Recently there was a sweet child voted off the horrid show American Idol. I call it the leader in pain television because for every triumph it showcases there is a bunch of agony as they torture the contestants and audience by making them sing one last time. It's creepy television at its best. My BF loves this show as much as I dislike everything about it. Oh sure I will listen when someone is good but mostly I ignore it. Except the child named Haeley. I felt so sad for her I could see watching her sing and speak racial confusion (she doesn't know her ethnicity) and maybe age confusion she acts like a 9 year old. There is so much going so wrong about her. It made me remember my own racial confusion and how growing up in Canada the great WHITE north didn't help my racial understanding or anchoring. So I watched her try to be Miley Cyrus and it was oh so wrong. My BF thought she was awful and I thought she was lost. What do you say to a little girl who doesn't want to be anything but a white Disney movie star? How do you tell her she is the exact opposite and that it is enough? How do you tell her she will find her way in an unfriendly landscape if she maintains a balanced accepting sense of herself? That all of the racial inequity will one day be better for her she will maybe live long enough to see equal pay? How do you encourage children like this not to ditch herself? It's baffling? I am in pain for her and I doubt Disney will pick up the phone. They don't want a black child trying to be a white child and if they did they have a boat load of them still waiting to be called. No television wants a black child to be ghetto and specific and deep street. They don't want beige or blurry socially integrated intelligence. That is threatening to the status quo. If missy spoke with a southern almost pigeon English then maybe Disney would call. But being racially lost and trying to be snow white is creepy and it would scare the already white majority.
Haeley I am praying for you, for all of us who straddle both worlds racially even if it is only in our minds.