Can we be in love for a moment? I am lit with enthusiasm for life. Yes...I am excited , I have so much to achieve some or a lot will not get done, I am not sure what and it's not my business either way. Still I am happy in this moment, now here with you. I have moments of illumination when I remember that we never get it done, it's the journey not the destination. In fact I think the more sloppy and failure prone the luckier we are. Since lately I have been feeling a bit less glossy or glamorous a kind of anti Kimora Simmons. I can find the worth of being last or not so shiny.
My life is simple easy still at times I feel fragile or lost or foggy and unmotivated. I have been all of the above and still now I am buzzing with love and happy to be alive and tickled that the birds are singing, bees are buzzing and I can watch tennis and eat oatmeal and tell you all about it.
My life is complicated and yet is it really? No, my thinking of my life is complicated.
We do three things according to Byron Katie; We Stand , sit, or lie horizontal.
The rest is filled in "story"...gunk.
So in my wreck less wonder, or crazy hippy happy way, whatever we call it, I feel alive worthy and loved. No outward reason.
I wish the same for you today; Love, love and more love.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
My brush with death
Driving to work late one morning from my lovely beach community at the end of summer. I was in my shiny black Mercedes sitting at a stop sign. I had rented a small shack on the water in a lovely seaside town called Birchbay. I was going into my second year there. I loved living in the border town. It was an hour away from my other house in Vancouver, Canada and from the set. I was filming the last season of a series called “Mysterious Ways”. Having the beach retreat allowed me to keep my days in the USA up (over 180 days) while I worked in Canada. Yes it was a tax thing but with a benefit. I got to live in a cool resort retirement community.
As I sat at the stop sign I noticed a big car coming down the road, medium speed.
I could have gone in front of it but something said wait. So I did. It passed me but as it did I made eye contact with the driver. He was an African American male, handsome and yet when our eyes met it was as if I was what? He looked at me like a hunter looks at prey. It sent a shiver down my spine.
As his car passed mine he snapped his neck to get a good look at me, he slowed his vehicle to a crawl. I waited a good moment or two before I pulled out after his car. I thought something was off, I felt weird. My community was pretty small and predominantly white (very tolerant and welcoming) still it was noticeable if someone of color was around. I noticed things like that being of color and I had not noticed him before. The driver was handsome with a medium size Afro (out of style). Having never seen the car or the driver before, he was acting weird, I was on alert. I could see that he was alone or so it seemed and he was was wearing a flak jacket. Being a border community that wasn’t unusual you would often see border agents wearing them. Normally there would be large white writing of some sort written across the chest, BORDER PATROL or DEA. It was not out of the norm to see a man wearing a flak vest. So immediately I think, he must be a new agent who has moved into the neighborhood.
I drive down the road. I can see that he had gotten out of his car. Okay I think "he’s creepy". I notice that he is lean, tall, he is wearing out of date polyester pants, his Afro and his clothes a throw back to the 70’s. He has on a collared shirt underneath the flak vest that is unusual and it's a blank vest no writing on it.
My intuition is on alert. alarms are now going off in my head.
No one from my area wear flak vests without writing, not even hunters. The local fish and game guys were obvious they wore camouflage,and they were out earlier. This guy was off, something wasn't right with him plus he had a lot of ordinance hanging off his body, too many bullets.
Standing outside his now parked car he watches my car coming and as if on cue I see that him begin to kick his tires as if he has a flat, only he doesn’t. He is pretending something is wrong. I can feel that he wants me to stop. Every part of my intuition is screaming "be careful" keep moving!
I pass him slowly…to double check his situation, just in case I am being paranoid.
I don’t see a problem except that he definitely wants me to slow or stop for him. He looks at me as I am passing and the feeling? Pure hate, evil, I felt chilled. So I put my foot to the gas and I speed away as fast as my car will go which being a Mercedes is fast. I look in the rear view mirror. He runs to get into his car. His car I notice is an American make maybe a Crown Victoria cop like, its a murky color it was retro like his style.
Speeding away I leave him in the dust. I make sure to turn on to different streets so I am hard to follow.
Two weeks later watching the news I see that car again. There were reports of a sniper on the East Coast killing people I didn’t pay too close attention I was working. Then the story broke wide when after murdering ten people all over the country the killers were apprehended caught by the authorities while sleeping at a truck stop. Then I saw a photo of the ‘Shooter” or one “the DC snipers” that’s the name they acquired. It was the same man in the flak jacket, the same guy from Birchbay. Apparently he and his accomplice spent the morning in a field (in Birchbay) target shooting nearby where I was living at the time. A morning spent shooting at stumps and apparently looking for victims. His target of choice, woman of color. Just like me. Just like the wife he was getting back at by killing innocent people.
Behind my street stood a very open large tract of land in fact the surrounding area was nothing but large tracts of land a perfect place to target shoot. He was living in a shelter in Seattle an hour and a half south of Birchbay. A disgruntled mentally deranged ex-military man who was living in a shelter, who spent his time training an underage child, a kid he had “adopted”in the art of combat, murder. That day they were looking for prey. His accomplice would lie prone in a special cubby they built inside the car that extended to the trunk. The kids name was Malvoy, a teenage boy from the Caribbean. The kid, stupid and impressed was being trained by Mohammad in his Mohammad's personal war on society. The kid with his eye in the scope of the high powered rifle lying in wait for anyone, for me. They had rigged the car so the gun aimed out of a small undetectable hole in the trunk. When I passed them slowly the car was parked with the trunk facing the road. Had I been a proper neighbor and stopped to check on the handsome man with “The problem” I would have been lined up exactly so the kid could get a clean shot at close range. Helping him would have been my last moment on Earth. Sends chills down my spine.
I would have never seen it coming. That’s how they got their victims…needing help. Once they had your attention they killed. Cowards, deranged men.
By that morning they had already shot killed and robbed three people. One victim a woman in Louisiana I bet she thought he was handsome too, like I did.
Apparently he was on a rampage to get revenge because his wife was successful in escaping from him and she was awarded full custody of their children. He was looking to kill her ultimately but he wanted to punish the world. So he made his way east looking for her, them. We trained this man. Our tax dollars paid for his military skills.
It is so horrible to think that I made eye contact with this killer. Something scary was in his eyes and I saw it, I felt it. I am alive because I followed my inner guidance to be on alert, to distrust him. I urge everyone to trust the senses, to trust your quiet self, that inner knowing. There are deeply confused individuals out there.
I read an article about the accomplice, Malvoy. It said that of the two he was not sentenced to death. He was sentenced to life with no parole. He lives in a cell where he is alone for 23 hours of the day. Apparently he cries most of the time. He caries for himself and apparently for the victims. I know this may sound terrible but he came across in the article as a simpleton, mentally challenged. I hope so. Mentally challenged he may not have had the ability to know things. To know that Mohammad was a crack pot, a psychotic killer. I feel sad for him , the same as I do for their victims. So it seems extra tragic that this idiot who killed along with this guy is rotting away in a cell. I believe he has gotten what he deserves he is a murderer. Still if he is mentally challenged it’s sad.
The boy sentenced as an adult crying all day in a cell for the rest of his life. Everything he did he did for love, harm for love, for the approval of his mentor.
We lack efficient means of diagnosing and treating people with mental health issues in the world and in this country particularly. Both of these men need and needed help before they went on the rampage. Killing innocent people is a heinous act and one that should be punished. Still I am sorry for everyone and I hope for their sake that these men are getting help. Don’t get me wrong they deserve their punishment. But I can’help think that our system our society failed everyone. Them and the people who were killed and their survivors. We all suffer.
We have a lot of mentally ill people walking around undiagnosed and unsupported. What’s really at issue here is that we need to address mental health and the science and in some cases the spiritual science that it is.
It’s imperative we give it attention, because it is an issue, as a society we need to give more time and money. We need a stronger network of helpers, doctors, nurses. We need more well funded clinics for people to go to and heal or not heal but still remain safe for themselves and society as a whole.
Had these men been diagnosed had many men and woman been diagnosed properly and lovingly cared for we might not be sitting here reeling in sorrow. I don’t wish anyone a brush with a serial killer. These “killers” are just like you and me only different. “They “demand our attention in the most destructive ways possible.
No more Virginia Techs, Columbines, Amish school house massacres…let’s create a society that cares for the lost, the broken and confused, let’s.
As I sat at the stop sign I noticed a big car coming down the road, medium speed.
I could have gone in front of it but something said wait. So I did. It passed me but as it did I made eye contact with the driver. He was an African American male, handsome and yet when our eyes met it was as if I was what? He looked at me like a hunter looks at prey. It sent a shiver down my spine.
As his car passed mine he snapped his neck to get a good look at me, he slowed his vehicle to a crawl. I waited a good moment or two before I pulled out after his car. I thought something was off, I felt weird. My community was pretty small and predominantly white (very tolerant and welcoming) still it was noticeable if someone of color was around. I noticed things like that being of color and I had not noticed him before. The driver was handsome with a medium size Afro (out of style). Having never seen the car or the driver before, he was acting weird, I was on alert. I could see that he was alone or so it seemed and he was was wearing a flak jacket. Being a border community that wasn’t unusual you would often see border agents wearing them. Normally there would be large white writing of some sort written across the chest, BORDER PATROL or DEA. It was not out of the norm to see a man wearing a flak vest. So immediately I think, he must be a new agent who has moved into the neighborhood.
I drive down the road. I can see that he had gotten out of his car. Okay I think "he’s creepy". I notice that he is lean, tall, he is wearing out of date polyester pants, his Afro and his clothes a throw back to the 70’s. He has on a collared shirt underneath the flak vest that is unusual and it's a blank vest no writing on it.
My intuition is on alert. alarms are now going off in my head.
No one from my area wear flak vests without writing, not even hunters. The local fish and game guys were obvious they wore camouflage,and they were out earlier. This guy was off, something wasn't right with him plus he had a lot of ordinance hanging off his body, too many bullets.
Standing outside his now parked car he watches my car coming and as if on cue I see that him begin to kick his tires as if he has a flat, only he doesn’t. He is pretending something is wrong. I can feel that he wants me to stop. Every part of my intuition is screaming "be careful" keep moving!
I pass him slowly…to double check his situation, just in case I am being paranoid.
I don’t see a problem except that he definitely wants me to slow or stop for him. He looks at me as I am passing and the feeling? Pure hate, evil, I felt chilled. So I put my foot to the gas and I speed away as fast as my car will go which being a Mercedes is fast. I look in the rear view mirror. He runs to get into his car. His car I notice is an American make maybe a Crown Victoria cop like, its a murky color it was retro like his style.
Speeding away I leave him in the dust. I make sure to turn on to different streets so I am hard to follow.
Two weeks later watching the news I see that car again. There were reports of a sniper on the East Coast killing people I didn’t pay too close attention I was working. Then the story broke wide when after murdering ten people all over the country the killers were apprehended caught by the authorities while sleeping at a truck stop. Then I saw a photo of the ‘Shooter” or one “the DC snipers” that’s the name they acquired. It was the same man in the flak jacket, the same guy from Birchbay. Apparently he and his accomplice spent the morning in a field (in Birchbay) target shooting nearby where I was living at the time. A morning spent shooting at stumps and apparently looking for victims. His target of choice, woman of color. Just like me. Just like the wife he was getting back at by killing innocent people.
Behind my street stood a very open large tract of land in fact the surrounding area was nothing but large tracts of land a perfect place to target shoot. He was living in a shelter in Seattle an hour and a half south of Birchbay. A disgruntled mentally deranged ex-military man who was living in a shelter, who spent his time training an underage child, a kid he had “adopted”in the art of combat, murder. That day they were looking for prey. His accomplice would lie prone in a special cubby they built inside the car that extended to the trunk. The kids name was Malvoy, a teenage boy from the Caribbean. The kid, stupid and impressed was being trained by Mohammad in his Mohammad's personal war on society. The kid with his eye in the scope of the high powered rifle lying in wait for anyone, for me. They had rigged the car so the gun aimed out of a small undetectable hole in the trunk. When I passed them slowly the car was parked with the trunk facing the road. Had I been a proper neighbor and stopped to check on the handsome man with “The problem” I would have been lined up exactly so the kid could get a clean shot at close range. Helping him would have been my last moment on Earth. Sends chills down my spine.
I would have never seen it coming. That’s how they got their victims…needing help. Once they had your attention they killed. Cowards, deranged men.
By that morning they had already shot killed and robbed three people. One victim a woman in Louisiana I bet she thought he was handsome too, like I did.
Apparently he was on a rampage to get revenge because his wife was successful in escaping from him and she was awarded full custody of their children. He was looking to kill her ultimately but he wanted to punish the world. So he made his way east looking for her, them. We trained this man. Our tax dollars paid for his military skills.
It is so horrible to think that I made eye contact with this killer. Something scary was in his eyes and I saw it, I felt it. I am alive because I followed my inner guidance to be on alert, to distrust him. I urge everyone to trust the senses, to trust your quiet self, that inner knowing. There are deeply confused individuals out there.
I read an article about the accomplice, Malvoy. It said that of the two he was not sentenced to death. He was sentenced to life with no parole. He lives in a cell where he is alone for 23 hours of the day. Apparently he cries most of the time. He caries for himself and apparently for the victims. I know this may sound terrible but he came across in the article as a simpleton, mentally challenged. I hope so. Mentally challenged he may not have had the ability to know things. To know that Mohammad was a crack pot, a psychotic killer. I feel sad for him , the same as I do for their victims. So it seems extra tragic that this idiot who killed along with this guy is rotting away in a cell. I believe he has gotten what he deserves he is a murderer. Still if he is mentally challenged it’s sad.
The boy sentenced as an adult crying all day in a cell for the rest of his life. Everything he did he did for love, harm for love, for the approval of his mentor.
We lack efficient means of diagnosing and treating people with mental health issues in the world and in this country particularly. Both of these men need and needed help before they went on the rampage. Killing innocent people is a heinous act and one that should be punished. Still I am sorry for everyone and I hope for their sake that these men are getting help. Don’t get me wrong they deserve their punishment. But I can’help think that our system our society failed everyone. Them and the people who were killed and their survivors. We all suffer.
We have a lot of mentally ill people walking around undiagnosed and unsupported. What’s really at issue here is that we need to address mental health and the science and in some cases the spiritual science that it is.
It’s imperative we give it attention, because it is an issue, as a society we need to give more time and money. We need a stronger network of helpers, doctors, nurses. We need more well funded clinics for people to go to and heal or not heal but still remain safe for themselves and society as a whole.
Had these men been diagnosed had many men and woman been diagnosed properly and lovingly cared for we might not be sitting here reeling in sorrow. I don’t wish anyone a brush with a serial killer. These “killers” are just like you and me only different. “They “demand our attention in the most destructive ways possible.
No more Virginia Techs, Columbines, Amish school house massacres…let’s create a society that cares for the lost, the broken and confused, let’s.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
The split
Trauma creates a unique response called "Splitting" where we separate our consciousness our awareness from the part of us we deem abused or guilty depending on the event. It is a rather distressing survival mechanism because we do this "splitting" off into segments unconsciously and it costs us because it's something that doesn't correct on it's own. No, we have to be aware we do this and we have to wrestle our selves back into wholeness. Not easy and impossible without assistance and if you feel like maybe you do this you should get help. One of the first clues is loss of time. We wake up in some cases years later going what have I just been doing? Often we go unassisted and we live entire lifetimes with little or no recollection of events past and it's tragic because awareness comes at the very end, stress filled.
Trauma, abuse anything we deem cataclysmic will set us apart will "split" us.
So if you suspect this is you get help. It is common and easily addressed.
Plus that feeling of "did I do something or say something wrong"? goes away.
We catch up with ourselves we no longer fear our actions.
Everyone deserves to be reunited, everyone deserves to feel safe.
Trauma, abuse anything we deem cataclysmic will set us apart will "split" us.
So if you suspect this is you get help. It is common and easily addressed.
Plus that feeling of "did I do something or say something wrong"? goes away.
