Monday, December 7, 2009

Intimacy

Intimacy is a word like love that is bandied around and yet I doubt we really know it's true meaning. Another thing I wonder about the "I" word or intimacy is do we really experience it or allow ourselves to get intimate say with ourselves first before say our spouses? I find I am very intimate with my longtime BF F's there is something so safe about being close and intimate with someone who doesn't see me naked regularly. Isn't that silly? The idea of getting emotionally close to my partner at times sound wonderful and other times horrible. I want myself for myself or I worry I will get lost in him. I am so new at this yet I know I crave intimacy like air...we all do. It scares us and yet it is the elixir of life for us all. Still we need classes in the how to of intimacy starting in kindergarten. listening to NPR this morning they discussed marriage and the intimacy equation and lo and behold it is an issue that is universal we have varying levels of it and we are frightened and maybe rightly so of it, intimacy. I also think people think they are being intimate when it fact they are not. They are faking it.

Oh I am not an expert here in fact I am a beginner big time and my baby steps are more often tumbles or head plants. I live with a man and I love him enough but I can honestly say at times I wonder aloud "Who is this guy?" and I am certain he feels exactly the same about me.

Maybe we have it wrong maybe we are right and intimacy is possibly over rated or impossible.

Maybe...

1 comment:

Cheryl Carlyle said...

hi Rae,
I love what you write. So true. So difficult. You know you can send intimacy to someone, I mean in your thoughts. I have a good friend who doesn't want to get close and is scared to even though I want to and we 'get naked' from time to time. But he's scared. I send it to him in thought and love him intimately that way. I mean we should learn how cause this is how we'll be living in afterlife. Good luck with this stuff; keep us posted. Love, Cheryl.

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