Pain TV

Being voted off a show must be the most humiliating experience. I think we are in the most bizarre painful era of entertainment. I cannot watch shows where people compete or rage and fight and reduce themselves to the lowest denomination of person. I know it is sport to watch people meltdown but it hurts me no end. I think living is already tough and painful at times and extremely challenging. So to sit down for my two hours of entertainment and watch people suffer hurts me and I can’t do it. I would rather learn something new catch up on the political scene and try to decipher the tea party- er’s pledge to America. I miss drama and comedy straight up. I have to say. I enjoy the “The Big C” and “Weeds” and look forward to “Californication” and I watch “Dexter”. I also enjoy Nurse Jackie and people say “The big bang” is good and we watch “Modern Family”. My Bf loved the show “Lonestar” it lasted two episodes. Depressing to lose such a beauty of a show but who says they know anything? I look forward to the era when these painful competition shows are over and done and that day will come sooner than later. I can smell disinterest already it’s in the air. How many people have to off themselves after being verbally abused by a hopped up asshole? Cooking shows baffle me. I prefer the travelling ones where we learn about a region and its specialties versus fast flame cook offs. Again stress shows with pain all over them. My Bf adores these competitions and I don’t get it. We differ when it comes to pain television. Mind you I can watch my own version of pain TV “Chelsea Lately” she’s mean but funny. So I am not without a little bitch in me…okay a lot of bitch in me. I like her I think she has a great platform I wish I had one just like that…only my version and different. I would love a show where we could dish and learn and try to delve into gooey subjects those hard to understand yet fun to try to fathom subjects. I know I fancy myself as deep and can at moments dip down into some heavy stuff, I try. Watching stiff crooners dance is painful alright and I think managers should be fired and handlers punished for ever thinking that putting someone on a dancing show is a good idea. Personally I would rather have my head cut off. So don’t ever ask me about THAT show, ever!!!

The naughty Bishop Long

Bishop Long is lying and it’s a fantastic gift to the community. The African American community has a checkered past when it comes to full disclosure regarding sexuality and men and especially Atlanta’s men. What a gift this whole crisis will be to us because we need to stop being so unforgiving and so ignorant when it comes to homosexuality. It is not a disease and it isn’t something we can overcome and “heal” from. Plus it isn’t bad or wrong or unnatural it’s just “sexuality” and nothing is sinful or wrong about sexuality and its infinite expressions. As a culture and as a group African Americans have had to endure so much hardship as we watch a LARGE majority of our ranks be put behind bars. If we had more of everything would we be driven to a life of crime? I think not because society hasn’t offered a level playing field when it comes to opportunity and we as a group have endured hardships that most would buckle under or make one go “Postal” so it is understandable that we suffer from our own internal intolerance toward each other and toward a fringe group like homosexuals. While within our own community as in the larger human community they (homosexuals) exist side by side. They are queer and here and not going anywhere. Why it matters and why we still treat homosexuality like a disease is shocking and shameful, unintelligent. I am so grateful to this Bishop for being so sleazy and hypocritical because he has now become the poster boy for all that is wrong and intolerable in our very own community, he is the big fish DL’r, ah sweet Jesus. What a gift to all. To be truly Christian one is tolerant and respectful and as honest as possible and loving. Anything less is evil. I look forward to when he collapses in shame and confesses which he will because more and more young boys and men will come forward. Within any community we have these types of men liars and charlatans. Power intoxicates and spiritual leaders promise salvation by the simplest of means when in fact it’s a personal journey that each of us must make on our own and it’s not easy, nice or pretty. It is a worthy journey but the path is narrow and unforgiving and lonely. No leader or teacher or guru can give us God. We must discover what it is to be God Conscious on our own. Within…the bigger the promise of salvation the shadier the message the more suspect you and I should become. Ah but as a group we humans are lazy and just want someone else or some group/cult to do the heavy lifting. Not realizing that in doing our own heavy lifting, the “work” the deep spiritual work we gain strength and real DIVINTY. Authentic Angel hood, we become authentically empowered. Still it’s a grand lesson and I am thrilled and grateful Bishop Long is such a colorful creep…oh I know he’s not all bad but neither was Hitler, idi Amin or Stalin, the current leaders of Dar Fur, Somalia, Burma. Get my drift? Come on America stop being so afraid of your sexuality and allow yourself a chance to love for loves sake. In my opinion sexuality should be expressed case by case, person by person. Isn’t it ironic that the bigger the opponent the higher the likely hood of homosexuality? LOVE THAT!