We catch up with ourselves we no longer fear our actions.
Everyone deserves to be reunited, everyone deserves to feel safe.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
God of Carnage
Last night I was lucky I got to see the new play "God of Carnage" with James Gandolfini, Marcia Gay Harden, Hope Davis, and Jeff Daniels it was amazing, very funny and quite unsettling since it is a play centered around two couples brought together to discuss an "event" between their two boys with everyone at first on best behavior. It is often verbally violent mixed with high comedy. I was impressed by the play, great writing and confident staging. I was impressed by the audiences willingness to laugh at tough stuff and to not laugh at the right moments too. It exposes the truth of us and our needs and hopes which are often times cloaked in artifice. The need to be perfect and the needs which are not perfect but messy are on display. If you get to NYC and if you can try to see this 1.5 hours long therapy session/play called "God of Carnage".
I was seated next to an actor from the Sopranos who was tickled pink by the show and who laughed loudly...its hard (at first) but you do forget that the big guy on stage was once a hardened criminal on television that we fell in love with.
The play made me love humanity. We are flawed, so flawed but in our flaws we are perfection.
Genius.
I was seated next to an actor from the Sopranos who was tickled pink by the show and who laughed loudly...its hard (at first) but you do forget that the big guy on stage was once a hardened criminal on television that we fell in love with.
The play made me love humanity. We are flawed, so flawed but in our flaws we are perfection.
Genius.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Slender
There are a few affirmations that I enjoy I want to share them. I know it can be frustrating to do them, affirmations and it seems incredibly silly sometimes but I think they work. It feels as if they move brain matter or uplift our vibration. Vibrations beong everything...here are a few;
Divine intelligence gives me all the ideas I can use.
Everything I touch is a success.
There is plenty for everyone, including me.
There are plenty of customers for my services.
I establish a new awareness of success.
I move into the winning circle.
I am a magnet for Divine Prosperity.
I am blessed beyond my fondest dreams.
Riches are drawn to me.
Golden opportunities are everywhere for me.
Affirmations by;
Louise Hay from her book "you can heal your life"
I love these they have been my companions.
It seems so simplistic to do these affirmations but I think if we are deeply honest they are complex and difficult to truly believe and use.
It is takes small inner adjustments to reach our goals.
Tiny little movements upward in vibration.
...take it one affirmation at a time try to do them all day.
Then tell me how it felt/feels...I want to know.
We are loved, we are deeply adored.
Divine intelligence gives me all the ideas I can use.
Everything I touch is a success.
There is plenty for everyone, including me.
There are plenty of customers for my services.
I establish a new awareness of success.
I move into the winning circle.
I am a magnet for Divine Prosperity.
I am blessed beyond my fondest dreams.
Riches are drawn to me.
Golden opportunities are everywhere for me.
Affirmations by;
Louise Hay from her book "you can heal your life"
I love these they have been my companions.
It seems so simplistic to do these affirmations but I think if we are deeply honest they are complex and difficult to truly believe and use.
It is takes small inner adjustments to reach our goals.
Tiny little movements upward in vibration.
...take it one affirmation at a time try to do them all day.
Then tell me how it felt/feels...I want to know.
We are loved, we are deeply adored.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Exchange
Growing up I could list in long colorful details everything I felt was done to me by my Dad. As if he was supposed to be this tower of perfection the redefinition of Fatherhood. I was so upset that I had this guy as my Dad and yet I adored him like mad. Still do, I miss him when I don’t see him and I am in agony when I do see him or hear about him and it’s something he has done some crime committed that just irks me just throws me off my game. If he wasn’t so important to me I wouldn’t hang on his every action as if it mattered. Someone once said to me when I had given my father a wide berth (years) of space. They said you will miss him when he goes (dies) more then you will know and it will haunt you so get over what ever you have between him and love him. I forgot to call him on his birthday and it has really caused him and me pain. In truth it was his pain of having to remind me that it was his birthday that I felt. It is one thing to hate a person for their very being but not mean it (I never did mean it) it is another thing to really see that in deed I do affect him and it is to the quick so to speak.
AGH… fathers why is it that it is this lightening rod of “stuff” of history and it is so meaningful?
I am deeply grateful Tommy Chong is my father . His behavior growing up and as recent as yesterday has shaped me. It has helped me see my own deep wounds and faults which are many. And he has taught me tolerance., I love this guy and his imperfections. He is THE BEST father for me and I love him.
Happy Birthday daddy you are a sweet spot in my heart, my delight… my beloved.
AGH… fathers why is it that it is this lightening rod of “stuff” of history and it is so meaningful?
I am deeply grateful Tommy Chong is my father . His behavior growing up and as recent as yesterday has shaped me. It has helped me see my own deep wounds and faults which are many. And he has taught me tolerance., I love this guy and his imperfections. He is THE BEST father for me and I love him.
Happy Birthday daddy you are a sweet spot in my heart, my delight… my beloved.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Spew
The other day while playing tennis we took a break and for some reason we started telling war stories about our most embarrassing drunk moments. It was a lot of barfing and other distasteful bodily fluid loss in public or sort of public places. What was the most endearing thing for me was how generous everyone was and how unembarrassed we all were. It is natural to make mistakes, it is normal to over do it. I was and am so proud I know women who are so relaxed and comfortable about being imperfect. There was something else, it made me love each of them in deeper way. Okay , I am not encouraging people to over do it. I just think we need some times to be let off the hook. We get so driven to perfection that it prevents inner forgiveness of ourselves. I know for me I don’t trust someone who has never lost control. I am suspect of the person who keeps it all together 100% of the time. Where is the courage to “die” metaphorically, because whether it is with a substance like booze or hallucinogenics, illness or a temporary loss of sanity we all need to hike in the dark mountains of unknowing in order to find order, If you ask me. You are saying, why? Or disagreeing? Seriously if you keep everything together how will you know to trust life or God or what have you? Because when it all hits the fan and stuff happens, fans get hit…we need to know we can fly, or land or make it and or still be respectable.
Try it…tell someone or two, just make sure it is people you like in an appropriate place something you may have thought too embarrassing to share and share it. It’s amazing but it will not kill you and shock of ages, they too will probably come clean about something just as embarrassing and guess what? We get to discover everyone has moments. I am not saying blurt a spew story to your boss over the copy machine , not good.
No, I mean in a circle of chatter when everyone isn’t itching to be some where else and it’s just organic to share.
Being human is liberating and being imperfect Divine.
Try it…tell someone or two, just make sure it is people you like in an appropriate place something you may have thought too embarrassing to share and share it. It’s amazing but it will not kill you and shock of ages, they too will probably come clean about something just as embarrassing and guess what? We get to discover everyone has moments. I am not saying blurt a spew story to your boss over the copy machine , not good.
No, I mean in a circle of chatter when everyone isn’t itching to be some where else and it’s just organic to share.
Being human is liberating and being imperfect Divine.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Boy
Years ago when I was a teenager and had escaped family home . I found solace living on my own in a shitty apartment in Beverly Hills. Back then I resembled a boy. I was a short haired shapeless kid , I resembled a Moroccan boy . Still I was female and pretty, a mixed race Canadian girl. Thinking back on those days and my escapades I discovered a few things. I had sex with ( I would not call what I did dating) with men who were three times my age and if you ask me borderline gay. These were very famous men who were breaking the law and sleeping with a child me who resembled a boy. I was experimenting sexually, it was the seventies and foreplay was “hello my name is Rae Dawn”. The men where pathetic in that they were famous and old and would have sex with a child. It was basic for me they were famous and maybe sexy and or gorgeous even they had a nice house or great pot or fabulous conversation. I remember that the sex was never riveting or something I craved . No, it was the convenience and the comfort or the glamour of being in a Bentley or something like that. Each of these pedophiles had either girlfriends and or wives. I think I dabbled in famous men for long enough to know that most of the celebrity hunks were bi-sexual. I have decided this because if you see photo’s of me back in the day I was a boy, in looks only. I maintained friendships with my older lovers and sometimes I benefited from the contacts and sometimes it haunted me and bit me and opportunities didn’t come my way because I was so familiar and lets face it conquesting needs fresh blood. One of my lovers commented that he thought I was very,very smart and a great conversationalist and maybe I was but honestly I should have been studying and attending college and maintaining childhood for as long as humanly possible instead of running around Hollywood bed hopping and going to parties with my pack of girls. I don’t regret the exposure. I just think my time could have been spent in more productive ways. None of the fresh from NYC men and women soon to be studio heads ever helped my career not really. In fact as a note of caution ladies if you find yourself partying with a studio head I can promise you when they sober up the next day and remember you it won’t be in a good light it will be filled with disgust and remorse regardless if you were able to avoid having any sexual contact in fact the better you are at avoiding THAT the worse your luck will be because half the trouble comes from not putting out and the other half comes from giving it up. Lets face it , it’s a witch burning anyway you slice it. For a moment just look at the glee every one has had putting down Britney and Lyndsey when honestly every single one of these studio stiffs would have gone there With either girl at one point or another and chances are those two delightful hellcats rebuffed them. So when they have a bit too much or show up trashed or whatever they do there is happiness or general smugness and it hurts us all not just those two, all women, it really does.
There was a need to be free and grow up fast for me and Hollywood was ideal for that, it welcomed jail bait. I had fun being a brat cruising Sunset blvd. I am amazed it didn’t end tragic. I had an inner guidance that said “enough” when it really was. Plus, I love to travel and start fresh in remote places like say Canada or Woodstock NY. I think that wanderlust saved me from Los Angeles. Still, thinking back on those days, some very famous guys are pedophiles who swing both ways,even though my plumbing wasn't "gay" I looked like a young boy. Ha!
There was a need to be free and grow up fast for me and Hollywood was ideal for that, it welcomed jail bait. I had fun being a brat cruising Sunset blvd. I am amazed it didn’t end tragic. I had an inner guidance that said “enough” when it really was. Plus, I love to travel and start fresh in remote places like say Canada or Woodstock NY. I think that wanderlust saved me from Los Angeles. Still, thinking back on those days, some very famous guys are pedophiles who swing both ways,even though my plumbing wasn't "gay" I looked like a young boy. Ha!
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Stutter steps
In tennis it is important to be in the best or optimum place with our footwork in order to connect with the ball and to get there it is recommended to take stutter steps. It is something to watch Nadal who is the best at these mini steps. I am medium good at this. I have a tendency to lope to the ball and often over run it, less graceful but like a young deer.
In my progress as an Earthling I notice I stutter through my understanding about life in general. I am stunned by how little we know and how attached to what we know we are. There is always room for more. I was and am still upset that lots of people live better then I do, life is easier, they have grace, understanding and ease.
I have a hard time with the basics, seriously. It scares me sometimes and I wonder will I fail and am I already failed, shouldn't I be doing so much more?
Yesterday, I read a thank you from one of the people who read these "notes". Touched I was struck by how easy the simple gesture of sharing ones path is, it's love.
How it brings me so much personally. I feel alive and part of Earth literally, knowing some one has found benefit here.
I guess today I need to be patient and forgive myself for being such a beginner. I am a beginner in every way. Forgive myself for being unpolished with things like grace and ease.
There is no rush and I will never get there... yes I will have a rich glorious often fun time journeying toward this place and that is the point!
So I will stutter step to get into position to hit the ball (metaphorically) of my life.
Remembering that there is no there , there...
In my progress as an Earthling I notice I stutter through my understanding about life in general. I am stunned by how little we know and how attached to what we know we are. There is always room for more. I was and am still upset that lots of people live better then I do, life is easier, they have grace, understanding and ease.
I have a hard time with the basics, seriously. It scares me sometimes and I wonder will I fail and am I already failed, shouldn't I be doing so much more?
Yesterday, I read a thank you from one of the people who read these "notes". Touched I was struck by how easy the simple gesture of sharing ones path is, it's love.
How it brings me so much personally. I feel alive and part of Earth literally, knowing some one has found benefit here.
I guess today I need to be patient and forgive myself for being such a beginner. I am a beginner in every way. Forgive myself for being unpolished with things like grace and ease.
There is no rush and I will never get there... yes I will have a rich glorious often fun time journeying toward this place and that is the point!
So I will stutter step to get into position to hit the ball (metaphorically) of my life.
Remembering that there is no there , there...
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Tank Man
During the Olympics there was an awful violent incident where Americans were stabbed by a random man as they were sightseeing. The attacker just went berserk and stabbed and killed one guy and critically injured three others. It was tragic. I remember thinking why? Of course the Party line was he was a maniac mentally disabled guy who lost control.
Then I watched the Documentary on China called "Tank man". He was the lone man who stood for what seemed like an eternity in front of a row of tanks. Finally after climbing on board and what looked like taunting the driver he is whisked away.
The Authorities are mum...they just say he wasn't executed. Yeah? Hmmm, I think maybe he was immediately shot and killed.
The main body of the documentary deals with conditions of labor and what is still a huge travesty of abuses how so many millions live way below the poverty line and are exposed to labor conditions that are sub human. Unions? Not in China. People are treated worse now in China then before the revolution. I mean horrid conditions, for no pay to make goods for the rest of the world especially for us in USA. Then of course there is the construction slavery. It is slavery really no other name.
So it made me think back to that incident how it wasn't so random and with a bit of investigation I bet the man was suffering from extreme conditions and he was looking for attention. He was looking to show the WORLD that things are not quite what they seem in China. I think he was protesting and we because China (owns our asses) were diverted and told the party line he was insane. Funny how that wipes any and all credibility out the window.
Like Tank Man I want to know his story. He wasn't just a number a wacko and yet he was he chose to do a radical horrible act that took and damaged our lives. People like Paul Farmer keep warning us that unless we help others who are suffering sooner versus later we will get it back in a more harsh way it will impact us. Poverty and Disease will reach our shores our lives unless.
Please rent and view "Tank man" it is important we see and know more about China then what they want us to see. Then maybe it will also make us hesitate before we rush to save a buck at Walmart on any and all goods made there that in fact cost someone toiling for pennies 13 hours, 7 days a week all their young lives. Like blood diamonds China trades in blood products.
I for one am touched to support change.
Then I watched the Documentary on China called "Tank man". He was the lone man who stood for what seemed like an eternity in front of a row of tanks. Finally after climbing on board and what looked like taunting the driver he is whisked away.
The Authorities are mum...they just say he wasn't executed. Yeah? Hmmm, I think maybe he was immediately shot and killed.
The main body of the documentary deals with conditions of labor and what is still a huge travesty of abuses how so many millions live way below the poverty line and are exposed to labor conditions that are sub human. Unions? Not in China. People are treated worse now in China then before the revolution. I mean horrid conditions, for no pay to make goods for the rest of the world especially for us in USA. Then of course there is the construction slavery. It is slavery really no other name.
So it made me think back to that incident how it wasn't so random and with a bit of investigation I bet the man was suffering from extreme conditions and he was looking for attention. He was looking to show the WORLD that things are not quite what they seem in China. I think he was protesting and we because China (owns our asses) were diverted and told the party line he was insane. Funny how that wipes any and all credibility out the window.
Like Tank Man I want to know his story. He wasn't just a number a wacko and yet he was he chose to do a radical horrible act that took and damaged our lives. People like Paul Farmer keep warning us that unless we help others who are suffering sooner versus later we will get it back in a more harsh way it will impact us. Poverty and Disease will reach our shores our lives unless.
Please rent and view "Tank man" it is important we see and know more about China then what they want us to see. Then maybe it will also make us hesitate before we rush to save a buck at Walmart on any and all goods made there that in fact cost someone toiling for pennies 13 hours, 7 days a week all their young lives. Like blood diamonds China trades in blood products.
I for one am touched to support change.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Black swan
Is a book on the highly improbable and it's impact. Which is something very smart educated folks have a hard time forecasting. In fact it is impossible making it all the more devastating when things like 9/11 happen. When I finish it I will give my opinion at the moment I am too involved and still mid book. I am also reading a book about two writers who were best friends. One being quite physically handicapped (no lower jaw) but outgoing and the other being shy introverted but whole and quite pretty. They both struggled to make it as writers and maintain their friendship and so far so good but stuff happens and it is all quite sad.
