depressed south jump onto the Ethanol production stage NOW! Forgo protecting Big Oil. It is a dead duck. We have allowed an Ocean to be massacred. Shame on us! Plus we will never live to see the complete destruction because decades from now is when it will, if lucky, finally stop. This will be proof of our greediness, it will still be impacting our shores, that is the future. Most of the people in power will be long dead before the absolute shit storm hits and I think that unfair. I think it time with this gushing artery of destruction destroying our beloved Oceans to be the cataylst that pushes us off the fence of indecision and tomfoolery. We have the ability to transition to alternative energy NOW.
Why is Gore so silent on the issue?
We have the resources, the excess corn,soy and sugar cane...guys?

Sunday, June 13, 2010

The 18

Imagine you are a plain Jane which isn’t such a bad thing for a very long list of reasons but this being America and celebrity one of our favorite sports being ordinary or plain just won’t do. So imagine that you have a group of friends who all happen to be female like you and you are looking at a life that will be pretty predictable and quiet and probably uneventful so a couple of you decide to do the unthinkable because truth be told you are never going to garner much attention being from a very small town and you are not extraordinary or even pretty( in a lot of the cases) so why not do something as a group, like get knocked up by a complete stranger, all 18 of you. If you are a big fan of a film like Juno in which the right questions are being asked and you can identify with the film…and again your life will not amount to much international notice why not do something as a group that will garner attention the world over? I can see this being motive and the idea of a gaggle of 16 year olds saying let’s all get preggers together and we’ll deal with the consequences “together” as a whole? Looking at the faces of some of the women from Glouster Mass and seeing what seems to be a pretty simple maybe to them “boring” life.
I can believe these women wanted to do something extraordinary just because. Now with the babies and the whole world aware of them they are famous, they are a success and the plan worked. They will forever be the Glouster 18 and the mystery as to why prevails.

I think the only sad thing is that hopefully the homeless man who impregnated these children doesn’t get in any trouble. Apparently he was or is slightly mentally challenged and needs to be taken in to some place that will watch out for him. Oh this is so sorted…and I did hear that the young boys being accused in this mass impregnation have declined any involvement, meaning all of the children, the girls were knocked up by the same lone man who slept/sleeps outside the Catholic Church in the back alley.
Isn’t life just wild?

Thursday, June 10, 2010


I fall in love everyday…walking, running, playing tennis, with my dogs in the woods something will get my heart pumping with joy and love and it’s there done, LOVE. What is interesting is my actual relationship, it’s not perfect by any means and gawd knows I have no idea truly how to be in a relationship. Yet I must say it is my guru, it is my teacher and I am on my knees in humility at the feet of “us”. I have no conscious idea how to sustain or maintain and be in a relationship but I see that I am in them more then not and I wonder? What is this thing and is it love? Oh I had a good 7 years of being with myself and I loved it until I didn’t. I am itching now for change and not sure if it is honest and what is best.
I adore this dance, life because it’s so messy. It is not neat and tidy. Life for me is like my hair it’s tangled and wild. So it is that I fall in Love a lot. I can see potential and life affirming beauty in every one I meet. I think there is an abundance of love and partners in life and it isn’t a matter of “there are no good men” I hear that refrain a lot from my single girl and guy friends and I don’t share this as truth because my experience is there is nothing but hunky fabulous glorious willing souls dying to be plucked into your arms. You say no, I say yes! I notice though that the catch the resistance is just that resistance. Imagine that you are driving a car down the road and you are reading a book at the same time and painting your nails too. Impossible? You bet well we go about love the same way. We don’t show up fully and when we do show up we can’t see who is in front of us and when we do see them we want to apply paint to change them. So in reality we are not present so no wonder no one sees who is appearing. Crazy and soooooo simple, and YET obviously difficult to change otherwise we would be a world of abundance in love. Yet we are a world abundant in LOVE. I have met scores of loveable people who are scrumptious recently literally gorgeous single beings. Some have hooked up and others are looking. I am convinced if we sat down and stripped away the plans and ideas got out of the way of our minds mess and our ego’s demands we would be delighted at the instant appearance of “the one”. Let’s face it everyone we meet is the one because they are. It is all one force anyway. So get off your ideas, shelf the concepts and open up your eyes to the gorgeousness and abundance of love, right there in front of you now. And please just say YES, THANK YOU!

