Monday, August 15, 2011

Her

Last weekend I had a conversation with a woman who had just started weight watchers and she was excited and looking forward to losing weight. I asked her if she liked her thin self. She looked at me surprised and yet she thought about it for a moment and said that was a good question and no she didn’t like her thin self. I too have asked myself “do I like my thinner self”? I was/am surprised by the response I had and maybe you will too; Not so much. She is thin and can wear anything but when I was my thinnest I felt insignificant and waifish and boy like. With my curves and heft I feel womanly and “big momma’ish “more effective. Both things are untrue in fact. I can be effective at my thinner weight. I just have to allow that when I was thinner I was all those things because I was younger. Today at a thinner weight I am effective and healthier and able to be effective and very womanly. So I have had in meditations to say yes to my thin woman and welcome her into my dreams and life. Surprise, my body is allowing her to appear. Losing weight is a must for me because I don’t need the extra heft with my new medication (Armour Thyroid) and no gluten and less wine…I am making big shifts. I feel stronger and happier lighter because my joints hurt less. I must say I am taking amazing supplements to assist the process stuff that helps with digestion and tricks the mechanisms in my body that holds onto fat. We are designed not to starve. What was a curse my body holding onto to fat is in fact a blessing in times of stress and crisis since I am not in stress or crisis I can afford to shed extra flab. Not to mention I work very hard with my fitness and it is nice to see what is an outcome of all those hours of running cycling and playing tennis; I like my shape, my muscles and stamina. So do you know her? Do you know the thinner lighter self and do you like her? Does she make you smile or frown is she full and satisfied or desperate and hungry? Does she have friends? Do you resent the compliments she gets or do you welcome them? Is the pressure to be thinner insulting? These are some very important questions and I am certain there are more that we need to address when on the journey toward our thinner self. I remember when Madonna changed her diet and her face got thinner because of the weight loss she looked like a wrestler or a roided weight lifter, hard and old. So I know I will look older and am I ready for that? Yes…I am even though I am older, hello? Still I may need to envision her some more and allow her to exist so that I can reach my goal with love and no pressure and fear. I have no choice and most of us don’t it is a matter of life and death. We do better with less fat so here it goes cheers.

7 comments:

Diane said...

I liked my thin self, but my thin self was a size 12. Everyone told me I look like Janet Jackson. Know I'm told a favor a fat Janet Jackson. An insult and complement all in one sentence....lol

glt said...

Perfection is a fleeting thing. Skinny hard is no good at all. Curves without outlandish mudslides...move and think like you were in heaven without thought That's the perfect woman.

mario said...

being a athlete weight plays a big role...dropped a few kilos amazing the improvement in performance. not only performance but overall feel faster, obviously lighter, less tired and more energy on less food. i was suprised how little food we really need just the right foods plenty fruit veges, and alota the time its 'brain hunger' ie walk past food like pizza and the mine suddenly thinks its hungry but body does'nt really require it. i use to be on medication for high blood pressure and was'nt necassary wen the diet inc more fruits n veges, no joke it made that much of a difference.

Rae Dawn Chong said...

Just to be clear...my hunger is ALWAYS SPIRITUAL. Never from a fuel as source for physical form. My hunger since I can remember was "Love me"...I now adore it as an energy source. I step outside and see it when it comes up and I purposely don't eat food. I feel the pain , the loss and the sadness. When my needy urge passes then and only then do I enjoy a meal and like Mario said we need a lot less when we eat for fuel and enjoyment slowly than when we are diffusing pain. It has taken me this long to figure out the difference and already my body is responding and thanking me.

glt said...

America's fast is much too slow...

glt said...

and they eat too fast... saliva is the first process of digestion...

Suzi from Ojai said...

Yes. For me just gaining 10 or 15 lbs is bad. I'm allergic to most medications and I can't afford to risk my health. It is so true that the older you get, the harder it is to keep down! Wish there was some kind of magic pill, but I probably couldn't take that either!

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