Thursday, August 20, 2009

Bold

Someone warned me about creeps and weirdos and I must confess it scared me until I realized we're all a bit creepy and can be weird too so I relaxed. I have a fan who I am certain lives in Port authority and he e-mails me. I have met him and spoken to him . He wears a huge parka all year and he is very smart and kind and I am weirdly invested in him although I keep a distance. It seems so unfair that he isn't in a proper home but then again Byron Katie would say "proper home" a story and it's obviously not his. So live. I appreciate that, it is just a story of what is nice and not nice or a bad death versus a good death. We were speaking about a friend who is here visiting who isn't having a good time. She is essentially stalking an ex lover. I suggested maybe instead of looking at this situation as tragic we should see it as triumph, she is here in the States doing what she set out to do annoy her ex lover. He seems to be successfully avoiding her and everyone is getting exactly what they want. We do. We all do. We get exactly what we want. I have a long long list of things I want lately. I won't divulge them since it will cause discomfort to the ones I live with but...it's a doozy. I think it is my job to fulfill the list and I am on it! Now I notice there is this thing called being "kind" and "grown up" which can really stop the selfish express. So I cannot indulge every whim. I want to but cannot. It gives me great pleasure to push against conformity though , it almost turns me on! I am certain "the story" of our lives could be richer and more fun if we let it and if we weren't so concerned about how we look. I know I am a HOT MESS (thank you Chelsea Handler) but a delightful one. I am having a pretty great summer although my list is starting to cut into my ribs a bit.

So I have to be more attentive to my bliss...or so they say. I am glad my friend keeps me posted to life in NYC from his perspective. It allows me to appreciate my own clouded point of view.

Everyday I get a bit bold-er and that is a good thing.

7 comments:

ISIS Unlimited said...

Hi Rae!
I am such a big fan of yours and love that you have a blog! Could you possibly do me a favor and check out mine? I just started a small T-shirt design company and it would be awesome to get some celebrity support!

Thanks!

Cheryl Carlyle said...

Hi Rae,
how are you today? Well I had already commented on here and forgot my password, had to sign in again. lol
I think sometimes it's good not to work on what you want and see what happens. I find that when I work on what I want, it never comes true. But when I don't, I still get stuff but unexpected and pleasant surprises. I think the Universe knows what we need.
Tell your friend to be careful of the stalker, they are dangerous. I've had experiences, not personal but my dad did with one. I have a great half brother, result of an affair but after that the mom became a stalker to my dad, watched the house, harrassing. My best girlfriend is going through it now too as her boyfriend's ex is stalking him. I guess more common than we think.
Oh, thank you for joining my Mysterious Ways group on facebook. Greatly appreciated. It started slowly then jumped up to 154 fans. That's great for a show that ended 9 years ago.
Take care, Cheryl.

timsky said...

Really enjoyed this post, Rae. Quiet, kind, reflective. I like that you're in touch with your homeless fan and that he gives you a chance to inquire into your stories.

glt said...

I wanna be your homeless fan.

uhoh! name it and claim it!
naw, I always named myself a rich guy, so I know that doesn't work.

glt said...

OFF TOPIC---Rd, I don't know if you are aware, but this blogsite is making it impossible to receive comment notices...just a stupid negligence on the part of the site master it seems, and there has been one hassle after another since day one. I'm NOT complaining...just informing you of things from here.

Charles said...

Did Handler call you a Hot Mess, Rae? :) Well. that's why I adore you-and your looks also, which I know you tire of hearing. Were you on her show? That would be a blast, seems like ya'll would click. Or was she just talking about you? Anyway, think I will check out this Mysterious Ways FB site when I get back to civilization. Best..

Jennifer said...

Been loving your posts xoxo

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