Seriously when I open up and write something heavy or I think it heavy like big topics such as divinity or what have you I feel fragile and exposed and a little boastful. Immediately I will be brought back to earth. I will get a comment saying something like "You're still hot" which I guess is a good thing to have someone think yet I have to laugh because ultimately that's what it boils down to here in our society, whether a chick is hot or not. Regardless of their intellectuality. I think it's society at its lowest denomination. I also think its sad. It doesn't surprise me that women lose their minds as we age as things start to morph into the next phase of life. Where the breeding years diminish and the need to be attractive isn't as acute. Its preferred (looking good) because it is nice to be centered. I feel when I look good I am feeling love for myself. I prefer to look my best because it means I feel my best. Still there is a strange negative pressure to look like a model or a porn star all the time. To look like the bootilicous coochy girls which is difficult and harmful both physically and emotionally. Look if its natural, if you get to eat well and surf all day and happen to look like a healthy athlete and hot cool. Natural (is key) If not naturally hot but chunky that should be cool too. Yet it isn't, how many times did we hear about Hilary Clinton's pant suits during her election run? Too many or her ankles are they really fat? It pains me, I think her mind is gorgeous, her abilities sexy hot, her diplomacy amazingly sexy, still none of this is talked about only that she has a fat ass and wears suits.
I hate it, misogeny at it's worst. I know this is the beef every feminist has about society. It's chronic need objectify women (enslave) woman at their peril.
I look at my family and my own father is guilty of this sexist defining behavior, he's a harsh judge. He thinks that if your body fat is above 10% you are obese.
If your body fat is 10% and it's a normal state meaning nothing is stressful about being there I say bravo. If you have to struggle and it is effortful and painful and you are depressed about not being thin then it's a bad thing.
On the other hand obesity isn't balance either and I wonder if the heavy are happy?
Maybe not, it's hard and challenging to change our ways.
Still I am careful not to objectify myself and others and I am careful to look woman of age in the eye and appreciate every stripe in terms of looks and appearance. Aging teaches humility and gives us the chance to truly love what is.
I am having more fun now with my head of grey hair and my sweet fat that sits where it sits. Oh sure I love my muscles too but I am less hating on my imperfections and I don't want to be hot as a goal but as a by product.
My heat is internal and if it happens to line up with yours cool but if not.
... I don't care.
I think my brains are much more beautiful then anything else I possess anyway.
Your brain too...ooooh sexy!
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2 comments:
Rae Dawn you are indeed one sexy woman! LOL! And I'm learning from you. Thank goodness for your words, they truly are inspiring. I havent been by here in quite some time. But its refreshing to come back and see what have to share and that its still just as enticing today as it was when u started "The Note" as a note on facebook! I hope I get to age (grow) as beautifully as you!
xo,
Your baby girl - Angie!
Here here sister! I agree. Now that I'm getting older (39), things don't look the same, yet I work out the same amount, well, maybe not quite the same, but then, I'm not willing to hit the gym more than 4 days a week. Not when I can be writing and designing clothes. When you're young, it's easier to keep your weight down. And not only that, you are more motivated by Hollywood standards of beauty because you haven't found yourself yet. You don't know that your worth really lies in the beauty of your creativity, or progressive mind. Of course there are moments when I'm designing something, I think, 'boy, this would have looked so much better on me when I was just a little thinner.' But then, what am I willing to do to get there? I am no longer willing to starve myself, or abuse myself for not being something else.
I'm 39. I've earned the right to drink wine when I want to, to have something sweet when I want to, and frankly, if a man is not interested, I don't really care. I would rather not be with someone who thinks that the ideal standard of beauty is something that I don't want to be anyway.
BTW, all of my life I've been told that I look like you. I have posted your picture on my facebook page for 'celebrity doppleganger week'!
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