I welcome sadness it helps me to be softer and more compassionate toward myself and others. My go to personality is sunny and underneath this is a fault line of sadness. There is nothing to complain about and yet there is...always something we can sit down and gripe about or the fear of losing my grasp.
Maybe it comes from being adopted and kind of a permanent guest or at least that is how I was raised. Never quite welcomed more tolerated. My take on things.
It's difficult to be a great friend.I fancy I am a great friend there is nothing I wouldn't do for my friends. I know when my pals want to give me hard information like don't eat so fast (I do) stopping drinking before I feel drunk (sometimes) I am impossible, I get upset, not so much because people are wrong (they never are) because I have been discovered. They have seen where I am broken and afraid.
Aging isn't easy not so much because it just marches on and there is no stopping time. It is hard because for me I almost never know what I really look like or feel like or think even. I am always caught a little outside myself "that's what I look like"?
It feels bad...I know most people are the same that doesn't bring comfort. In fact that is a bullshit saying "misery enjoys company" no misery wants a break and needs distraction.
Yet it isn't normal to be always aware of everything exactly either, balance. What do we do when we know how someone is going to turn out? Do we offer our predictions?
No we don't because like a "Black Swan" there could be something glorious like improbability, proving it all could come right and they could succeed against all odds.
Gathering facts with common sense and knowledge doesn't factor in the improbable, or it's possibility. I like that it gives me hope for me and my friend.
I welcome sadness it helps me to be softer and more compassionate toward myself and others. My go to personality is sunny and underneath this is a fault line of sadness. There is nothing to complain about and yet there is...always something we can sit down and gripe about or the fear of losing my grasp.
Maybe it comes from being adopted and kind of a permanent guest or at least that is how I was raised. Never quite welcomed more tolerated. My take on things.
It's difficult to be a great friend.I fancy I am a great friend there is nothing I wouldn't do for my friends. I know when my pals want to give me hard information like don't eat so fast (I do) stopping drinking before I feel drunk (sometimes) I am impossible, I get upset, not so much because people are wrong (they never are) because I have been discovered. They have seen where I am broken and afraid.
Aging isn't easy not so much because it just marches on and there is no stopping time. It is hard because for me I almost never know what I really look like or feel like or think even. I am always caught a little outside myself "that's what I look like"?
It feels bad...I know most people are the same that doesn't bring comfort. In fact that is a bullshit saying "misery enjoys company" no misery wants a break and needs distraction.
Yet it isn't normal to be always aware of everything exactly either, balance. What do we do when we know how someone is going to turn out? Do we offer our predictions?
No we don't because like a "Black Swan" there could be something glorious like improbability, proving it all could come right and they could succeed against all odds.
Gathering facts with common sense and knowledge doesn't factor in the improbable, or it's possibility. I like that it gives me hope for me and my friend.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Toothpaste
Recently I was educated about some of the wonderous things that we use today in the modern world that was sourced from the Muslim world or the Arab world. One of them being Toothpaste. Lovely Toothpaste which I am very attached to. I love to brush my teeth. No matter how tough and complicated life is three things make me feel clean and alright and one of them is brushing my teeth.
Numbers and taxation (Genghis Khan started that) words we use etc...the list of innovations is enormous and I think important to remember in these weirdly Xenophobic times.
I get almost misty eyed when I read Rumi and some of the Koran.
It heals the world and prejudice to acknowledge every brilliant contribution that has come from the Arab world in history and today.
I get sad and frustrated when I hear the blatant racism that is spewed toward our brothers in the Middle east.
No one is all bad. No one.
A few bad apples and the entire race is cursed.
Silly...we can be so silly and lazy.
That's what we are... lazy.
A Muslim invented Toothpaste and for that I bow in appreciation.
Imagine.
Numbers and taxation (Genghis Khan started that) words we use etc...the list of innovations is enormous and I think important to remember in these weirdly Xenophobic times.
I get almost misty eyed when I read Rumi and some of the Koran.
It heals the world and prejudice to acknowledge every brilliant contribution that has come from the Arab world in history and today.
I get sad and frustrated when I hear the blatant racism that is spewed toward our brothers in the Middle east.
No one is all bad. No one.
A few bad apples and the entire race is cursed.
Silly...we can be so silly and lazy.
That's what we are... lazy.
A Muslim invented Toothpaste and for that I bow in appreciation.
Imagine.
Diagnosed
There is a story that has made the rounds about a famous woman (not me) who was diagnosed with a pretty serious cancer. This woman was on a journey, a spiritual quest very committed to it. She took the information and held it seeing that the doctor was just doing his/her job. She held them in deep respect and love and appreciation. Then she dropped into herself and saw or felt that in fact she didn't have Cancer. It wasn't a correct diagnosis. You say "how can that be?" they saw it the medical world and she didn't.
Simple.
This is a woman who was a dear customer to doctors in her recent past, she adored visiting them. They were her surrogate companions, they helped her to feel better about herself, she had used them to complete herself.
So when the big word came that she had cancer it's timing couldn't have been worse for the cancer because she didn't see or feel or believe she had it. She said "I couldn't find it and I looked."
So her family insisted more tests be done. So six months go by and they did more tests and there wasn't any cancer.
And yet there was...I am certain there was initially cancer.
I just think sometimes we get a sense of our identity and we remember our truest selves our wholeness and maybe in remembering our perfection and health and love-able-ness we heal.
Or accept a healing.
Chicken or egg you pick.
Simple.
This is a woman who was a dear customer to doctors in her recent past, she adored visiting them. They were her surrogate companions, they helped her to feel better about herself, she had used them to complete herself.
So when the big word came that she had cancer it's timing couldn't have been worse for the cancer because she didn't see or feel or believe she had it. She said "I couldn't find it and I looked."
So her family insisted more tests be done. So six months go by and they did more tests and there wasn't any cancer.
And yet there was...I am certain there was initially cancer.
I just think sometimes we get a sense of our identity and we remember our truest selves our wholeness and maybe in remembering our perfection and health and love-able-ness we heal.
Or accept a healing.
Chicken or egg you pick.
Relief
Do we want relief or are we gluttons for punishment? I wonder? I am thinking the resistance gives us a bit of excitement. You know? "Treat him mean keep him keen"?
Or playing hard to get usually works in spiking interest unless it doesn't. I was never that complex although today I am certainly complicated in other ways.
So I am asking the question would life be as much fun without the set backs and drama?
Or do we really want a magic cure to everything that stands in our way?
Given the road map to "The kingdom" which every religion promises. Do we really want it?
Does it take away our journey, our adventure?
I am thinking it takes away from the fun...and how does one grow emotional muscles or find their inherent gifts if given no resistance?
I am thinking we need a path, a journey that we traverse on our "own" so to speak and when we arrive... having done so through various adventures, I think that is the prize.
Abraham says we never get it done...there will be stuff undone that we want to do.
.... will not be able to complete.
I can see that.
So I am thinking we are not very honest when we moan about our hardships because without them who would we be?
In other words I am thinking our life path is designed by "us" it's our show.
We don't want relief. We want more.
Or playing hard to get usually works in spiking interest unless it doesn't. I was never that complex although today I am certainly complicated in other ways.
So I am asking the question would life be as much fun without the set backs and drama?
Or do we really want a magic cure to everything that stands in our way?
Given the road map to "The kingdom" which every religion promises. Do we really want it?
Does it take away our journey, our adventure?
I am thinking it takes away from the fun...and how does one grow emotional muscles or find their inherent gifts if given no resistance?
I am thinking we need a path, a journey that we traverse on our "own" so to speak and when we arrive... having done so through various adventures, I think that is the prize.
Abraham says we never get it done...there will be stuff undone that we want to do.
.... will not be able to complete.
I can see that.
So I am thinking we are not very honest when we moan about our hardships because without them who would we be?
In other words I am thinking our life path is designed by "us" it's our show.
We don't want relief. We want more.
Grace
Walking in the woods this frigid morning I felt wretched. I was so sad and disillusioned and then try as I might felt not worse but I started to feel better. The words I know that can melt my resistance and heal my broken heart were there but it wasn't that. It was this interesting weird vision of a man in a wheelchair from Ireland who died recently who wrote books and who moved his nation and the world by his humanity. He was completely alive. Nothing stopped him from contributing. In the face of that how can anything get to me really?
So my beloved dog nudged me at the exact right moment/time to get up and out and off we went across the frigid fields into the woods. What started as a tear fest ended in minty clarity. I can and will and do what ever I need to. My job is to allow and listen and learn and keep going.
Then my BF who I must say touches my soul daily by his kindness said more encouraging words that I cannot imagine anything more sweet and supportive.
Grace...all of it grace.
Whose job is it to love me?
It's mine.
Whose job is it to understand what I am, what I can do, what I have to offer ...mine.
The rest is none of my business.
So my beloved dog nudged me at the exact right moment/time to get up and out and off we went across the frigid fields into the woods. What started as a tear fest ended in minty clarity. I can and will and do what ever I need to. My job is to allow and listen and learn and keep going.
Then my BF who I must say touches my soul daily by his kindness said more encouraging words that I cannot imagine anything more sweet and supportive.
Grace...all of it grace.
Whose job is it to love me?
It's mine.
Whose job is it to understand what I am, what I can do, what I have to offer ...mine.
The rest is none of my business.
Eros
The question is "How does one attain their wants without being too zealous?" It is so easy to be wordy when answering a question so without being too wordy: Firstly when I wonder or worry about my energy as in being potentially" Zealous" I know instantly that 1. I am fearful and 2. I am fearful.
When there is a centeredness there usually isn't a "forcing current", no fear.
Fear is the clue.
Ah but what about passion? I know there is deep passion for many things and that is a subtler vibration. When it's true passion there isn't anything that stops me from having it unless I am otherwise committed. If that is the case then I have to transcend it and lift it out of where it starts. Oh boy words.
So Latonia the question is, is this regarding work? There can never be enough for the "Craft" for what we do as expression. If this is toward another? Then it's similar in it's beauty but if it can't be expressed then the burden sits with you on lifting it up inside and transforming it, making it healthier for you.
It's all vibration and energy, healthy happy useful energy.
The story of what it is controls our experience. Is it all consuming ? Well enjoy it, let it take you to the upper atmospheres of life/living. You should be so lucky!
I think we have way too much control over ourselves and it isn't necessarily a good thing.
Passion gives us wings which we need. We need to be insane or mind awake to find the essence of our divinity.
Rumi poems outline this perfectly the late John O Donough's as well, ecstatic words that help shape what is the flame that is our souls divinity.
I think it is a force; GOD, LOVE, LIFE... passion. It should be experienced.
But the trick, the caveat is being able to recognize the difference between what is manic forcing current and what is love...that is the question?
The journey, all worthwhile and glorious.
There is no failure here.
When there is a centeredness there usually isn't a "forcing current", no fear.
Fear is the clue.
Ah but what about passion? I know there is deep passion for many things and that is a subtler vibration. When it's true passion there isn't anything that stops me from having it unless I am otherwise committed. If that is the case then I have to transcend it and lift it out of where it starts. Oh boy words.
So Latonia the question is, is this regarding work? There can never be enough for the "Craft" for what we do as expression. If this is toward another? Then it's similar in it's beauty but if it can't be expressed then the burden sits with you on lifting it up inside and transforming it, making it healthier for you.
It's all vibration and energy, healthy happy useful energy.
The story of what it is controls our experience. Is it all consuming ? Well enjoy it, let it take you to the upper atmospheres of life/living. You should be so lucky!
I think we have way too much control over ourselves and it isn't necessarily a good thing.
Passion gives us wings which we need. We need to be insane or mind awake to find the essence of our divinity.
Rumi poems outline this perfectly the late John O Donough's as well, ecstatic words that help shape what is the flame that is our souls divinity.
I think it is a force; GOD, LOVE, LIFE... passion. It should be experienced.
But the trick, the caveat is being able to recognize the difference between what is manic forcing current and what is love...that is the question?
The journey, all worthwhile and glorious.
There is no failure here.
Protection and other folly
Why do we think it is a good idea to be cautious with love? Never, no matter how we try does withholding love ever net an outcome that brings satisfaction. NEVER.
Still we hold ourselves back as if we are precious cargo that can be spoiled. As if not committing to the moment, the person, the event will somehow give us something to be proud of.
If we are honest it never does...nothing is farthest from helping us; to get LOVE, be loved and experience love then holding ourselves back.
The thing is though we have to give without any thought of getting anything back.
Just plain ol' "here I love you" or " here is a gesture to share this moment take it or not" or simply " I just love you."
We hold ourselves back for fear of being "hurt" when in fact the simple act of holding our selves back "hurts"
Go figure.
Still we hold ourselves back as if we are precious cargo that can be spoiled. As if not committing to the moment, the person, the event will somehow give us something to be proud of.
If we are honest it never does...nothing is farthest from helping us; to get LOVE, be loved and experience love then holding ourselves back.
The thing is though we have to give without any thought of getting anything back.
Just plain ol' "here I love you" or " here is a gesture to share this moment take it or not" or simply " I just love you."
We hold ourselves back for fear of being "hurt" when in fact the simple act of holding our selves back "hurts"
Go figure.
Fall
According to a recent study done on Lottery winners in Europe the financial windfall doesn't bring relief in fact the study showed it created strain and stresses normally unknown before in the winners life that lasts on average of three years. Every single winner rues the day they won and surprisingly miss their life before their luck happened. Every single winner from this study which was conducted over a ten year period.
I find that fascinating. Which brings me to the thought that we must appreciate our lives and the pace of our progress. It seems to me I have been harping on this lately and it's true I have, it is up for me.
We imagine that we would like relief or something, be it a lover, a job or an opportunity. that theses things will alter and bring relief? Does it? I am not so sure...
I think we need to step off and have a look at what we are grinding for and why? Maybe review our plans and reorganize and maybe alter our path.
Things fall into place if we get out of the way.
...so get out of the way.
I find that fascinating. Which brings me to the thought that we must appreciate our lives and the pace of our progress. It seems to me I have been harping on this lately and it's true I have, it is up for me.
We imagine that we would like relief or something, be it a lover, a job or an opportunity. that theses things will alter and bring relief? Does it? I am not so sure...
I think we need to step off and have a look at what we are grinding for and why? Maybe review our plans and reorganize and maybe alter our path.
Things fall into place if we get out of the way.
...so get out of the way.
Humble pie
It is not easy to lose at anything specially tennis. There is a visceral effect and I know it is a sign of character if one is a gracious or good loser. I am not a good loser (I fake it) although I lose at least 50% of the time. I lie, I am gracious but I am dying inside, so fussy. I admired Federer for crying after losing to Rafa (Australian open) and I understand the tears .
I know, you just get so cranky and wanna have a tantrum but you can't.
We played so so tennis and deserved the loss and it was tough to swallow since we can and should have won. Although the way we played it was the outcome we deserved.
Oh well...
Tough loss although it helped give us a heaping helping of humble pie. I know we have financial meltdowns and Aids is on the rise in the urban community and especially in the "Hood" what's up with that? Let's use condoms and clean needles and stop with the reckless blood exchanges folks. It is a matter of life and death and it pains me to know my community is getting nailed.
When faced with a small defeat (our tennis match) that isn't a blip on the map of the grand scheme of things, I feel sort of silly to be so fussy about the loss.
Buck up RDC and so I will.
I know, you just get so cranky and wanna have a tantrum but you can't.
We played so so tennis and deserved the loss and it was tough to swallow since we can and should have won. Although the way we played it was the outcome we deserved.
Oh well...
Tough loss although it helped give us a heaping helping of humble pie. I know we have financial meltdowns and Aids is on the rise in the urban community and especially in the "Hood" what's up with that? Let's use condoms and clean needles and stop with the reckless blood exchanges folks. It is a matter of life and death and it pains me to know my community is getting nailed.