Coffee

It’s a shame if we see health care repealed. I am certain the voting masses will wake up. I hope though the wake up will not happen after the fact. I am trying hard to see both sides of the argument. The problem though is that cutting taxes and repealing healthcare and wanting smaller government scares me as much as rolling back to the last administrations bottom line as if the Cheney Bush years were ideal. The tea party’rs are trying hard to cloak their agenda in a “save America” rhetoric which is a thinly veiled comment on Obama and his race. Save America from the left whatever that means. I think it’s an attack on intelligence. A nationwide fear of thinking and education as if “Joe the Plummer” or Sarah Palin will save them. Cutesy wootsey slogans will drive us into the dirt and we will live to see breadlines. What I suspect is underneath all of the Tea party /Sarah Palin support besides racism is a heavy handed Christian right agenda. This country has a fundamentalist problem. Whenever I see those creepy Foundation for better life commercials I get the willies and I think domestic terrorism is a live and its thumping bibles and it’s after us. Like the plague. The creation of such cults in the guise of American values translates as white values versus decency and tolerance bothers me no end. Let’s hope most of us are smarter than this and we value our freedom of choice across the board. Yet I wonder. I know many people who rallied for the last election have turned off and have no idea what is taking place and believe you , me that is the worst case scenario for those of us who value change who welcome healthcare reform who want choice and tolerance and taxes that could help us regain our footing financially. Maybe I am being naive and should wake up like the “enemies” to choice and freedom of speech and healthcare and financial reform. Maybe like them I should call out and say “wake up” fellow Dems and “intellectual” liberals we are under attack it’s on and it’s real.

Factory town

I am cranky I woke up to read a bad review of a new major network show with two gorgeous actors who are far too perfect to be real people who happen to be African American (the guy) the woman is British. The show is a JJ Abrams spy series and it had no chance in hell of ever working. Why? The usual stretch from reality implausible plot line to implausible casting, it’s irritating because network brass are far from secure in choosing anything remotely interesting for fear of getting sacked and yet they continue to rehash so much crap they deserve to be sacked. UGH….and then I watched with delight as Paris Hilton was refused entry into Japan. Why that seems correct to me is scary but it feels like she got off lightly and it heartens me to know an entire country can be harsh to lowlife’s. Okay maybe calling her a low life is low but she does use the N word and she is entitled and I still don’t know what her talent is besides being skinny, pretty and famous for being famous with no talent. She’s the new breed of media construct, a media –bot darling, the walking weird that get attention for getting attention. Finally looking through the new previews I see a sea of cancelations coming because nothing is surprising us on network television or making us happy or inspired. I am sick of bitching about it. People say write something it doesn’t matter because unless you are inside the network agent L.A. machine they don’t know how or what to do with us creative’s outside the loop and it scares them if they cannot control and suck the life out of anything fresh new and exciting….say one sells a pilot getting the best of the idea through the gauntlet is nearly impossible unless you are a strong mofo…a bastard. I say bastard because rarely women have what it takes to get over without major bloodletting creatively. Hollywood isn’t the town of dreams it’s a factory on the verge of closing. Is it the internet? Maybe but so much content on the web sucks…it’s annoying all of it.

Bad Ju Ju

Retribution is a tricky thing and without devolving into guilt it covers territory that I think deserves examination. Often in the world I hear people myself included speak about Karma and how “everyone gets what they deserve” yet we sort of ignore this when it comes to say this country. I was listening to the news and there was a discussion about disarmament and how important it was. Then I was listening to another program about the A bomb and the devastation the Japanese went through because of the two bombs we dropped. Then I was thinking about the Pilgrims and the first contact all over North America and South for that matter and the devastation there. What it boils down to is a lot of Karma or retribution due. Okay you say that’s nonsense it’s the past let it go….or don’t worry about that. Well I was then made aware of comments by Mr. Stephen Hawking who has been critical of scientists who are on a mission to have cosmic contact with aliens. Mr. Hawkings says to beware because it may not turn out the way we would like it. In fact it could be a nightmare like something more violent then say the movie District 9. We could be enslaved and or hunted, exterminated like cockroaches. Crazy you say…maybe but looking at our illustrious history as species and as loutish invaders of foreign countries (Iraq) we could be due. Now I am not saying we deserve to be enslaved and destroyed but I am saying we have historically sowed some bad oats, some hardcore bad karma that must be coming due, or is it? Can we if we are the dominant race get away with murder, thievery, and bad behaviors? How it is that America is outside the big Universal laws like “What goes around…” Isn’t that worth thinking about? At the moment it seems like we continue to get away with stuff(pollution, murder to name a few) but recently I began thinking we can’t keep doing bad stuff globally and no retribution forth coming it just doesn’t seem possible. Yet here we are? So I wonder…what’s coming and is there anything we can do to neutralize the bad behavior/s?