Sunday, June 6, 2010


At the risk of repeating myself and having no one truly believe me when I say, that allowing 60,000 untested toxic chemicals to be released into our atmosphere is unforgiveable, it is. Chemicals released into our atmosphere here in America causes cancers and a whole host of other maladies including I believe creating men or males that are mutating feminine. Men or boys who are barely that... male, because they are bombarded from early childhood with chemicals that create an over flow of estrogen because that is how the human body deals with the onslaught it creates estrogens, have you noticed in the last thirty years that actors born and raised in America are short and somewhat effeminate? Compared to the higher majority of actors from everywhere else but here? Look at the early films we had a lot more manly men in film but not lately and not in the last 20 years most definitely I say maybe 30 years is when it started and guess what? Today we have and I am not exaggerating 60,000 toxic chemicals released into our air and water systems that must (you do the math) get into the food supply and into our systems. Is it any wonder we have cancers? To further make my point regarding men and maleness look at British, Irish, Australian /New Zealand and Canadian men compare them physically with our home grown shorties? It’s sad. Then count the differing cancers? The number has steadily ramped upwards. The new head of the EPA suggested on CNN tonight that this administration has decided to start doing something about it.Goodluck! What is shockingly criminal is what or who allowed the chemical lobbies so much leeway? Who are these men and women that allowed this problem to become so bad and so silently? These are crimes against humanity and they have been committed and continue to be committed in the name of industry. 60,000 is a HUGE number. I first heard about the chemical lobby when the number of chemicals was 31,000 and how none, NONE of the chemicals used in every product and in everything we make and use in America has been tested officially. The Rachel Carson’s in the world are far and few between and when they do speak up no one listens or big industry runs them off with horrible smear campaigns. Grandfathering laws that protect industry at the expense of health, our actual health is criminal. We need to stop and assess this industry, chemicals. More importantly who are these scoundrels? I want to see American boys grow tall and strong and be boys and not filled with estrogens. We deserve that at least. Hollywood in a weird way is a good measure. Seriously for arguments sake look at film from the last 30 years look at our current stable of homegrown actors and tell me are they not getting shorter and more girl like?
Its awful.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

The Big Easy

The joy of rest and recovery, being in New Orleans was amazing I loved making the film “Jeff who lives at home” working with the Duplass men was a treat, I just melted with admiration and love for all of it because New Orleans is a hot mess, both beautiful and on the brink of disaster. Making it a tense but fun place to be. I was impressed by the people and a bit frightened by them too. I am not used to being so close to deep poverty. When you visit New Orleans one is reminded how deep poverty especially in the South is. In that city one is next door to it. There isn’t a big geographical buffer; no it is in ones face. Still the folks there couldn’t have been sweeter. Is it possible to want to be there part time without being silly? I just fell in love. Also I feel incredible sadness about the oil spill. It seems that so much focus is on BP and its failure to stop the leak when in fact we need to frame how many lives will be affected both animal and human. The full impact of this fuck up. What isn’t being fully shared are the lives ruined by the killing of the Gulf. No matter how much everyone on the top is trying to diminish things this is a full on MURDER of a sea. We are stupid greedy and delusional to think our addiction to oil will not matter to our future health as a nation or world in fact. It is a travesty and I am thinking these sinkholes are part of the proof that taking oil out is a problem. Not scientific I know but something to think about.
I also enjoyed the lackadaisical attitude to drinking and partying. Here in the Northeast and just maybe the north in general we could use a bit of that. We could use an easier attitude about partying. Every time we take a drink we are frightened we are alcoholics and maybe we are but so what? As long as we can function, can complete our chores we are all set!
I don’t approve of drinking and driving but I do like that one can take a “go” cup of your drink and walk outside. The big easy…make a trip there if you can in winter and enjoy the best food and partying in the USA.
Okay…I am home and it is sweet to be back. I notice I miss FB a bit. I miss hearing about everyone. I don’t miss being a part of a huge network and I know Google is just that and I am on a mission to fix that. We are in the world of free and it’s important to find our way within it. Till then be kind…to yourself and pray for the Gulf.