Yesterday my sister Cheryl who is my connection to all things wonderful and Jewish and whose family adopted me when I was 11 years old, she informed me that one of our dearest friends is struggling with terminal cancer. It seems enormous and awful to be in that fight and I am certain it is although Cheryl explained that Ronette is graceful and not in pain although the disease is in her spine and migrating to her brain. It made me ask the question is she scared? Cheryl said at times she feels a panic and wonders if she accomplished enough in her short time here. Her daughter Dakota is doing her best to continue living and not staying bed side since she is in college. I was touched by that and not surprised because Ronette came from a family that had a tough time but her mother Gracie was selfless in her love and very generous to a fault and I see it here with Ronette. The other connection we share is our name everyone growing up would mistake our names she was called Rae Dawn and I was called Ronette. If she is scared I would not blame her because I wonder what we do feel when we are struggling with that disease and things are high-jacked, dreams are altered because the big C takes center stage. Apparently Ronette has not stopped fighting and is taking every step she can to stop the spread of the disease. It is my hope and wish that she is not in pain and that she is peaceful and that she allows herself to feel good because a life lived is important and the number of years we get is a bonus and if a life is long so be it or short so be it, I for one am not convinced it is a standard we can hold up or use to judge “longevity”.
I know we can’t prove this but I am certain after life is even more fun than here in the causal plane. I can take comfort in knowing Ronette knows this because like me she shares a fascination with all things spiritual and mystic. We are good when we allow our individual life to be appreciated (no matter what) to be graceful and generous and love filled. We are lost when we cannot see our way to gratitude or love when we hold ourselves apart from the great gift that is living and the great gift that is transitioning; it is all part and parcel of the plan.