Watching an older (before Obama) comedy routine with Chris Rock I was somewhat baffled by his take on why African American women don't date white men. He kind of gets in trouble when he tackles sexuality and I think it's because he is a scrawny guy who I suspect was a late bloomer and so isn't that experienced with sex and women to be rapping about it like a seasoned "dog". So the pressure to be a full blown comic you gotta fake that shit till you make it I guess. Still I think he is VERY nerdy and VERY awkward and when he goes "there" I can feel that icky suspect feeling of this is not going to be good. I think he is wrong about us. I think sisters like to date men who treat us like queens period. Some prefer less drama or competition. Culturally a white guy is less inclined to have a stable of women. That alone keeps a sister out of the pool. More control and safety so we give up athleticism in the sack and maybe six (more inches) whoo hoo...it goes a long way not having to deal with "That Drama". In fairness to the brothers who are not "players" I know you are out there...I am not speaking about you. In fact you guys are so rare and lets face it usually taken, some of you with white women...no judgements just pointing it out.
Now I know historically I have insulted many a brethren for my dating history (predominately white guys)I can tell you it is all conditioning. If I grew up in a southern place like Atlanta with a Daddy who was dark Chocolate brown (I am a Daddy's girl) I can tell you I would be all over it! Instead me and my sister were raised far far away in the great white north, Canada! Our Pops is as pale as ever although he wishes he weren't he wishes he were something else. Every person of color growing up in our city was a relation and a crazy one at that meaning we never met anyone our age in Vancouver or Calgary that was cute or available. I have no early memory of even seeing a small kid of Color in my house or neighborhood. It was Polish, Irish and Italian and they did not get along. Now my dad had two women of color in his life my step mom Maxine whom he married and my biological wreck of a mother G whom he hardly remembered her name. Then he dumped the lot for the hot blond who is still his love today that was 45 years ago.
So I have experienced from a child's perspective what Chris Rock was talking about in his routine "the brother who dumps the sister for the blond" wound.
Only my dad wasn't a brother really, he acted like one,hung around with a group of guys who were but he wasn't and he eventually chose what I call the Hefner choice, the blond. Yesterday,I was looking at a magazine article about the collapsed real estate market in the Hampton's. In almost every picture with every "rich " guy who was either Jewish or Middle eastern looking was a blond trophy wife. The schikzah
In fairness to Blond women some whom I adore and are my best friends, not all of you become trophy wives and not all of them age ungracefully but a lot of you do.
I find that ironic and sort of weirdly satisfying. On the other hand my gorgeous mom Maxine who is 67 looks to be not a day over 40. The firmness of her glowing chocolate skin is pretty outstanding. She will out live us just with her genetic superiority.
Mr. Hefner and his 60 years of Playboy set the standard...blond as the ideal of beauty. I know it's morphing and with Halle Berry and the lot it has shifted.
Personally I would have more than one man in my life if it were acceptable, socially. I mean not wanting to disrupt social order I could have more then one guy in my life and if it meant a rainbow of men,I am in. I confess I am open to everyone.
You see a sister just wants to be treated well be given attention and good loving when she wants it. Loyalty is important but I know many women who would not leave a man because he strayed, she just remembers it and files it away and maybe spends extra cash from his account that month. No,it's not racial really...or at least not in my circle. I have blond women in my life who only date brothers. I know sisters who only date white guys.
Oh there are many reasons emotional and other...lets face it sexuality and intimacy are complicated, tricky territory. I don't understand all of it I am a beginner myself. I do know I look less at the covering and more at the heart and soul and mind of a person maybe because I am older, wiser and just less concerned about beauty then I was decades earlier.
I look for a friendship, conversation. I think it will be fascinating to watch the standard of beauty shift away from the Nordic ice queens (I know not all of them) and open up to warmer skin tones,the more age friendly genetics.
I also know men who are "white" that only go for the "exotic" because of this exact reason...they want a stunning women to be their side for a long,long time.
I know not all women who are blond age badly.
Besides wrinkles have their own charm. That's what I keep telling myself.
Chris Rock maybe on to something but it's too big a subject to tackle I think...you say tomatoe, I say tomaaato.