When faced with a small defeat (our tennis match) that isn't a blip on the map of the grand scheme of things, I feel sort of silly to be so fussy about the loss.
Buck up RDC and so I will.
Spirits and the people mover
I dreamt about spirits last night, ghosts. They were inhabiting a large house that my family, all of us were living, each of us had a wing and inside the wings were differing spirits. It was interesting because they were not all nice ones. Some of the ghosts were quite malefic. My son had his own wing, I was very worried about him. His wing had the most virulent, evil spirits near him and I didn't like it. Yet powerless to help or relieve his stress. I was very frustrated I couldn't help more. Finally in the dream a teacher arrived who was taking us all away from this huge house to an ashram where we would have a break from the marauding ghosts.
I have never been to an Ashram (in real life) I fear I wouldn't like it much. I kind of hate being bossed around unless I am being paid a lot of money, then well boss away.
So in this dream a special transporter took all of us away. Plus we didn't have to sit properly in fact a chunk of our huge house moved with us like a people mover at Disney land.
Ah dreams, we should love how surreal they are. It must feed us good stuff I think.
I always dream of houses and living in them and I must confess there is always a sense of dis-ease. Like the place just isn't right. In my dreams.
Maybe it is from a childhood where we moved quite a bit from place to place. I don't know.
The spirits were cranky they wanted attention. I found myself praying in my sleep. I woke up with one going full speed.
I can't remember what I was praying to/why or how.
I think it was a "get the F*#K out of here kind of prayer.
Yikes.
I have never been to an Ashram (in real life) I fear I wouldn't like it much. I kind of hate being bossed around unless I am being paid a lot of money, then well boss away.
So in this dream a special transporter took all of us away. Plus we didn't have to sit properly in fact a chunk of our huge house moved with us like a people mover at Disney land.
Ah dreams, we should love how surreal they are. It must feed us good stuff I think.
I always dream of houses and living in them and I must confess there is always a sense of dis-ease. Like the place just isn't right. In my dreams.
Maybe it is from a childhood where we moved quite a bit from place to place. I don't know.
The spirits were cranky they wanted attention. I found myself praying in my sleep. I woke up with one going full speed.
I can't remember what I was praying to/why or how.
I think it was a "get the F*#K out of here kind of prayer.
Yikes.
Rub it in your hair
Years ago my friend Darren said this to me..."Rub it in your hair" describing what his mother had said to him. I think it describes a wonderous action when we like something. Immerse yourself start with the head. So yesterday when I suggested we write what we are like immersed in health , happiness and prosperity it was to immerse our awareness in it to the extent that we are saturated. We all have a fluency in what isn't working in our lives and we give serious short shift to what could be working instead.
I noticed so many people balked at homework and I apologize for taking this maybe too far although I still think it won't hurt to write at least 500 words everyday on the subject of each of us in deep prosperity.
I did the exercise and I think I will keep doing it until Easter. I am committing to dreaming and shaping my day to day life in a fantastic way.
How else is it going to happen?
I noticed so many people balked at homework and I apologize for taking this maybe too far although I still think it won't hurt to write at least 500 words everyday on the subject of each of us in deep prosperity.
I did the exercise and I think I will keep doing it until Easter. I am committing to dreaming and shaping my day to day life in a fantastic way.
How else is it going to happen?
It
Listening to the fire storm we are in regarding the AIG clusterf*#k. I noticed that the quiet voice of some is stronger and smarter then the guilty loud voices of others. I am referring to the man who yesterday on the Radio named the men who were heading up AIG for the last 40 years Harry Greenberg and a Richard Cox. I may have the last name wrong but an R Cox has something to do with the bonus/holding incentive pay that everyone is losing sleep over. Senator Chris Dodd is one of the loud guilty voices, barking defensive excuses since he was in charge of the initial proposal brought before the senate. He helped over see the writing, the language, the agreement we gave the company (AIG) and in it there was the glaring part about post bailout bonuses which he now says he tried to bring up and discuss but it wasn't priority, since the country was in the midst of going to hell in a hand basket, or something to that effect.
I am not in agreement of amending the constitution a big slippery slope and one we should avoid. I think we should ask for the money back and those that don't return it and leave the company anyway we should publicly shame or something to that effect this is the viral age.
On the other hand I was thinking about Laura Bush and her crusade to save the Burmese which is a noble cause but then thinking how subliminally she is sending a message to the people of America by her concern she was focusing on a country whose leadership was more malefic then her deadbeat husband and the murderous Cheney.
What a smart if unaware cookie. Still no matter how evil the Burmese leadership is and I think they are the planets worst. Her Husband ranks up there with being responsible for the possible devastation of America today and we are not out of the woods. We still could see complete failure.
We all make mistakes and we all want to succeed some with larger more altruistic goals others with selfish goals but we are all looking to succeed.
I want the President to succeed and I look forward to seeing the effects of his policy in the next ten years. I just think it's interesting how we seek to blame and punish when indeed we created this mess. We voted them in. We could have begun the change a hell of a lot sooner.
The true face of evil/crime /graft is no longer the poor inner city kid/man...it's a 55 plus white guy in a suit with a huge foreign bank account.
I am not in agreement of amending the constitution a big slippery slope and one we should avoid. I think we should ask for the money back and those that don't return it and leave the company anyway we should publicly shame or something to that effect this is the viral age.
On the other hand I was thinking about Laura Bush and her crusade to save the Burmese which is a noble cause but then thinking how subliminally she is sending a message to the people of America by her concern she was focusing on a country whose leadership was more malefic then her deadbeat husband and the murderous Cheney.
What a smart if unaware cookie. Still no matter how evil the Burmese leadership is and I think they are the planets worst. Her Husband ranks up there with being responsible for the possible devastation of America today and we are not out of the woods. We still could see complete failure.
We all make mistakes and we all want to succeed some with larger more altruistic goals others with selfish goals but we are all looking to succeed.
I want the President to succeed and I look forward to seeing the effects of his policy in the next ten years. I just think it's interesting how we seek to blame and punish when indeed we created this mess. We voted them in. We could have begun the change a hell of a lot sooner.
The true face of evil/crime /graft is no longer the poor inner city kid/man...it's a 55 plus white guy in a suit with a huge foreign bank account.
Collapse
We never seem to discuss on or in TV's news outlets what would happen if China called in our debts. We are just now discussing how the Obama budget is too big and yet it seems it is what is needed, yet no one wants to pass it though. The Congress needs more oversight. Everyone of us who is bankrupt or unemployed doesn't have a chance of getting TARP money and yet people are speaking about the necessity to help corporate America, I think our Corporate Centric culture is why we are in trouble as if our survival depends on it and yet our survival may be intertwined but in a way that cancerous. We are not a country that can sustain bad financial planning and it seems there are too many chefs in this kitchen and no one wants to admit they don't have a RECIPE.
They are banging pots on the stove and cutting hands and fingers and the blood is splattering everywhere and it's frightening.
We are collapsing or we have collapsed.
No one seems to notice and they keep talking like it won't happened and I am thinking... it's happened.
I think everyone of us needs to revisit Joesph Pulitzer who warned against corporate-centricity.
He may have been eccentric but he was on to something.
They are banging pots on the stove and cutting hands and fingers and the blood is splattering everywhere and it's frightening.
We are collapsing or we have collapsed.
No one seems to notice and they keep talking like it won't happened and I am thinking... it's happened.
I think everyone of us needs to revisit Joesph Pulitzer who warned against corporate-centricity.
He may have been eccentric but he was on to something.
Equinox
Change isn't easy to accept and integrate in the best of circumstances, what I notice about us as a species is we fight it when all is smooth sailing because we don't want to ruffle the waters. We resist it when the s*#t hits the fan because we're scared, so there really isn't an opening to change unless we are on our knees praying to the God we are not so sure exists as we face an uncertain future.
So we really never accept change unless we are caught in between states and are intelligent enough to recognize it's need. We are sort of kind of in this place I am speaking about now as a nation.
Right now as we watch the shenanigans in Washington unfold, we all do realize that every single one of them from our Prez on down has no idea if any of this is going to "work".
My thinking is that this is that moment where we are pretty awake to this fact and maybe can look sideways and below and above (not in a religious sense) but in a "Oh I never looked there before" sense.
Crack open some far-fetched but brilliant idea's that have not made it to the popular Zeitgeist.
So if anyone out there has any NEW idea's about what we can do to reorganize and reemploy and reboot our economy I am all ears.
So we really never accept change unless we are caught in between states and are intelligent enough to recognize it's need. We are sort of kind of in this place I am speaking about now as a nation.
Right now as we watch the shenanigans in Washington unfold, we all do realize that every single one of them from our Prez on down has no idea if any of this is going to "work".
My thinking is that this is that moment where we are pretty awake to this fact and maybe can look sideways and below and above (not in a religious sense) but in a "Oh I never looked there before" sense.
Crack open some far-fetched but brilliant idea's that have not made it to the popular Zeitgeist.
So if anyone out there has any NEW idea's about what we can do to reorganize and reemploy and reboot our economy I am all ears.
Later
In my family we were focused on fame from the beginning. My fathers fame and then my own. No one had much else on the brain everything was geared toward getting out there. Sadly it hampered some much needed academic study. Reading some of the posts yesterday it kind of answered a question I have about school. Do we need it? Does it make a difference and are we judged as less than when we do it differently and forgo higher education? I don't regret my upbringing and considering the outcome it has been a fantastic adventure. Still I listen to people and their stories and read about others and listen "Oh boy" do I listen. I hear people being judged as better simply because of their educational exposure.
Being an Autodidact my self it pains me no end when I am judged or something I am presenting is judged or considered less than because I am not hoisting my impressive education out and slapping folks with it. In fact my lack of education is almost more impressive than a PHD from Penn U.
Yet we do judge and we are mesmerized by the big colleges and degrees and I wonder if it isn't folly. Listen I helped put a child through an Ivy league College and I had moments of envy as I wrote those GIGANTIC checks.
No in my family we were/are hustlers, near buskers...we are entertainers, damn fine ones too...still.
I wonder
Being an Autodidact my self it pains me no end when I am judged or something I am presenting is judged or considered less than because I am not hoisting my impressive education out and slapping folks with it. In fact my lack of education is almost more impressive than a PHD from Penn U.
Yet we do judge and we are mesmerized by the big colleges and degrees and I wonder if it isn't folly. Listen I helped put a child through an Ivy league College and I had moments of envy as I wrote those GIGANTIC checks.
No in my family we were/are hustlers, near buskers...we are entertainers, damn fine ones too...still.
I wonder
What war?
It's not easy admitting failure. Yes it's healthy and honest and an energy saver when we do but it's challenging to admit we have failed. Here in America we have failed miserably with "The war on Drugs'.
For deep political, religious reasons maybe even skewed morals we as a country never really admit we have failed in this war. All of my life I have had a battle in my family regarding drugs and their place in our society. Today I don't do drugs and I think they get in the way of life and connecting and personally it's a distraction and I do think they can be harmful, very. Pot is not benign and it makes it hard to retain muscles that is why men who smoke a lot of it have man-boobs. Not sexy.YET I am of the thinking that it is a an un-win-able war one that costs everyone more money (billions) then is necessary.
Since we are truth seekers by human nature and we have an almost spiritual need to experience life outside the emotional. intellectual psychic, grid and one of the quickest ways to get "There" is with substances that are illegal in this country. So it looks like we need drugs and they are here to stay.
We will always have them and some how everyone who wants them regardless of their legality will find them, so why not join the tide and legalize? We could set up a registration system so you register as a user and pay accordingly. Throughout society.
There could be proper education regarding the effects etc...In America our conservative leadership has been spouting off about teenage abstinence yet today we have the highest rate of teen pregnancy of any country including third world. Bristol Palin being the poster child for the movement. Our conservative ideology has failed yet again.
Yes, they (teens) just say no in public but yes in private to everything, especially sex and drugs.
So instead of trying to fight the street thug dealer who are better armed and more dangerous then our police and agents we should turn the game on its head and make it legal and take it off the streets and out of the Cartels hands and create a legal industry cause god knows this country needs more industries.
Educate the masses create better programs better mental health facilities. We could funnel the drug money into health care and education and research. I promise the rate of users and the crime will plummet and the tax income will be very welcome.
I grew up around people telling me to use and it's fun and it's safe.Yet somehow I could find my way through and decide what works best for me. I think most of us when given a chance do the same, I say most I know there are some who can't say no because it's a neurological defect, or they are wired to use till death. Not everyone is that way and we only hear about them.
You don't need to be smart or special to say no thank you. As a society how would we know unless we try something different, radical, smart. We have been beaten, we have lost the war, the "Just say no to drugs" doesn't work.
There are countries with very easy laws regarding all of this (including Prostitution) and they seem to be thriving and they haven't turned in a steaming sex crazed drug addled nightmare and here in America where it is illegal we have become just that.
Everywhere in all of the Americas (North and South) people are killing each other and we are spending billions we don't have to fight a war we have lost.
Can't we get smart and do something better. Saying yes to legalizing it doesn't make it better or acceptable it just makes it easier to benefit from and it takes it out of the shadows.
Lets shed some light on it...it's a matter of life and death we can't afford to lose another war.
We can't.
For deep political, religious reasons maybe even skewed morals we as a country never really admit we have failed in this war. All of my life I have had a battle in my family regarding drugs and their place in our society. Today I don't do drugs and I think they get in the way of life and connecting and personally it's a distraction and I do think they can be harmful, very. Pot is not benign and it makes it hard to retain muscles that is why men who smoke a lot of it have man-boobs. Not sexy.YET I am of the thinking that it is a an un-win-able war one that costs everyone more money (billions) then is necessary.
Since we are truth seekers by human nature and we have an almost spiritual need to experience life outside the emotional. intellectual psychic, grid and one of the quickest ways to get "There" is with substances that are illegal in this country. So it looks like we need drugs and they are here to stay.
We will always have them and some how everyone who wants them regardless of their legality will find them, so why not join the tide and legalize? We could set up a registration system so you register as a user and pay accordingly. Throughout society.
There could be proper education regarding the effects etc...In America our conservative leadership has been spouting off about teenage abstinence yet today we have the highest rate of teen pregnancy of any country including third world. Bristol Palin being the poster child for the movement. Our conservative ideology has failed yet again.
Yes, they (teens) just say no in public but yes in private to everything, especially sex and drugs.
So instead of trying to fight the street thug dealer who are better armed and more dangerous then our police and agents we should turn the game on its head and make it legal and take it off the streets and out of the Cartels hands and create a legal industry cause god knows this country needs more industries.
Educate the masses create better programs better mental health facilities. We could funnel the drug money into health care and education and research. I promise the rate of users and the crime will plummet and the tax income will be very welcome.
I grew up around people telling me to use and it's fun and it's safe.Yet somehow I could find my way through and decide what works best for me. I think most of us when given a chance do the same, I say most I know there are some who can't say no because it's a neurological defect, or they are wired to use till death. Not everyone is that way and we only hear about them.
You don't need to be smart or special to say no thank you. As a society how would we know unless we try something different, radical, smart. We have been beaten, we have lost the war, the "Just say no to drugs" doesn't work.
There are countries with very easy laws regarding all of this (including Prostitution) and they seem to be thriving and they haven't turned in a steaming sex crazed drug addled nightmare and here in America where it is illegal we have become just that.
Everywhere in all of the Americas (North and South) people are killing each other and we are spending billions we don't have to fight a war we have lost.
Can't we get smart and do something better. Saying yes to legalizing it doesn't make it better or acceptable it just makes it easier to benefit from and it takes it out of the shadows.
Lets shed some light on it...it's a matter of life and death we can't afford to lose another war.
We can't.
Intelligence
Last night there was a documentary on Cephlapods (Humbolt squid) on television last night. It was fascinating because the squid live for only a year and are efficient killing machines. In fact they think they will eat anything that moves and if a human is unfortunate to meet a school of them it's bye bye. What struck me as interesting besides the fact that they change color instantly and have incredible biting capacity with something like 36000 razor sharp teeth is that can and do think deeply.
