Monday, October 26, 2009

Hunger

lately I have been working out a couple of times a day. I train people and I walk my dogs for miles and play tennis on two teams. My body appreciates the exercise and seems to absorb it without too much fuss. I think we adapt quite quickly to what seems at first like a lot of stress but surprisingly soon becomes easier. I think it is the same in life in general we are calibrated to adapt and so must continue to find new ways of stressing our entire system. It's easy to forget when we are slammed with fatigue after a trying day full of stressful (mentally) things...but our bodies love the exercise, crave the movement and funnily enough does better at the end of a hard day with a little more blood flow to our muscles. All of it counter intuitive but true. I speak the truth. I come from a family where my father is obsessed with being skinny, not just healthy and fit but social X-ray slim. I have been that slim myself it was my age (young) and my constant movement. I do not remember sleeping or eating in my teens and twenties. No lie, I was always on the go! Now as we age life gets cosier and we have more appetite and way less movement. I know I have had a decade of sleeping in and moving, not so much. Today as an older sports enthusiast who is burning a lot of calories all day I can't imagine being still and lazy. If I have been good all week (clean eating) I can have a day of eating whatever I like. I LOVE to eat. I probably could be more successful as an actor if I would re-adopt the skinny aesthetic. I think it matters in television especially. I am not sure I want too. I like being strong and if it just happens naturally that I become slimmer because I am on the go? Then cool. Otherwise I am happy right here and now. I am fit and very robust maybe fat (in comparison to most stars television)crazy. 21% body fat still is fat in Hollywood. In my day to day life, I can go ,go, go...and never fatigue. I can press major weights and I am flexible and quick. So much so that playing a few hours of tennis I find is just an appetizer to a real workout. More mileage and more kettle swings? Bring it ON!

I was driving home from a session this morning and I was thinking about a discovery I had recently. I allowed myself to go/be hungry. I let my painful bubbly tummy sit with the discomfort. I noticed that my stomach shrank so that the next meal was smaller naturally. I come from so much pain as a child, lots of un-met needs that translated into eating so that when I let myself feel hunger I kind of panic.
I noticed when I panicked about being hungry and I sat with it with out judgement my body adapted. It became smaller naturally. Then I thought about super fit thin skinny people and I realized they have mastered the hunger. They have conquered that urge. They like it. There is positive pleasure of letting the body complain and controlling the eating urge.

I am getting it...that powerful self control.

Ahhhhh it's almost sexual, it's almost creative.

That is why so many super skinny people seem so smug. They have conquered the frightened child within who feels she will never get another meal and she will die.

Okay, I added this last part. But I think there is value in not acquiescing to hunger immediately and believe you me I am a complete beginner with this but I like that I found it.

3 comments:

Ryanaldo said...

women should weigh at least 120 pounds. they look great on television so long as they don't try to dress like teenage models. teenage models are freaky in and off themselves. i haven't watched television since it went digital, but if you get a tv movie role i will try to rent the dvd within the next several years.

KEE said...

I love your sensibilities expressed here. I get it. Even us guys feel the weight of staying lean, the film industry is merciless and without gender. On set ( I'm currently in a production) the actors hardly eat, though we do that to avoid food coma after lunch!. but nevertheless, the carb and dairy bloat is always around the corner. There is solace , you are right, there is something empowering about not giving in to food cravings and being disciplined about calorie consumption. Time for bed. Early call. Thank you! Kee.

Dwacon® said...

Pass the bacon.

Followers