Gawd!

Every day I struggle with the concept of God. Nothing gets me more aroused with a mixture of contempt and hope then thinking about God. I want there to be a God head a divine omnipotence but I don’t always trust that it exists and I understand those who say it doesn’t just as I can embrace the faithful who say it does exist. In the course of miracles everything is in the hands of God and for some rebellious reason that offends me no end. Now when stuff gets hairy as in not good I will revert to prayer. Who is it I am praying to? Given a death or some spectacular tragedy I will pray to something called God. Meanwhile I do feel something a presence in my life my day to day existence. An intelligence that gently nudges me toward things that are good for me and the same nudging away from things that is suspect and not so good for me, does that prove Gods existence? Not really and listen I am not here to prove the argument, it’s impossible. I want there to be something that is omnipotent supreme, I do. I want there to be a love that is so gigantic to be immeasurable and badass indestructible. Is that asking too much?

Really?

Every time I hear about the American hikers being held in Iran I wonder what made them so insensitive and arrogant to think hiking in Iraq near Iran would be safe? Were they stupid missionaries? Isn’t that the type of people who drive head long into dangerous territories or war torn countries on missions to convert the innocent locals into their religion? I think the government of Iran is right to think these kids were spies. I mean what planet are you from to think hiking in Iraq is a good idea, planet dumb ass perhaps? I can’t help but feel frustrated by these kids and sad for their families we can’t disrespect others whose customs and political views greatly differ. I mean this not as support where human rights are violated but as a warning to other young or not so young explorers. The world is not our oyster at least some of it is not or should be off limits. I am thinking that the fine of half a million dollars to release this woman should serve as a cautionary tale. No matter how wholesome your intentions or neutral check with the customs and with the state department to see if it is hostile place to Americans. I resent any news being focused on these people I find their actions selfish and stupid. Yet it will keep happening because we as a species will forget and will be arrogant and foolish. I have nothing but sympathy for all the lost or missing souls here in America who are not getting the media attention these people are getting, especially the missing children and adults of African American descent who to this day are still being under reported in the media. It’s a shame.

Swimming

6 boys in Louisiana drowned because none of them could swim. The British press is asking why so many African Americans don't swim. Some experts site the segregated swimming pools of the 60's and earlier. I know better it's the expensive hair that most women in the community wear that makes it highly unlikely that anyone with either weaves or a process do spends anytime in water. Sweating is also out so many women forgo expercise for the preservation of their hair. So much is sacrificed for the processed hair. Is that crazy or what?
It was an awkward moment this summer when I pointed out that many woman in the African American community don't swim my friend accused me of being racist when I said this. I said go to The Ink well and look for yourself and I promise most of the people in the water getting their hair wet will be children and male. Sure a female will wade upto her neck but I promise unless she is wearing a "natural" do she will not be getting her hair wet. I am blessed with curls, hair called "good" yet I am critized and I am certain have lost jobs because I am not wearing the straight hair do. I have worn it before yet I prefer my natural curls more. Tracks make my head itch I'd get headaches plus its very expensive to sport fake hair. Not worth the look since I love to swim and sweat. When will our community wake up and let go of our sick fascination with smooth hair? I hate it. I have decided I can't stand it. I think it looks fake and it speaks volumes about non-acceptance. It speaks volumes about self rejection. It is time for the community to ease up and face the facts....something is off and people are dying needlessly because some refuse to teach themselves and their children how to swim.
It should be law that every baby swims by age 3.
My heart breaks...for the 6 children who drowned in Louisiana.
I blame the community wide obession for smooth hair, so sad.