In fact the scientist described diving with them and how they came over to him and basically played with him. They caressed him and swam around him never once were they aggressive. What I noticed was his deep regard for them and how he actually loved them. So it didn't surprise me that when he swam with them they were benign. Meanwhile when another researcher who tended to shoot them alone or when they were being fished(very stressful) he had night mare stories and several times they tried to kill him.
In fact he thought that one of them watched as he got into a cage to film them, the researcher felt that one of the animals watched them lock him in the cage. As it went below the surface the squid tried to undo the latch, the lock. who knows but I think they look like aliens from another planet a higher intelligence we decided because it comes from the depths it is native but I am thinking maybe not.
There are USO's or unidentified submerged objects and Humbolt Squid are pretty amazing and they do seem highly intelligent they could come from another planet...okay too many viewings of the movie "The Abyss".
Then again we do tend to limit our respect for some animals(squids) and I think they do have a more complex way of communicating we can never understand because we are limited.
Now of course I have another scary looking thing to keep me on edge when I swim in the ocean as if sharks weren't enough...
In fact the scientist described diving with them and how they came over to him and basically played with him. They caressed him and swam around him never once were they aggressive. What I noticed was his deep regard for them and how he actually loved them. So it didn't surprise me that when he swam with them they were benign. Meanwhile when another researcher who tended to shoot them alone or when they were being fished(very stressful) he had night mare stories and several times they tried to kill him.
In fact he thought that one of them watched as he got into a cage to film them, the researcher felt that one of the animals watched them lock him in the cage. As it went below the surface the squid tried to undo the latch, the lock. who knows but I think they look like aliens from another planet a higher intelligence we decided because it comes from the depths it is native but I am thinking maybe not.
There are USO's or unidentified submerged objects and Humbolt Squid are pretty amazing and they do seem highly intelligent they could come from another planet...okay too many viewings of the movie "The Abyss".
Then again we do tend to limit our respect for some animals(squids) and I think they do have a more complex way of communicating we can never understand because we are limited.
Now of course I have another scary looking thing to keep me on edge when I swim in the ocean as if sharks weren't enough...
Doubt
In my circle we are split through the middle regarding who is right in the movie "Doubt". Is Meryl Streep's nun correct in thinking the Phillip Seymour Hoffman's character is guilty of pedophilia. Or is He innocent and just a friendly priest? The play and now movie doesn't set the record straight lively conversations happen because literally we split into the guilty not guilt groups. Mainly we are influenced by our own histories and that is what we see. What we have probably experienced. I have not been molested by a priest in this life that I can remember but I do believe in "Thin slicing" that quick assessment of a situation and I trust it and that once moment when the priest's passes his hand across a boys wrist and the child recoils and Streep's character witnesses it. That is enough for me too.
Reading this weeks issue of The Economist last night there is a disturbing piece in it about a nine year old who was repeatedly raped by her step father and she was given an abortion because she was pregnant with twins . The Catholic church has excommunicated the doctor who performed the abortion and the child and the mother of the child. Yet the offending rapist is still allowed to attend the church.
That and hearing the Pope say condom use in Africa is a sin. Is a SIN?.
When will we see the Vatican reduced to what it is, a giant state of twisted (old) men who hoard art and antiques who need to put it all up for auction.
Listen I read The Cloister walk and I know the church has some good eggs in it...some amazing things no doubt.
No doubt, no....in fact , Doubt.
Reading this weeks issue of The Economist last night there is a disturbing piece in it about a nine year old who was repeatedly raped by her step father and she was given an abortion because she was pregnant with twins . The Catholic church has excommunicated the doctor who performed the abortion and the child and the mother of the child. Yet the offending rapist is still allowed to attend the church.
That and hearing the Pope say condom use in Africa is a sin. Is a SIN?.
When will we see the Vatican reduced to what it is, a giant state of twisted (old) men who hoard art and antiques who need to put it all up for auction.
Listen I read The Cloister walk and I know the church has some good eggs in it...some amazing things no doubt.
No doubt, no....in fact , Doubt.
Singing , chanting, transference
It is almost impossible not to transfer, or project what we need onto people. We need Guru's whether it is an actual East Indian fellow or woman or the American equivalent which is our unbalanced adulation called celebrity worship. We need idols to project our highest good and to hope and pray they answer our needs.
As in the BIG NEED, since it is impossible to get those un-fullfilled needs met we then shift into contempt toward the very people, places and things that are supposed to serve us.
Ah... it is so interesting and the souls who agree to be idolized cannot help but fail us.
In fact it is grace when they do.
We cannot find our source our greatness "out there" it is inside. In our selves.
Ah so easy to write so difficult to live and experience.
Chanting and singing, and watching a "god show" last night I enjoyed it and I couldn't help but see the room full of need and longing, sweet longing.
I felt compassion and contempt equally. For the audience and for myself.
We are a lazy bunch and I think we don't want to look inside (our heart and souls) we want to look "outside" we want to hold "others accountable" and we want "them " to fix us/it.
And the rub or the key is to see our part and to integrate and release and ultimately forgive ourselves for all of it.
Whatever it is...
and then and only then do we walk in true strength.
When we say...yes, to life as sourced by us.
As in the BIG NEED, since it is impossible to get those un-fullfilled needs met we then shift into contempt toward the very people, places and things that are supposed to serve us.
Ah... it is so interesting and the souls who agree to be idolized cannot help but fail us.
In fact it is grace when they do.
We cannot find our source our greatness "out there" it is inside. In our selves.
Ah so easy to write so difficult to live and experience.
Chanting and singing, and watching a "god show" last night I enjoyed it and I couldn't help but see the room full of need and longing, sweet longing.
I felt compassion and contempt equally. For the audience and for myself.
We are a lazy bunch and I think we don't want to look inside (our heart and souls) we want to look "outside" we want to hold "others accountable" and we want "them " to fix us/it.
And the rub or the key is to see our part and to integrate and release and ultimately forgive ourselves for all of it.
Whatever it is...
and then and only then do we walk in true strength.
When we say...yes, to life as sourced by us.
Seymour Hirsh
Listening to Seymour Hirsch discussing his upcoming book on Cheney and how difficult and scary it has been investigating the man. How Cheney has layback staff (people who worked for him closely) in the White house and the defense department that report to him daily on this administration. How he is so powerful still and in fact there is nothing that will stick to him because EVERYONE who could do something is afraid of him.
Made me think that if anything happened to Obama I think I know where I'd look.
The man has/had a private special force that he controlled that was essentially a murder squad. Who did whatever he felt necessary covertly and it didn't report to Congress and how iinteresting they didn't find Osama but killed a lot of other people.
Cheney has serious control still.
We should be afraid, we should be very afraid.
If you can get online and look up Seymour Hirsch on NPR and have a listen.
Also when it comes out buy the book. He has an article regarding Syria called" Syria calling" in the New Yorker that sounds fascinating.
He is an expert on the middle East and all things Arab/Israel. He didn't say this... I did.
Go, look ,learn,listen about him and the issues.
What's up with Dick? Why can't we get RID of him???
Made me think that if anything happened to Obama I think I know where I'd look.
The man has/had a private special force that he controlled that was essentially a murder squad. Who did whatever he felt necessary covertly and it didn't report to Congress and how iinteresting they didn't find Osama but killed a lot of other people.
Cheney has serious control still.
We should be afraid, we should be very afraid.
If you can get online and look up Seymour Hirsch on NPR and have a listen.
Also when it comes out buy the book. He has an article regarding Syria called" Syria calling" in the New Yorker that sounds fascinating.
He is an expert on the middle East and all things Arab/Israel. He didn't say this... I did.
Go, look ,learn,listen about him and the issues.
What's up with Dick? Why can't we get RID of him???
Solutions
Every comment about anger and life and the golden rule along with our interconnectedness was welcome and true. It is important to cycle through emotions and feelings and hopefully in the safety of our homes away from harm, either causing it or being a victim to it. I still feel a wee bit helpless though when it comes to my life what to stand up for and change. Sure it is an inner adjustment. Change yourself before we can ask our world to change. I get it and yet...I don't.
I sometimes feel helpless with my own reality. I get almost "armless" I just lose a sense of how to get or make changes.
I know it is not unusual.
I guess we are not supposed to always have an answer.
In fact I am often suspect of people who always have a solution for things in life.
I just don't buy it...really.
I sometimes feel helpless with my own reality. I get almost "armless" I just lose a sense of how to get or make changes.
I know it is not unusual.
I guess we are not supposed to always have an answer.
In fact I am often suspect of people who always have a solution for things in life.
I just don't buy it...really.
Remotely paranoid
There was a man somewhere who has or had access to my computer for most of the day.
It was eery and creepy and made me think of big brother.
Glad I didn't have anything I didn't want him to see but it made me get the willies a bit.
Wow they can remotely take over the computer and yet they can't find Bin Ladin???
and
I am feeling sore and not quite in my body and a bit needy.
Exhausted, I want to just eat and sleep.
Hello? both, not a good combo!
Then I have to face up to things that are bugging me and have decided that I am not really having a great day.
...so what do I do?
It could be worse , way worse I know...I know!!!
I am sharing the pain , the process.
What do I know? Yes interestingly, not surprising I am not in the mood to write a note because I feel stretched and beyond the flow.
Oh sure I know this is part of the flow, I SAID I know!?!
LOL...and everything is mind but when we aren't feeling great any words of encouragement are annoying.
with a capital A.
Breath.
It was eery and creepy and made me think of big brother.
Glad I didn't have anything I didn't want him to see but it made me get the willies a bit.
Wow they can remotely take over the computer and yet they can't find Bin Ladin???
and
I am feeling sore and not quite in my body and a bit needy.
Exhausted, I want to just eat and sleep.
Hello? both, not a good combo!
Then I have to face up to things that are bugging me and have decided that I am not really having a great day.
...so what do I do?
It could be worse , way worse I know...I know!!!
I am sharing the pain , the process.
What do I know? Yes interestingly, not surprising I am not in the mood to write a note because I feel stretched and beyond the flow.
Oh sure I know this is part of the flow, I SAID I know!?!
LOL...and everything is mind but when we aren't feeling great any words of encouragement are annoying.
with a capital A.
Breath.
Scrimping the lost art!
It started with a book about a missionary family stuck in the Congo. How the local children wore the same clothes everyday until they shredded off their bodies. I loved the idea of that simplicity of having to just play and then swim to clean them and play again and sleep and swim to clean until they were impossible to wear. No worrying about does this go with that or any of that weird business.
Then my dear friend confessed to having saved his job by scrimping (enough to have two years of support) to use his phrase he said he was a "Scrimping Jew". I am so jealous I want that gene. I want to be "the scrimping type". I am not. Then just this morning I read about sisters in Wisconsin who scrimped and saved and wore old mismatched clothing and were very careful with their cash.
I love that they mentioned they wore old mismatched clothing. They died leaving millions to their Alma Mater.
I think we place far too much value or cool on new stuff. We place way too much value on trendy clothing. I wear approximately 6 pieces of clothing regularly and if I am honest there are piles of t-shirts and trousers I never put on. Let alone dresses and shorts ,skirts stuff.
I know I have enough clothes for ten of me.
Shoes too...I stopped being to the minute chic when money wasn't as available.
Still...I want to be better at saving and I like the idea of mismatched clothes.
It just sounds right!
Then my dear friend confessed to having saved his job by scrimping (enough to have two years of support) to use his phrase he said he was a "Scrimping Jew". I am so jealous I want that gene. I want to be "the scrimping type". I am not. Then just this morning I read about sisters in Wisconsin who scrimped and saved and wore old mismatched clothing and were very careful with their cash.
I love that they mentioned they wore old mismatched clothing. They died leaving millions to their Alma Mater.
I think we place far too much value or cool on new stuff. We place way too much value on trendy clothing. I wear approximately 6 pieces of clothing regularly and if I am honest there are piles of t-shirts and trousers I never put on. Let alone dresses and shorts ,skirts stuff.
I know I have enough clothes for ten of me.
Shoes too...I stopped being to the minute chic when money wasn't as available.
Still...I want to be better at saving and I like the idea of mismatched clothes.
It just sounds right!
Surviving the unthinkable
When we made "Constellation " in Alabama I was recruited to help with a local cause. It was a group that dealt with surviving family of victims of homicide. A core agency that gave free counseling and money and support to the survivors of such a horrific thing. There are many people who get left and it is devasting. So while we were in town I was working weekends and days off talking to folks in the surrounding area getting them to donate money because the program did not get federal funding and it was needed.
I hugged a lot of very sad people it changed my life.
I learned a lot about grief and death, I have had an interest in death and dying all my life and have felt we give the event almost ass backwward attention.
No one wants to die a violent death and certainly it can't be fun. Yet we do die, every single one of us. I think we need a lot more attention in the good sense toward the event.
Also, it is okay to discuss it. To talk about it, to indulge, ask questions, talk about the fears and to be held in it...why are we as a culture so quick to recover.
Sadness is essential and our souls need time to remember the dead.
Meanwhile this weekend someone I had met (once or twice) was murdered jogging in the middle of the day this past Friday in lovely Vancouver B.C.
She was beaten to death. She was a prominent local figure from a prominant family and she was caucasian so the press on this is enormous.
Versus the everyday deaths of the local native woman who are drug addicted and happen to be prostitutes who get whacked...little to no press.
The bad thing is obvious it isn't good to murder or be murdered. The up side of this is that that park will be a lot safer then it is now because a daughter of the city has been slain.
Stuff shifts for good when "cherished" ones die...Especially prominant daughters of a city.
Okay I am bringing up too many issues here, race , murder injustices all around.
It is a death and a tragic one.
Yes, everyday someone is murdered everywhere and it isn't pretty , good or nice.
I am sad for these people and I am sad for all of us who meet untimely ends.
To Michel and his girls...condolences.
I hugged a lot of very sad people it changed my life.
I learned a lot about grief and death, I have had an interest in death and dying all my life and have felt we give the event almost ass backwward attention.
No one wants to die a violent death and certainly it can't be fun. Yet we do die, every single one of us. I think we need a lot more attention in the good sense toward the event.
Also, it is okay to discuss it. To talk about it, to indulge, ask questions, talk about the fears and to be held in it...why are we as a culture so quick to recover.
Sadness is essential and our souls need time to remember the dead.
Meanwhile this weekend someone I had met (once or twice) was murdered jogging in the middle of the day this past Friday in lovely Vancouver B.C.
She was beaten to death. She was a prominent local figure from a prominant family and she was caucasian so the press on this is enormous.
Versus the everyday deaths of the local native woman who are drug addicted and happen to be prostitutes who get whacked...little to no press.
The bad thing is obvious it isn't good to murder or be murdered. The up side of this is that that park will be a lot safer then it is now because a daughter of the city has been slain.
Stuff shifts for good when "cherished" ones die...Especially prominant daughters of a city.
Okay I am bringing up too many issues here, race , murder injustices all around.
It is a death and a tragic one.
Yes, everyday someone is murdered everywhere and it isn't pretty , good or nice.
I am sad for these people and I am sad for all of us who meet untimely ends.
To Michel and his girls...condolences.
Soothsaying
Micheal Moore had a small segment of one of his films where he pointed out how the news media focuses on making the face of crime the Afro American man. Prisons are full of us. The system is geared to not help and overall anything to do with ethnic survival has a tendency to be illegal. Yes, I am referring to what Chris Rock calls the "Brown " peoples drugs. Meanwhile the White mans drugs are all legal and just as destructive and addictive and god knows what else the doctor prescribed medicine that we are given can do to a healthy body. Meanwhile these days the most heinous criminals all wear suits and make 8 figure salaries and make policy and control Washington. Their leader/s work in Congress or at least influence them.
My, my we have become a nation of abused citizenry. Not to mention the useless entrenched media that owes it's existence to corporations that are raping us...every minute of everyday.
Okay I may be going a bit overboard here.
So it is guarenteed that we are NOT getting the real stories.
