It isn't important to be heard or believed or agreed with, really. I notice that when I need outside input or support I am in deep trouble. Yesterday one or two people commented on the thread or blog topic and I felt fine about it but some felt slighted expecting something. I guess I have little expectation and I hope it isn't from the negative place but from an understanding. My evolution isn't yours and what I know is just that my "story' of things and chances are very high that I am wrong and so are YOU. Still it's revealing and fun to banter, share and listen, to watch others and enjoy the filter that each of us are. The differences are what gives us stimulus and that is life, living. For instance today it is scheduled that I speak to part of my family. Well the history between my Father, his wife and their family and my family (sis and other Mom)is deep and sorted and probably not unusual. Still it's complicated. I think fascinating material to do a show with and why not?. I am not expecting my show to happen because growing up my father was a "Gonna" this is pronounced "Gunna". A Gonna is a person who promises to do stuff but always cancels. Something happens every time. This is the way. So he says "yes I would love to do this or that" and lo and behold...he flakes. It's a fascinating trait, its all about power and yes it wasn't that great when I was a child to deal with. Being an adult it's easier to handle although I catch myself being less cranky and resentful when it happens and it does happen still. I will have my moments of regression. Something shifted lately for me. I am less charged by them his family and kind of understand the core deal...they are just doing the best they can, like all of us. So why be hurt or emotional about anything. He is getting on and I am getting on and life is tough and why be invested. Still he is "Dad" and unfortunately we have ideas about them. How they should act toward us and be, poor dads.
I am not certain what today holds and I don't care to know, I will let it unfold.
I may be pleasantly surprised and I may not!