The Big Deal

The Think and grow rich group that conferences every Tuesday evening was glorious in its originality and technological wonder. How a few likeminded people can share and learn from each other in real time over the expanse of the United States. It felt like we were together in the same room, almost. One of the topics we touched on lightly was the immediate impact that having a large amount of money would have on our lives. It would be both positive and negative. I believe we don’t understand it especially since we idolize huge sums of money or gargantuan wealth as full of happiness and wonder and nothing else yet from my research and travels I have discovered quite the opposite effect. Not that I am saying there isn’t wonder and goodness that comes from the ease of having enormous wealth. There is that too. I am speaking though of the other side of it the darker sadder side that doesn’t seem to get as much press but should because it is something to understand and could help us individually enjoy exactly where we are. You see money is energy and the more we give of ourselves to the world in every way whether it is through our careers and or hobbies the more we get and one of the things we get is compensation, financial. I look at Oprah as a prime example of it she is tireless in her sharing of all things she enjoys and all things she imagines we would enjoy and she has created a platform to do just that and lo and behold she is mega wealthy as a result of her generosity. There is a fascinating interview she gives with Byron Katie on her Sirius radio show where they do “The work” and Oprah in one of the series of interviews lets us know how everyone in her immediate and not so immediate family wants money. She says it causes her pain that everyone in her family has their hand out all of the time. Now really imagine that for a second. That everyone you know in your family has issues and they look to you as source. They look to you as their source. If you are a billionaire like Oprah then it’s understandable yet imagine if you worked hard and had to travel through the jungles of life and its lumps and bumps and then once you have achieved the great wealth then you are faced with others people whom you love with their hand out. Not only is their hand out its out with an attitude, with resentment. Tough stuff really and very isolating and how many people are out there who can enjoy the big wealth with you without having an angle on getting some of it? Then once you have achieved your mega-money-ness and God forbid you are single imagine the trust or lack thereof of every poor should who may or may not have your best interest in mind when they seek to court you or want to seriously date? It gets tricky look at Madonna or Oprah or the late Barbra Hutton or the late Doris Duke. The long list of highly complicated lonely wealthy people, David Geffen said money was lovely but it wreaked havoc on his love life. I know Steve Bing went around pretending he didn’t have money for years so he could date without being hassled by that factor, that element. He didn’t trust that people went out with him otherwise. So he pretended quite successfully until he was outed to be a near broke screen writer and it worked until the messy tabloid stuff about paternity and Elizabeth Hurley. Listening last night to some of us speak about money I got the sense that many of us really don’t know what it means the full spectrum of it, the huge responsibility and also the hazards of huge wealth and its isolating aspects. I say investigate the whole picture and measure against your current life and its vibration and its balance (or lack of) its peace. Also check in with how you live and how much you give or don’t give in every aspect. We hold the key to what we can accept into our lives we hold the key to that kingdom. If we want greatness in financial terms we need to understand all aspects of what that means and how it will impact our hearts and soul. I think the Universal intelligence that guides us and monitors freewill listens to our highest voice that place in our souls that knows better than say our cerebral cortex or our ego centricity. Our “higher self” knows we love community and peace and joy and bliss and quiet simplicity. So even if we torture ourselves and everything in our current reality with our seeming failure. Forgetting as we struggle to get what we think we want yet never realize because we truly don’t want “it” that that is why we don’t succeed in our happiness and our thinking. Seeking blindly after crazy mind boggling wealth that could disrupt our equilibrium, our peace is crazy alright. Most of us don’t really understand it and I would be so brazen to say most of us don’t even truly want it. Not if we understood EVERYTHING it brings. So investigate and know or imagine the level of abundance you are seeking measure it, because it is attainable and the best part? Chances are you are there; chances are we have accomplished nearly everything we could ask for in this life.

In-tolerance me?

Yes, yes, yes...how very hypocritical of me to be cranky one regarding a couple of trifling celebrities. Today is a day we should be proud and celebratory. It is finally a near reality that Iraq and it's expensive war is officially over. Oh I know we are faking it as far as drawing down truly. I know we can never leave the region especially with Israel and Iran fired up and the Hamas poised to strike again and again. We should not be stupid to think we can impact the region or at least in a meaningfulway and yet I feel happier that at least verbally we are saying adios to Iraq and some of our troops can come home for now. Still it's a Catch-22 we have to be there in order to be near and established enough to re-enter in a meaningful way in case "They" get weird and too strong with our allies and yet it is VERY expensive to us to maintain bases everywhere.
Like "Charlie Wilson's war" where we took on the Russians by helping the freedom fighters of Afganistan. Both occupations kicked our butts worse because it thrust our economy into the toilet.
Still I am happier today I like that Obama tries to keep his word.
It's refreshing at least on paper and it's rare in politics.