Only Public radio and I am beginning to worry about it's integrity.
We are a nation under seige.
SD has been screaming at us here(on this thread) to wake up and smell the BS!
I just get sad and I shake my head and I ask how are we going to find our balance?
How are we going to become a nation of hope, prosperity again?
we are so F#@cked!
North Korea is testing us to see what BS we can fling their way.
Afghanistan will be our demise unless we pull out and I mean pronto.
It is famous Afghanistan for being a country that undoes its powerful enemies.
It's beyond comprehension and yet is it?
Even Alexander the Great failed there. He gave a pretty good sacking , but he cut his losses and bailed.
And us? Today?
The Russians are laughing at us as we beg for help in Europe.
GET OUT of there and run...leave UN peace keepers for the citizens and lets concentrate on domestic issues.
PLEASE?!?
My, my we have become a nation of abused citizenry. Not to mention the useless entrenched media that owes it's existence to corporations that are raping us...every minute of everyday.
Okay I may be going a bit overboard here.
So it is guarenteed that we are NOT getting the real stories.
Only Public radio and I am beginning to worry about it's integrity.
We are a nation under seige.
SD has been screaming at us here(on this thread) to wake up and smell the BS!
I just get sad and I shake my head and I ask how are we going to find our balance?
How are we going to become a nation of hope, prosperity again?
we are so F#@cked!
North Korea is testing us to see what BS we can fling their way.
Afghanistan will be our demise unless we pull out and I mean pronto.
It is famous Afghanistan for being a country that undoes its powerful enemies.
It's beyond comprehension and yet is it?
Even Alexander the Great failed there. He gave a pretty good sacking , but he cut his losses and bailed.
And us? Today?
The Russians are laughing at us as we beg for help in Europe.
GET OUT of there and run...leave UN peace keepers for the citizens and lets concentrate on domestic issues.
PLEASE?!?
Ounce
"An ounce of practice is better then a ton of preaching". I love that quote, from Gandhi.
There is a commitment to life we make that isn't easy. Poets call it "the dark night of the soul" the moment when we decide to commit to truth, our truth and to go the distance and face what ever appears with love and an openness. Not easy. In fact the path is narrow. The more we know the easier it is to BS ourselves into thinking we are close or "There".
In fact recently I had a revelation that when we feel like experts or smug with experience it is the sign that we are "last" in the race....if there is a race.
I had to do something I thought I was pretty good at and when I reveiwed the material later it was so bad...seriously. OMG it was bad. I laughed and got very humble because we are always needing to be better, fresher , more connected. This is true of life and love and everyday awareness.
Are you up yet? Are you alive with energy, love, inquiry?
Do you feel like an expert.
Do you get it? No?
Good.
I know for me...my path is tough , solo and full of hazards.
I promise that by the time it is over I will not have done nearly half the things I wanted.
Does it matter?
No...did I have fun?
Yes.
...beginner?
There is a commitment to life we make that isn't easy. Poets call it "the dark night of the soul" the moment when we decide to commit to truth, our truth and to go the distance and face what ever appears with love and an openness. Not easy. In fact the path is narrow. The more we know the easier it is to BS ourselves into thinking we are close or "There".
In fact recently I had a revelation that when we feel like experts or smug with experience it is the sign that we are "last" in the race....if there is a race.
I had to do something I thought I was pretty good at and when I reveiwed the material later it was so bad...seriously. OMG it was bad. I laughed and got very humble because we are always needing to be better, fresher , more connected. This is true of life and love and everyday awareness.
Are you up yet? Are you alive with energy, love, inquiry?
Do you feel like an expert.
Do you get it? No?
Good.
I know for me...my path is tough , solo and full of hazards.
I promise that by the time it is over I will not have done nearly half the things I wanted.
Does it matter?
No...did I have fun?
Yes.
...beginner?
Buggy
The FB page aside from being new and I must confess I miss the old one, it feels full of weird bugs. Soon I am moving to a more personal blog site a page where it can be a little less buggy so I hope.
Have anyone else been feeling infected with slowness. Could be the dreaded worm? I have been using my anti virus program on overtime.
I guess it is the Universe pushing me to get going on putting up the new site. I was reveiwing some of the past postings/notes. One thing stands out, it struck me that it is important in relationships to be as open and honest and real as possible anything less isn't provocative enough to sustain interest. Notice that?
I do...so when having social intercourse it is imperative we be as real as possible, hmmm maybe I am putting to much pressure on us?
Maybe.
It's tough I know we have idea's about how we need to act etc...I wonder is it important that people listen to us? believe in what we believe? I don't think so.
It is important we drink our own kool aid and that is it...I have a friend who is a spiritual guide a teacher and she is full of intricate neurotic ticks personality ticks. It's really difficult to hang with her sometimes because she is so afraid. I find it ironic that she teaches faith and trust and helps people to heal but she is frightened all of the time especially when traveling.
It's almost comedic...so what does it tell me?
It tells me that we are the only patients we can help.
Our story.
Yes, folks help others but truly they are only really helping themselves, okay maybe some people are great teachers.
I have not found a truly great teacher yet on this planet , you know, a perfect spiritual guide...who is flawless. NOT ONE and I am looking.
Does it bug me? Sometimes and then again maybe life wouldn't be as exciting if there was a real true spiritual person on the planet.
Not Mother Teresa ...Dalai Lama no.
I will keep looking and I will let you know when I have found them/him/her/it!
Have anyone else been feeling infected with slowness. Could be the dreaded worm? I have been using my anti virus program on overtime.
I guess it is the Universe pushing me to get going on putting up the new site. I was reveiwing some of the past postings/notes. One thing stands out, it struck me that it is important in relationships to be as open and honest and real as possible anything less isn't provocative enough to sustain interest. Notice that?
I do...so when having social intercourse it is imperative we be as real as possible, hmmm maybe I am putting to much pressure on us?
Maybe.
It's tough I know we have idea's about how we need to act etc...I wonder is it important that people listen to us? believe in what we believe? I don't think so.
It is important we drink our own kool aid and that is it...I have a friend who is a spiritual guide a teacher and she is full of intricate neurotic ticks personality ticks. It's really difficult to hang with her sometimes because she is so afraid. I find it ironic that she teaches faith and trust and helps people to heal but she is frightened all of the time especially when traveling.
It's almost comedic...so what does it tell me?
It tells me that we are the only patients we can help.
Our story.
Yes, folks help others but truly they are only really helping themselves, okay maybe some people are great teachers.
I have not found a truly great teacher yet on this planet , you know, a perfect spiritual guide...who is flawless. NOT ONE and I am looking.
Does it bug me? Sometimes and then again maybe life wouldn't be as exciting if there was a real true spiritual person on the planet.
Not Mother Teresa ...Dalai Lama no.
I will keep looking and I will let you know when I have found them/him/her/it!
7000
Iran has over 7 thousand centrifuges (triggers) for bombs and all they want is a little respect.
North Korea has a weirdo dictator and a big missile program all they want is a little respect.
Hamas is made up of doctors, Physicists and scientists and all they want is a little respect.
The Somalia pirates want bread and the ability to feed themselves and their families and all they want is a little respect.
The world over people are crying for a place in the BIG picrture...
We (US) keep policing the World and causing as much harm as so called good and all we want is respect.
I find it fascinating that every beef globally boils down to THAT!
Respect!
Happy Easter may all of your dreams resurrect, and may you find respect.
xo
North Korea has a weirdo dictator and a big missile program all they want is a little respect.
Hamas is made up of doctors, Physicists and scientists and all they want is a little respect.
The Somalia pirates want bread and the ability to feed themselves and their families and all they want is a little respect.
The world over people are crying for a place in the BIG picrture...
We (US) keep policing the World and causing as much harm as so called good and all we want is respect.
I find it fascinating that every beef globally boils down to THAT!
Respect!
Happy Easter may all of your dreams resurrect, and may you find respect.
xo
Loveless
I am not a fan of Courtney Love but I get sad when people pick on her because it feels anti female as well as maybe opinion. I know she is complicated but I feel offended when people get misogynist especially with easy targets like Ms. Love. The thing I find that is brilliant and there is a chunk of brilliance with her(she's not all rotten) is her "out there ness" .
I know she is an attention hound and damaged but I admire her ability to blow turns with her outrageousness. It's admirable. Meanwhile I think Billy Bob Thorton is a loser. My Father thought it was funny he called Canadians "Potatoes without gravy" I don't understand that? I think the French Canadians make the best gravy. I just don't get it. He seems to be a bit unbalanced (BBT and maybe my dad too) and it's obvious from the press he did when married to Angelina and today with this last interveiw. He's a head case and honestly I think like all wanna be's his music is so so...I don't like anything about him. His BFF Danial Lanois once sat at my table and proceeded to dis Courtney Love and after watching the interview with BBT I don't think he has grounds for making fun of Ms. Love.Mr. Lanois or BBT.
I have never seen her do to another what BBT did to that interveiwer. Ever...so I think we are far too comfortable with putting woman who are powerful down and rubbing them into the ground. Here is a prime example of a guy who is an asshole who will continue to make movies (okay shitty ones) and will work and be considered viable in Hollywood and he's a pig, okay that may be too strong. He's a psycho.
It's not fair...I know, life isn't fair.
I get it!
I know she is an attention hound and damaged but I admire her ability to blow turns with her outrageousness. It's admirable. Meanwhile I think Billy Bob Thorton is a loser. My Father thought it was funny he called Canadians "Potatoes without gravy" I don't understand that? I think the French Canadians make the best gravy. I just don't get it. He seems to be a bit unbalanced (BBT and maybe my dad too) and it's obvious from the press he did when married to Angelina and today with this last interveiw. He's a head case and honestly I think like all wanna be's his music is so so...I don't like anything about him. His BFF Danial Lanois once sat at my table and proceeded to dis Courtney Love and after watching the interview with BBT I don't think he has grounds for making fun of Ms. Love.Mr. Lanois or BBT.
I have never seen her do to another what BBT did to that interveiwer. Ever...so I think we are far too comfortable with putting woman who are powerful down and rubbing them into the ground. Here is a prime example of a guy who is an asshole who will continue to make movies (okay shitty ones) and will work and be considered viable in Hollywood and he's a pig, okay that may be too strong. He's a psycho.
It's not fair...I know, life isn't fair.
I get it!
The true tea party
This tax day stuff is interesting but sort of misguided. I know about a tea; Auyahuasca is a potent plant that prepared and taken with care can open up the soul to amazing insight. It heals if done in a safe caring correct environment. If given the chance to experience "The Tea" I highly reccomend it. Problem is it's hard to find leaders of intergrity here in the states who are not solely movtivated by cash. So be careful don't agree to partake with just anyone. Be cautious. I suppose it is the same with everything be cautious. I find it trciky in life how we must navigate with an open heart and yet be cautious and wise and practice common sense.
I know people who will not trust until proven safe. I tend to go in trusting till I get hurt or whatever, I am not certain it is the better way.
I am a bit sad by the conservative out cry against Obama and his team. I know spending is a problem and our currency is about to really suffer. I just think it is funny how so many voted in the "axis of evil "for 8 years and finally when we have an opportunity to correct the mess it is demanded of this administration to have it correccted in no time flat, its weird and unfair.
Every conservative I listen to on the radio has amnesia when it comes to the last 8 years. I rarely hear them cop to the fact that put the greedy men in office in the first place who have done so much damage.
Thank goodness for the likes of George Will he seem capable of admitting and outlining the problems and guilt of the past as well as wanting to give Obama a chance.
There are voices of reason who are not full of BS!
Grace.
I know people who will not trust until proven safe. I tend to go in trusting till I get hurt or whatever, I am not certain it is the better way.
I am a bit sad by the conservative out cry against Obama and his team. I know spending is a problem and our currency is about to really suffer. I just think it is funny how so many voted in the "axis of evil "for 8 years and finally when we have an opportunity to correct the mess it is demanded of this administration to have it correccted in no time flat, its weird and unfair.
Every conservative I listen to on the radio has amnesia when it comes to the last 8 years. I rarely hear them cop to the fact that put the greedy men in office in the first place who have done so much damage.
Thank goodness for the likes of George Will he seem capable of admitting and outlining the problems and guilt of the past as well as wanting to give Obama a chance.
There are voices of reason who are not full of BS!
Grace.
Leonard Cohen
My sister called raving about his latest tour. she thinks it is the best concert she has ever seen , ever! That is a big statement considering she has had the greatest tickets to the most amazing events. I am stoked that the senior minister of poetry and swagger is doing a tour. I love his work and think his singing has improved it now matches the poems and the melodies in the exact perfect way...imperfectly.
What a great lesson...who would have thought that a 75 year old could sell out concert halls all over the globe? A man who spent almost a decade in isolation only to discover he was penniless who by necessity had to share his bounty his soul, through his choice of communictaion song and poems and just beinghood in order to suvive and finds out he is flourishing...he is richer in every way. Thank goodness for the contrast.
It works...she says that after 3 hours of music he walks off stage and out of the theatre, like the angel that he has become he evaporates.
No backstage flesh pressing , gone.
I dig that...the monk in a fedora moving us to the core of our being then whisking off into that good night, every night.
Ahhhhhhh!
What a great lesson...who would have thought that a 75 year old could sell out concert halls all over the globe? A man who spent almost a decade in isolation only to discover he was penniless who by necessity had to share his bounty his soul, through his choice of communictaion song and poems and just beinghood in order to suvive and finds out he is flourishing...he is richer in every way. Thank goodness for the contrast.
It works...she says that after 3 hours of music he walks off stage and out of the theatre, like the angel that he has become he evaporates.
No backstage flesh pressing , gone.
I dig that...the monk in a fedora moving us to the core of our being then whisking off into that good night, every night.
Ahhhhhhh!
Redemption
My son sent me a photo of a sculpture that hangs outside Dachau the concentration camp. It is beautiful if intertwined skeletal figures are beautiful. It is at once sad and makes me angry. Last night I happened to catch the History channels special on the KKK and it too breaks my heart the sinister systemic way that group for 135 years terrorized this country and all African Americans , my relations suffered deeply at the hands of the KKK and I still think we suffer from racial set backs of Jim Crow and the societal unequalities weirdly I think Ruperty Murdock is a grand wizard of racism. I truly believe he has it in for anything other then Anglo's. I know he is married to an Asian but since when has marriage meant tolerance?
He has manipulated media so that it is skewed toward all things white .
Just take a look.
Now I am not one to harp on hardships and "the poor us" saga but folks take a look at the history of the KKK and the unprcedented abuse and murder; 80% of which went unpunished.
A Shamelful stain on the elite ruling class of this country. The KKK where strongest in the 20's till the early 70's so no wonder we sat back and let the Jews fry. I often wondered why we didn't do more to help over there sooner. Then you find out many senators and congress men were Klan by association if not direct affiliation.
Tragic and so wrong...it feels weird that more hasn't been done to correct the abuse and murder? I know there is a movement to correct some of the sins.
I still can't believe that criminals of the last administration seem to be getting away with everything they did that was wrong, every law they broke.
So silly me (I guess) to be surprised more hasn't been made of how we as a group of people where held down for decades...consciously, on purpose.
Imagine that, I was once one of those that said "Oh get over it" but it is too difficult and bloody and tragic to turn a blind eye to the lost years of productivity our race has suffered. Over a hundred years or so...of outright aggression.
I get teary thinking about what we as a group could have achieved if we were treated as equal citizens when we legally gained that right in the nineteenth century.
We need to think about this again...something more needs to be done.
I just feel that it is wrong to just forget.
I don't want to.
He has manipulated media so that it is skewed toward all things white .
Just take a look.
Now I am not one to harp on hardships and "the poor us" saga but folks take a look at the history of the KKK and the unprcedented abuse and murder; 80% of which went unpunished.
A Shamelful stain on the elite ruling class of this country. The KKK where strongest in the 20's till the early 70's so no wonder we sat back and let the Jews fry. I often wondered why we didn't do more to help over there sooner. Then you find out many senators and congress men were Klan by association if not direct affiliation.
