Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Ingratitude

Forgetting to be thankful is epidemic in my life. I can wake up and ruin a perfectly good day by being crabby and sad and crazed about nothing of importance. Oh I know we need to be appreciative to be in the "allowing mode" as Abraham says or any of the many "self help" dialogues we sometimes indulge in. Still this day we are celebrating is rugged and filled with hazards of emotional firestorms. I am appreciative of many things when I remember to be. It isn't easy and yet I do feel better when I can sit back and really feel love for everything good and bad and ugly and scary and painful. We have to find that balance and be as caring and happy about the rough patches we all have to endure. Not easy. Or the person who gets under our skin...and makes it crawl. Funny but that person is our teacher in the most holiest of ways. They say turn the other cheek when in fact we should face integrate into what makes us uncomfortable.I know it is a tall order and Christ like and I have deep emotional resistances when it comes to loving someone or thing I judge as harsh ,horrid or evil...still we are to be thankful of those people , places and things that move us into the next level of understanding and experience.

I am deeply grateful for every rejection and failure because this is when I have found my wings and felt my own strength. Not when everyone wants to be my friend or carry me or help me...or give me my dreams. No it's in the gutter face down with crap on me that I get the best blessings.

Be afraid of losing everything, be very afraid because what we find when we really plunge the depths of our experience is Love. The deepest recognition of love.

When we clutch onto our comforts; we are in for it...when we fear the unknown; we are in for it. When we judge ourselves as harshly as we judge our neighbors; and we do, we are in for it.

This is the seat I paid for, this my life. I asked for all of it, in every sense of the word.

I do forget that fact and when I forget? I want to sit back and separate myself from LOVE.

Until I remember(again) my gratitude and then that leads me home to LOVE of all of THIS.

It is perfection your life, our lives.

Only Always.

2 comments:

zora said...

Hi there, great to read your blogs- love your works....

Eddie Hudson said...

Self-revealing and yet speaks for many of us. And yet I remind myself of a life 'without.' Thanks for the post.

Followers