Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Emotional

Okay I wanna talk about body fat and indulging in all the things we know is not good for us and I want to do this with love. I have always had to face the lovely fact that I can be static (not move) and I will over eat. I can blame my childhood (I do) and I can swear it is a lot more or not simple that it is a deeper “thing” that I grapple with day in day out that fuels me to indulge and be too fat for my taste.I have body dysmorphia I think I am fitter and thinner then I actually am. I adore good food, good wine and all things naughty and on top of this pile of goodness I am E.M.O.T.I.O.N.A.L. Which to those who are not highly emotional may sound funny or foreign but to us who are emotional or as I like to call myself a "complete mush cake" it is a serious deal or disadvantage. I am always baffled by folks who cannot eat because they are upset (good idea) I happen to be the person who will eat because I am upset. Or How about happy, I will indulge because I am happy, "whoo hoo lets party". Recently I was holding on to “Martha” my roll of sweet fat I have affectionately named “Martha” and decided she has to go. Now I know I always talk about it but I realize she is no longer serving my highest or heaviest good. Yes, its time to stop with the little ways calories creep into my day. I don’t eat like I should. I need to eat 50% less than I do, period.
I do eat the right stuff, organic, local, fresh but its portions, plus wine. We can’t drink one or two glasses a day and expect to lose. It is IMPOSSIBLE. Then the fact that my fat holds my emotions like a post card when I start to shed the weight I start to relive stuff that isn’t happy or easy. I can release tension in my hips that must carbon date my childhood or early twenties. Its intense and makes me teary eyed and I suspect most women and men who are obese or just overweight have so much emotional banking going on inside that fat that losing and releasing it comes with the double whammy of PAIN. Emotional pain, I think the whole fitness craze needs to very much emphasize this fact. Losing weight and resetting our normal size/weight is a multi-tier job. It’s not just fat we lose, we lose our inbuilt protection. This is huge, no pun intended. We need to start with inner stuff at the same time as taking that first step to shed the outer layers. The step of adjusting our nasty food habits that are destructive. We all know that creamy and fat laden and processed and out of control portions are not our friend. I also say get to therapy or find a very capable friend who will let you unload and dig deeply. Go in to all of it (history) and try to excavate the stuff we all are avoiding. Like abuses and shocks and disappointment and pains and guilt. There could be guilt from some complicated thing from a date rape to maybe an abortion, huge life altering horrid issues. Also I want to say you are not alone. Yes, all of us have had all of that or those things to deal with. If you are women and you have been living for at least two decades on planet Earth then you have probably been a victim of SOMETHING. Okay that’s my joint for the day…Fat is our friend and we need to thank our Fat for insulating us and we need to allow it to go.

I am ready. Let’s do it!

3 comments:

frenchwoman said...

For some years I fight with kilos superflow and yes
And in spite of diets with repetitions(rehearsals) they are there and very there and indeed on these kilos serve me as shell to the others, to me even, they do not please me évidement but well....
The life with fact that I have of to face, how everybody as women's height, attacks which made that to protect me I set of the poid then I tries to be made friends or at least good enemies!!!


Rae, est ce que tu comprend ce que je dis? mon anglais est il compréhensif?? merci de me le dire

Rae Dawn Chong said...

Je comprend tu anglais.

My French is new...I am working on it fiercly.

glt said...

Ha ha! I'd just like to recommend again the blood type way...it solved all mine and 1,111,111 others problems the first 2 days...O for reclusive meat-eating leaders! Yay!

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