Tragic and so wrong...it feels weird that more hasn't been done to correct the abuse and murder? I know there is a movement to correct some of the sins.
I still can't believe that criminals of the last administration seem to be getting away with everything they did that was wrong, every law they broke.
So silly me (I guess) to be surprised more hasn't been made of how we as a group of people where held down for decades...consciously, on purpose.
Imagine that, I was once one of those that said "Oh get over it" but it is too difficult and bloody and tragic to turn a blind eye to the lost years of productivity our race has suffered. Over a hundred years or so...of outright aggression.
I get teary thinking about what we as a group could have achieved if we were treated as equal citizens when we legally gained that right in the nineteenth century.
We need to think about this again...something more needs to be done.
I just feel that it is wrong to just forget.
I don't want to.
The source
unsafe and unloved. Now I know most dictators have forsaken love for power and that fear is the Aphrodesiac of corruption still I could not help but trace the terror in the Sudan directly to our good fortune here in the
West.
That our gas needs have promoted so much death destruction to people whose only crime is bad location. The Dinka or what ever the tribes people are called in sub Sahara, there are most likely more then one tribe they were dwelling on land that is tageted for oil drilling right?
I can trace the destruction of my ancestors in America to Oklahoma oil and the KKK.
Makes me think we should rethink our values...big time.
if there wasn't a need for conspicuous consumption all over the planet thanks to media touting it's virtue we wouldn't have so much misery.
I think the idea of having life lived as outlined in the Venus project is scary because it opens us up to the big vacancy we have in our emotional contact between each other. The VOID in the West we suffer from in terms of intimate contact that isn't sexual. Because we are too busy accumulating STUFF and competing while we do this.
Making contact , or real relating doesn't happen or becomes difficult no wonder we have so much obesity.
We are a sad group of people in The WEST drowning in our stuff and yet we again fancy that we are wealthy.
In stuff maybe but love I wonder.
It isn't too late to over throw the skewed emphasis on things and status rather the family, friends and core real life value.
Moments.
We could have it taught in school in preschool. How to be loving and human with it being sexual or inappropriate.
West.
That our gas needs have promoted so much death destruction to people whose only crime is bad location. The Dinka or what ever the tribes people are called in sub Sahara, there are most likely more then one tribe they were dwelling on land that is tageted for oil drilling right?
I can trace the destruction of my ancestors in America to Oklahoma oil and the KKK.
Makes me think we should rethink our values...big time.
if there wasn't a need for conspicuous consumption all over the planet thanks to media touting it's virtue we wouldn't have so much misery.
I think the idea of having life lived as outlined in the Venus project is scary because it opens us up to the big vacancy we have in our emotional contact between each other. The VOID in the West we suffer from in terms of intimate contact that isn't sexual. Because we are too busy accumulating STUFF and competing while we do this.
Making contact , or real relating doesn't happen or becomes difficult no wonder we have so much obesity.
We are a sad group of people in The WEST drowning in our stuff and yet we again fancy that we are wealthy.
In stuff maybe but love I wonder.
It isn't too late to over throw the skewed emphasis on things and status rather the family, friends and core real life value.
Moments.
We could have it taught in school in preschool. How to be loving and human with it being sexual or inappropriate.
Cleaning fluids and other necesseties
I am appalled by my selfishness. I will scrub my house clean with standard products Pinesol etc...and I am irresponsible to the effect it will have on the ground waters once it goes down the drain. I want to be a good Earthling and care for Mother earth but I don't do everything I can. I waste no doubt and I consume and I use chemicals that hurt the planet. It is bad...I know.
So I am going to make a better effort to be thoughtful and use only earth friendly products and no draino or whatever toxic BS I use unthinkingly. I am hurting my own future by being a pollutor.
It is easy to be unthinking...it's scary the amount we justify it because we have not seen a study showing us that indeed these seemingly harmless everyday chemicals we use even toothpaste are pollutors of the worst kind.
We need clean water, the animals need clean water and yet...it kills me when I see so much industry parked on our beloved shores.
Oh boy.
We are in for it and the sooner we clean up our cleaning act the better.
You know I notcie that there are less men who seem manly in film and in the world, or society in general. If we are honest and lets be for a minute there seem to be many children being born who are not clearly defined as one sex or another.
As if there is a hormonal inbalance, well there is and it's enormous and affecting our population.
Notice in film how the most masculine men are never from America? They are almost always from away Canada , Australia?
It is the enviromental pollution. When our human bodies are inundated by chemicals and there are over tens of thousands of them released in out atmosphere we creat estrogens...hence an over production in woman creates breast cancers and in men they become more feminine. In a bad way.
We are needing to reexamine the home and how we live in it.
we need to police industry in general.
The rate of Autism is sky high...and look at our children a lot more are gender confused and it's biology.
Like 6 legged frogs we are affected by the onslaught of the industrial chemical effulgence.
Ewwwww.
So I am going to make a better effort to be thoughtful and use only earth friendly products and no draino or whatever toxic BS I use unthinkingly. I am hurting my own future by being a pollutor.
It is easy to be unthinking...it's scary the amount we justify it because we have not seen a study showing us that indeed these seemingly harmless everyday chemicals we use even toothpaste are pollutors of the worst kind.
We need clean water, the animals need clean water and yet...it kills me when I see so much industry parked on our beloved shores.
Oh boy.
We are in for it and the sooner we clean up our cleaning act the better.
You know I notcie that there are less men who seem manly in film and in the world, or society in general. If we are honest and lets be for a minute there seem to be many children being born who are not clearly defined as one sex or another.
As if there is a hormonal inbalance, well there is and it's enormous and affecting our population.
Notice in film how the most masculine men are never from America? They are almost always from away Canada , Australia?
It is the enviromental pollution. When our human bodies are inundated by chemicals and there are over tens of thousands of them released in out atmosphere we creat estrogens...hence an over production in woman creates breast cancers and in men they become more feminine. In a bad way.
We are needing to reexamine the home and how we live in it.
we need to police industry in general.
The rate of Autism is sky high...and look at our children a lot more are gender confused and it's biology.
Like 6 legged frogs we are affected by the onslaught of the industrial chemical effulgence.
Ewwwww.
Media news and other woefulness
A FB from Delray Florida has asked me what I think about Nancy Grace he feels she is shameful because she has made a living off the Tot murdering mom and family. I have watched it as I channel surfed and then become bored within five minutes because it is repetitive. It made me smile reading the question because just last night I was reading about Rush Limbaugh and his billion dollar life style and salary and marveling that if there is an audience (for his hateful rhetoric) and there is, these people eat Nancy Grace up too, CNN and Fox news, crap, the same ol stuff responsible for dumbing down America, then yes we deserve the trash we get. We who want the drug of sensless television or media consume it. How many people do you know actually read non fiction? Many people consider reading fiction as enough....and in some cases it is I suppose but we need to read and continue to be engaged globally. I think the laziness of Sarah Palin represents the common malaise of the upper middle class and the wealthy that we have a lot so why rock the boat. We have ours and they can all suffer and if I am unaware of anyone elses suffering then it's almost like under class suffering doesn't exist. I am putting words in the mouth of those other folks...I am sure it's a lot simpler their thinking.
Still when she couldn't answer the question about what papers she reads, we knew as a nation we were in serious trouble. I am certain Mr.Bush was the same, deeply lazy when it came to being informed globally, obviously. Now another yahoo, Sen Boehm (R)from N. Carolina could NOT answer simple questions about what the republicans would do if they were in charge of administration "what is their plan for America". He couldn't say one concrete idea or strategy but he could complain about this administration for doing everything they set out to do.
Corporations control most of our news outlets and so the best coverage isn't on the big networks or in reality it isn't even produced as legit news.
One of my fave news sources for an intelligent perspective is Jon Stewart along with the BBC and reading The economist and Democracy now.
...although I will watch a little Keeping up with the Kardashians just to balance things . I am obessesed with that family and how shallow they are reminds me of my child hood in Hollywood.
A valley girls walk through memory lane.
Then there is George Stephanopoulous and Bill Moyers and we watch Pbs News Hour with Jim Leherer
These I highly recommend.
The rest I treat like candy...bad for me but sometimes irresistible because it's so dumb.
Still when she couldn't answer the question about what papers she reads, we knew as a nation we were in serious trouble. I am certain Mr.Bush was the same, deeply lazy when it came to being informed globally, obviously. Now another yahoo, Sen Boehm (R)from N. Carolina could NOT answer simple questions about what the republicans would do if they were in charge of administration "what is their plan for America". He couldn't say one concrete idea or strategy but he could complain about this administration for doing everything they set out to do.
Corporations control most of our news outlets and so the best coverage isn't on the big networks or in reality it isn't even produced as legit news.
One of my fave news sources for an intelligent perspective is Jon Stewart along with the BBC and reading The economist and Democracy now.
...although I will watch a little Keeping up with the Kardashians just to balance things . I am obessesed with that family and how shallow they are reminds me of my child hood in Hollywood.
A valley girls walk through memory lane.
Then there is George Stephanopoulous and Bill Moyers and we watch Pbs News Hour with Jim Leherer
These I highly recommend.
The rest I treat like candy...bad for me but sometimes irresistible because it's so dumb.
Relief
Two days ago a dear friend was siting in the waiting room of our lovely inexpensive gym (compared to L.A. prices) devastated. He had been fired recently well let go which is a bit different. He was choked and canceling his membership. I sat with him and hugged him and felt his pain as he described being completely rudderless in this economy. I didn't want to tell him something that would insult like "it will get better" or "You will find a job" because I don't know any of what is true for him. I just was sad he was so gutted and I understand his pain. So instead I hugged him and rubbed his back and sat there quietly, with him. Well I got home and apparently just the human gesture of being with him helped him make the rest of the day bearable.
It gave me a sense of what is currently the vibe , most of us are scared shitless we will be homeless and without the essentials and I know some of us are there already.
I know nothing is more annoying to hear then a platitude or some new ageism.
Still we are creatures who function first by vibration and in this climate of loss and uncertainty it is almost impossible to keep in the Allowing vibe or the higher vibration when everything we count on as concrete is gone, still we must.
It is the connundrum, the KOAN, the key to being open and in THE FLOW.
Impossible while we are gutted and freaked as we see that bleak now as being also our future.
My suggestion is to sit and be quiet and ask the right questions;
And of course go to www.thework.com or www.byronkatie.com
Inquiry helps to realign our thinking;
Everything is vibration everything is our thoughts.
Meanwhile until you can see a way through I am sending everyone out there freaked out and panicked a big bear hug!
HUG!!!
It gave me a sense of what is currently the vibe , most of us are scared shitless we will be homeless and without the essentials and I know some of us are there already.
I know nothing is more annoying to hear then a platitude or some new ageism.
Still we are creatures who function first by vibration and in this climate of loss and uncertainty it is almost impossible to keep in the Allowing vibe or the higher vibration when everything we count on as concrete is gone, still we must.
It is the connundrum, the KOAN, the key to being open and in THE FLOW.
Impossible while we are gutted and freaked as we see that bleak now as being also our future.
My suggestion is to sit and be quiet and ask the right questions;
And of course go to www.thework.com or www.byronkatie.com
Inquiry helps to realign our thinking;
Everything is vibration everything is our thoughts.
Meanwhile until you can see a way through I am sending everyone out there freaked out and panicked a big bear hug!
HUG!!!
Revenge
Growing up I always thought "I'll show them" it kept me fired up to accomplish what I set out to do to be in movies and television to be a star. It was childish and yet it helped to direct the energy I had toward an outer goal instead of imploding and hurting myself. I wouldn't be so successful later with anything, it would have to be relearned, all of it.
... is that a bad thing? No I think not in fact it may be a blessing but I digress.
Yesterday watching "the News Hour" there was a segment on a bribe scandal with Nigerian politicians a company called KBR and Halliburton. Yes Dick Cheney's Haliburton. Apparently a man who worked directly under DC is going to jail for six years (not a long time) for spending 135 million dollars on bribes to various politicians to install and run highly detrimental oil and gas refineries in the delta of Nigeria.
To weigh in the environmental devastations and loss of life is uncalcuable but that is not my point.
Somehow Dick has be able to sidestep this crisis or drama by simply stating he knew nothing, NOTHING about the deals the bribes. Period end of story.
Meanwhile Mark Shield made another point on the same program that Washington spent millions on investigating a blue dress during Clintons reign.Yet the Obama admin is shying away from the torture issue and now this...I mean just shy of nuking Iraq Dick Cheney gets away with murder!
I am feeling revengful.
I want a strip off this evil man...and yet I think he may get away with everything.
Wow.
... is that a bad thing? No I think not in fact it may be a blessing but I digress.
Yesterday watching "the News Hour" there was a segment on a bribe scandal with Nigerian politicians a company called KBR and Halliburton. Yes Dick Cheney's Haliburton. Apparently a man who worked directly under DC is going to jail for six years (not a long time) for spending 135 million dollars on bribes to various politicians to install and run highly detrimental oil and gas refineries in the delta of Nigeria.
To weigh in the environmental devastations and loss of life is uncalcuable but that is not my point.
Somehow Dick has be able to sidestep this crisis or drama by simply stating he knew nothing, NOTHING about the deals the bribes. Period end of story.
Meanwhile Mark Shield made another point on the same program that Washington spent millions on investigating a blue dress during Clintons reign.Yet the Obama admin is shying away from the torture issue and now this...I mean just shy of nuking Iraq Dick Cheney gets away with murder!
I am feeling revengful.
I want a strip off this evil man...and yet I think he may get away with everything.
Wow.
Happy
One of the smartest, kindest people I know once said that where we are in our lives is exactly where we want to be, we just don't always know or remember that it is so, be it overweight, alcoholic , sad, angry, happy all of it is where we want to be..."only always" the key to it is to be at peace with it and to treat as a friend until we don't or until we shift out of it. Often I am confronted with friends asking for help and yet I have to pause before offering it to weigh whether it is an authentic request and it usually isn't. We are bigger then we want to be physically because we take in more energy then we expend and so carry more heft. Stop the intake and it shifts. Easier said then done. Or we stay in dead in situations because it is all that we know and we don't have the confidence to move or get out.
Simple in concept tough to implement.
So in essence we are all pretty happy.
We don't always know it.
So smile and enjoy this it's as good as it gets.
As my friend says;" Only always".
Simple in concept tough to implement.
So in essence we are all pretty happy.
We don't always know it.
So smile and enjoy this it's as good as it gets.
As my friend says;" Only always".
Let's see
Imagine that life as we know it starts before we are born. Okay we don't have a form per se' a body but we have intelligence and we can still think and feel only we are not individuals as in me versus you we are simply idea or thought. Bear with me...we have guides who instruct us by gently suggesting not showing us or demanding anything but asking us questions through intuition nondirect communication what may be helpful in guiding our choices and say we get to choose our experiences before we take form. Like a menu of things to choose from including how we look, act and feel and where we will live where we are born, we get to choose and all of this is so our souls can continue to evolve and expand and grow allowing us to continue to experience sweetness and love and JOY.
This goes on and on into infinity...or until it is no longer fun. So with this thinking or idea we choose everything in order for us to learn and know in a visceral sense what ever we need to carry us further along our individual journey.
What if this is true then poverty , and all of the other "contrasting experiences" are perfect too.
Included as necessary in ones life to get to the "knowing" we all want and crave.
How else is it done? That answers the question of choice we choose even that only we don't remember or choose to forget.
You can't have a GOD and it be all knowing and have torture and hell without it serving a purpose that is LOVING.
It doesn't fit omnipotence.
You can't be God as in LOVE and yet unloving.
It isn't possible.
So there must be a more...broader perspective.
Otherwise God is NOT great!
This goes on and on into infinity...or until it is no longer fun. So with this thinking or idea we choose everything in order for us to learn and know in a visceral sense what ever we need to carry us further along our individual journey.
What if this is true then poverty , and all of the other "contrasting experiences" are perfect too.
Included as necessary in ones life to get to the "knowing" we all want and crave.
