Monday, March 21, 2011

The Plan

Yesterday my sister Cheryl who is my connection to all things wonderful and Jewish and whose family adopted me when I was 11 years old, she informed me that one of our dearest friends is struggling with terminal cancer. It seems enormous and awful to be in that fight and I am certain it is although Cheryl explained that Ronette is graceful and not in pain although the disease is in her spine and migrating to her brain. It made me ask the question is she scared? Cheryl said at times she feels a panic and wonders if she accomplished enough in her short time here. Her daughter Dakota is doing her best to continue living and not staying bed side since she is in college. I was touched by that and not surprised because Ronette came from a family that had a tough time but her mother Gracie was selfless in her love and very generous to a fault and I see it here with Ronette. The other connection we share is our name everyone growing up would mistake our names she was called Rae Dawn and I was called Ronette. If she is scared I would not blame her because I wonder what we do feel when we are struggling with that disease and things are high-jacked, dreams are altered because the big C takes center stage. Apparently Ronette has not stopped fighting and is taking every step she can to stop the spread of the disease. It is my hope and wish that she is not in pain and that she is peaceful and that she allows herself to feel good because a life lived is important and the number of years we get is a bonus and if a life is long so be it or short so be it, I for one am not convinced it is a standard we can hold up or use to judge “longevity”.
I know we can’t prove this but I am certain after life is even more fun than here in the causal plane. I can take comfort in knowing Ronette knows this because like me she shares a fascination with all things spiritual and mystic. We are good when we allow our individual life to be appreciated (no matter what) to be graceful and generous and love filled. We are lost when we cannot see our way to gratitude or love when we hold ourselves apart from the great gift that is living and the great gift that is transitioning; it is all part and parcel of the plan.


michael said...

My sympathies go out to all in this matter. I lost a sister-in-law to cancer in 2009. She was a very spiritual woman who accepted her cancer with grace, and who inspired doctors and people in general alike with a constant smile and beautiful demeanor. She had her moments of terror, but overall she was a rock for all around. She passed peacefully in her sleep. I think many great seeds were sewn through her sickness in many many lives around her.

michael said...

I'd just like to add, that in that regard, as far as good seed being sewn, I'm sure like my sister-in-law, your friend will not have lived, nor died in vain. Peace. :)

michael said...

I DO apologize for continuously adding more here. It's just that I find it hard to know exactly what to say under these circumstances. I meant to add at the end of my previous statement, that I hope your friend does have a full recovery. Take care. Now I REALLY AM done monopolizing this space. :)

Suzi from Ojai said...

Sorry to hear this Rae Dawn. It is awful but it's good to have hope and fight the fight. a few weeks ago I lost my youngest brother the same way, he had lung cancer that spread to his spine and then to his brain. When he was told he had stage 4 terminal cancer he was very scared, but fought to the end. He had only 6 weeks after that. I believe even if we think we aren't going to be scared, that because we are human we fight to live because we are really scared to leave this earth, to the unknown. The only thing we could do is stay by his side and show him love and affection. I felt a sense of relief when he did pass, because he was finally out of pain. But so much sadness especially because he left behind a fiance and a 15 year old daughter. It does humble you and makes you realize how short life really is. It is the one's left behind that have it the hardest. The one thing that really bothered me, with my Mom, Dad and my brother is that I could see that at the very end, they really were scared. Prayers for Ronette and everyone close to her.