How else is it done? That answers the question of choice we choose even that only we don't remember or choose to forget.
You can't have a GOD and it be all knowing and have torture and hell without it serving a purpose that is LOVING.
It doesn't fit omnipotence.
You can't be God as in LOVE and yet unloving.
It isn't possible.
So there must be a more...broader perspective.
Otherwise God is NOT great!
Pressures
Right this moment I am suffering from awkward social pressure, some people want to exploit this measly page I mean measly because there is no outward design or intent to cash in on the audience and apparently there is one here worth exploiting.This is my page of ideas and concepts a place to think feel and share it. I feel privy to everyone here and kind of protective and so don't feel right in exploiting the base here. Yet I am being asked to include and promote stuff for profit. Other peoples profit. I have no problem in people selling their products especially since it is a free country and they can go wild "some where else" or maybe I will promote a charity or some awareness or a film that is decent but struggling.
Oh I don't know...I am hoping to design a place, a site to do this (share idea's and concepts) without the Facebook sellout to advertisers vibe. I suppose there will be a store for stuff or things I like that you can have too and yes there will be room for money exchanging I suppose and so...I am conflicted.
I know that some folks could care less because it is here (my page) it is convenient and if the new site is cheesy will never visit again.
Pressure.
Is it wrong of me to be protective or should I sell out the page?
I am thinking not.
I like this whatever it is. FYI if a subject is burning inside YOU write it out on your page.
I like when people suggest topic but I can't promise I will address them.
My consciousness is full of ideas I don't write about everything....trust me.
By the way apparently anyone can see this and use it against us so caution is always prudent
Oh I don't know...I am hoping to design a place, a site to do this (share idea's and concepts) without the Facebook sellout to advertisers vibe. I suppose there will be a store for stuff or things I like that you can have too and yes there will be room for money exchanging I suppose and so...I am conflicted.
I know that some folks could care less because it is here (my page) it is convenient and if the new site is cheesy will never visit again.
Pressure.
Is it wrong of me to be protective or should I sell out the page?
I am thinking not.
I like this whatever it is. FYI if a subject is burning inside YOU write it out on your page.
I like when people suggest topic but I can't promise I will address them.
My consciousness is full of ideas I don't write about everything....trust me.
By the way apparently anyone can see this and use it against us so caution is always prudent
Paul Farmer
I am reading (just) the Tracy Kidder book "Mountains beyond Mountains" about the infectious disease doctor Paul Farmer who lives and works in Haiti trying to combat TB and HIV in the direst of poverty.
I don't need to tell anyone that we here in America cannot imagine what life is like for people living in those circumstances. I know it is their souls working it out and I also think it is our souls needing to find a way to lift our brethren up out of the poverty if we can and if we see the needs of others as important to our day to day lives. It matters if we are to be balanced and if we are to win the war against the diseases that are festering, mutating in the swamps and the delta's of Africa, Haiti, and other outposts we tend to forget about as these issues continue undetected.
This is the true war I feel that is worth fighting Infectious diseases and it alarms me that our government is so focused on say Afghanistan when in fact an out of control virus can do a lot more damage in less time.
So if you get a chance have a read and donate money, time to Paul Framer and his " partners in health" for his hospital in Haiti.
We need to stop TB, HIV and other lovely pathogens including Swine flu that can wreak havoc here in the USA and arond the world.
Some people deserve wings and Paul Farmer is one of them...I will let you know what I think about the book as I finish it.
I don't need to tell anyone that we here in America cannot imagine what life is like for people living in those circumstances. I know it is their souls working it out and I also think it is our souls needing to find a way to lift our brethren up out of the poverty if we can and if we see the needs of others as important to our day to day lives. It matters if we are to be balanced and if we are to win the war against the diseases that are festering, mutating in the swamps and the delta's of Africa, Haiti, and other outposts we tend to forget about as these issues continue undetected.
This is the true war I feel that is worth fighting Infectious diseases and it alarms me that our government is so focused on say Afghanistan when in fact an out of control virus can do a lot more damage in less time.
So if you get a chance have a read and donate money, time to Paul Framer and his " partners in health" for his hospital in Haiti.
We need to stop TB, HIV and other lovely pathogens including Swine flu that can wreak havoc here in the USA and arond the world.
Some people deserve wings and Paul Farmer is one of them...I will let you know what I think about the book as I finish it.
Coop banking
If you know anyone who is rich in cash and would love to help America I think that a bank that services the people in trouble with these upside down mortgages would be welcome. Yes, in other words imagine a bank that would purchase the foreclosed house at value which is a lot lower then the mortgages owed and turn around and sell the house back to the owner at a reasonable rate (value) so the owner could afford the payments and have an interest rate that is humane. Imagine that this bank was for the people by the people yes there would be profit for the bank reasonable not excessive, it would take the property out of the hands of the crooks who have it now and whose interest isn't the consumer.
Is this insane? Why not? I think if I won the lottory that is what I would do. I would open a bank that specialized in purchasing foreclosed property with an eye to rematching the previous owners in a more adjusted rate so that they could afford their homes.
The tragedy of the bail outs is that the government should have insisted that the banks do this NOW as part of the billion dollar bail out. I know they are working on it in congress still I think it is a grand idea since these people are responsible for these crazy loans in the first place.
Unscrupulous...
Lets help each other.
Is this insane? Why not? I think if I won the lottory that is what I would do. I would open a bank that specialized in purchasing foreclosed property with an eye to rematching the previous owners in a more adjusted rate so that they could afford their homes.
The tragedy of the bail outs is that the government should have insisted that the banks do this NOW as part of the billion dollar bail out. I know they are working on it in congress still I think it is a grand idea since these people are responsible for these crazy loans in the first place.
Unscrupulous...
Lets help each other.
Elvis had wings
Growing up I was so in love with Elvis Presley (young) when I heard he gave away cadillac's well that was the most royal gesture a car and it was a Caddy! He was the King to me....in fact my father used him as a lure to get me to peacefully move from our home in Canada to Los Angeles. He said I would meet "The King". Didn't happen the closest I got to EP was my dear friend Linda T. (spent 6 years with him) thankfully she was generous with Elvis-isms.
Since I am on a save the economy with new idea's kick I thought I would share a proposal my dear friend Ralph Gipson wrote recently and sent to the White house for the automotive bailouts only this one includes the consumer.
I think it's genius and I vote we do this!
Here it is;
A. Direct Bailout Of Big 3 Is No Solution
Funds or loans direct to Big 3 will not resolve their problem. The problem that will remain is there is no demand for their vehicles, A direct bailout will not resolve their problem; they just will be back in months asking for more.
B. Alternative For Economic Stimulus And Creation Of Demand
Creation of demand and help for the middle class and poor is what is needed. The way to accomplish the demand is to provide=2 0the $25 billion to the middle class and poor is to purchase eligible vehicles. from the Big 3. There would be a 1,000,000 cars purchased with this plan. The Big 3 would be required to accept trade ins. Those currently making payments would not have payments any more, thus if the payment, for example is $200 a month; this would be equal to a salary increase of that amount and as it is spent would create economic stimulus for the country.
C. Disappearing Dealerships And Dealership Jobs
A direct bail out does not do anything for the bankrupting dealerships (over 800 in the past two years) , laid off sales and office personnel at dealerships or the towns suffering from the bankruptencies and job losses. The 1,000,000 car purchase would restore jobs, and/or prevent more layoffs, reduce or prevent dealer bankruptencies and restore some vitality to city and town economies affected by dealership job losses.
“Almost 600 of the about 20,00 0 U.S. new car dealers have shut their doors this year, and an additional 2,000 will close within 18 months, predicts Mark Johnson, president of a Seattle consulting firm that helps auto dealers buy, sell or merge operations
”In Georgia, a dozen new-car dealerships have closed so far this year. The Heard closings — in which 2,700 people lost jobs — were so swift that employees are suing the dealer for failing to follow federal laws regarding layoffs” Atlanta Journal-Constitution
D. Energy and Environment.
Since most of the trade-ins are older, the there would be greater fuel economy and less pollutants due to newer care being purchased.
E. Eligibility Factors.
In order to be eligible to receive a new car, salary below $35000, car age, etc would be required. For example, no one could receive payment to purchase a new car unless their existing car was older than a 2004 model or if they have no vehicle but need one for employment. No one with three cars would be eligible
.
F. Auto Manufacturer Guidelines.
Excessive compensation pay, golden parachutes, etc. would be regulated. Price of cars will not exceed MSRP of three months prior to enactment. Stricter mileage guidelines and pollution controls would be required on future cars.
G. Method of Payment
After a sales contract is approved and the consumer has provided an income tax return as proo f of income, the dealership would draw down (funds transfer) from a national fund created for this purpose of payment.
H. Exclusions
High mileage vehicles, vehicles costing in excess of $28,000, sports cars would not be eligible for purchase.
Since I am on a save the economy with new idea's kick I thought I would share a proposal my dear friend Ralph Gipson wrote recently and sent to the White house for the automotive bailouts only this one includes the consumer.
I think it's genius and I vote we do this!
Here it is;
A. Direct Bailout Of Big 3 Is No Solution
Funds or loans direct to Big 3 will not resolve their problem. The problem that will remain is there is no demand for their vehicles, A direct bailout will not resolve their problem; they just will be back in months asking for more.
B. Alternative For Economic Stimulus And Creation Of Demand
Creation of demand and help for the middle class and poor is what is needed. The way to accomplish the demand is to provide=2 0the $25 billion to the middle class and poor is to purchase eligible vehicles. from the Big 3. There would be a 1,000,000 cars purchased with this plan. The Big 3 would be required to accept trade ins. Those currently making payments would not have payments any more, thus if the payment, for example is $200 a month; this would be equal to a salary increase of that amount and as it is spent would create economic stimulus for the country.
C. Disappearing Dealerships And Dealership Jobs
A direct bail out does not do anything for the bankrupting dealerships (over 800 in the past two years) , laid off sales and office personnel at dealerships or the towns suffering from the bankruptencies and job losses. The 1,000,000 car purchase would restore jobs, and/or prevent more layoffs, reduce or prevent dealer bankruptencies and restore some vitality to city and town economies affected by dealership job losses.
“Almost 600 of the about 20,00 0 U.S. new car dealers have shut their doors this year, and an additional 2,000 will close within 18 months, predicts Mark Johnson, president of a Seattle consulting firm that helps auto dealers buy, sell or merge operations
”In Georgia, a dozen new-car dealerships have closed so far this year. The Heard closings — in which 2,700 people lost jobs — were so swift that employees are suing the dealer for failing to follow federal laws regarding layoffs” Atlanta Journal-Constitution
D. Energy and Environment.
Since most of the trade-ins are older, the there would be greater fuel economy and less pollutants due to newer care being purchased.
E. Eligibility Factors.
In order to be eligible to receive a new car, salary below $35000, car age, etc would be required. For example, no one could receive payment to purchase a new car unless their existing car was older than a 2004 model or if they have no vehicle but need one for employment. No one with three cars would be eligible
.
F. Auto Manufacturer Guidelines.
Excessive compensation pay, golden parachutes, etc. would be regulated. Price of cars will not exceed MSRP of three months prior to enactment. Stricter mileage guidelines and pollution controls would be required on future cars.
G. Method of Payment
After a sales contract is approved and the consumer has provided an income tax return as proo f of income, the dealership would draw down (funds transfer) from a national fund created for this purpose of payment.
H. Exclusions
High mileage vehicles, vehicles costing in excess of $28,000, sports cars would not be eligible for purchase.
How much is too much?
I am not a fan of doom and gloom predictions they never come true (thankfully) and it doesn't serve us to have any of the negative information in our consciousness. Sometimes I am curious to hear or read what others think about the future forcast of turmoils possibly heading our way. First of all we wouldn't be too happy if any of these things came true. It wouldn't be fun.
Plus life as we know it would be stopped and although it isn't perfect there are some fabulous things in our day to day existence and I for one would miss it or things like for instance NPR radio.
In fact when and if the radio goes away I will be sad...I know it will morph into (it has already)
some satellite digital thing where it reads our body temperature to adjust the station or some such nonesense.
We need to hold up the image of what we do want or at least I do. I think it creates it!
I do this everyday.
Although I am certain not every doomsayer has our demise in mind I often suspect that they do
that they just once want to be correct.
Well as long as my little will is in full force I will continue to uphold the planet in my loving light.
I still have maginificent faith.
Thank Goddessness
Plus life as we know it would be stopped and although it isn't perfect there are some fabulous things in our day to day existence and I for one would miss it or things like for instance NPR radio.
In fact when and if the radio goes away I will be sad...I know it will morph into (it has already)
some satellite digital thing where it reads our body temperature to adjust the station or some such nonesense.
We need to hold up the image of what we do want or at least I do. I think it creates it!
I do this everyday.
Although I am certain not every doomsayer has our demise in mind I often suspect that they do
that they just once want to be correct.
Well as long as my little will is in full force I will continue to uphold the planet in my loving light.
I still have maginificent faith.
Thank Goddessness
Wanda , Wanda , Wanda
Complete surprise listening and watching Ms. Sykes roast our Prez at the correspondence dinner. I had heard it wasn't good , that it was terrible , vulgar. I thought it was what it is supposed to be comedic and cutting. She is right about most of what she said. I heartily agree about Rush.
I howled at the part where she tells her children to pick a stranger before picking "dick cheney".
It is and will be a difficult next couple of weeks. I am saddened to think that so many interests want to block one pay health care. It irks me...I wonder if a blitz like what happened to London (WW2) is the
only thing that will clear the way (Pun intended) for true reshaping of health care in America.
We are grossly over charged and it's isn't rocket science we need to do something.
We need help.
Hillary has the second hardest job and I am so happy she is doing it. I just worry as always things take too long to change...and we will not do what we need to do which is get out of Afghanistan and Iraq.
Remember Afghanistan toppled Russia with our help and surprise the Russians are helping Taliban/Afghans who are pro Taliban topple us.
Why are we so stupid? Hmmm...don't answer that I already know.
Be careful what we ask for? I pray the journalist recently released (Seberia) gets home and does not remain a house prisoner. The Iranians have a sleazy history of keeping people against their will.
Mind you who are we as Americans to talk?
Free Cuba, promote domestic programs and stop the warring.
Let Israel work it out on their own and we should help Gaza and it's inhabitants.
Oh one other ;Just out now there is a new documenatry about the evangelics secret intention to destroy the Jews for Christ. They say Christ wants Israel for the Christians.
Look for it it's sinister and apparently well done.
I am not anti semetic just hate to see people wrongly hurt.(Gaza)...I am pro human.
Mother, lover friend...me.
I howled at the part where she tells her children to pick a stranger before picking "dick cheney".
It is and will be a difficult next couple of weeks. I am saddened to think that so many interests want to block one pay health care. It irks me...I wonder if a blitz like what happened to London (WW2) is the
only thing that will clear the way (Pun intended) for true reshaping of health care in America.
We are grossly over charged and it's isn't rocket science we need to do something.
We need help.
Hillary has the second hardest job and I am so happy she is doing it. I just worry as always things take too long to change...and we will not do what we need to do which is get out of Afghanistan and Iraq.
Remember Afghanistan toppled Russia with our help and surprise the Russians are helping Taliban/Afghans who are pro Taliban topple us.
Why are we so stupid? Hmmm...don't answer that I already know.
Be careful what we ask for? I pray the journalist recently released (Seberia) gets home and does not remain a house prisoner. The Iranians have a sleazy history of keeping people against their will.
Mind you who are we as Americans to talk?
Free Cuba, promote domestic programs and stop the warring.
Let Israel work it out on their own and we should help Gaza and it's inhabitants.
Oh one other ;Just out now there is a new documenatry about the evangelics secret intention to destroy the Jews for Christ. They say Christ wants Israel for the Christians.
Look for it it's sinister and apparently well done.
I am not anti semetic just hate to see people wrongly hurt.(Gaza)...I am pro human.
Mother, lover friend...me.
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