Hitched

Okay I confess I did get hitched this past week and it was simple and lovely. I said yes when I got home from my travels west as I was shocked and surprised by the spectacular ring my beloved organized and had made for me…that was the very thing that pushed me over into his arms for good. I am still in shock that he took the time to sort out such a fine bit of bling for me. What a gentleman scholar lover best buddy. I am the luckiest gal in the entire universe. It isn’t that I don’t think I am deserving of this lovely attention or that he doesn’t love me etc…it’s just that we both are fairly self focused and busy and who thinks of things like this especially when we have been together for so long. You see this is where I am so wrong about things. I never think men can think ahead that way. It’s bad of me to be so biased in fact I now realize that you guys are pretty romantic when moved and very selfless in action when motivated. So there it is…My friends and family approve of him and I think they see him better than I do. I do take note. In fact my friend Michael Silverblatt thinks my husband is a LORD compared to some. I love that because to me he is something alright not always lord like. I know I am far, far, far from perfect I do a host of things too much, I know. So maybe it is miraculous that at nearly fifty I am newly wedded. It was 20 plus years ago since my last marriage and I guess I am due. I would like to shout out to TB on his bravery and move to Europe. Keep in touch and to my esteemed and very ill ex headmaster from Ojai Valley School Mike Hermes who is terminally ill with cancer. I don’t have anything of comfort to say that you don’t already know and hear daily. I trust this process called life and death is natural and fearless if we allow it to be. I love you and I know you are safe sound and going to an even more spectacular place. I have a hunch afterlife is fabulous because I said so…no angels just easier and more relaxed and fun. Also very interesting and filled with ah ha! Moments of pure wonder...that is enough.

For Christmas...

For Christmas I asked for wholeness, for a sense of peace (inner) and a clear picture of things. That is all I asked for and I received what I asked for. It is easy for me to stray off the path of my life and become distracted by my fantasies of “the grass is greener” variety. Oh sure it is a sign of my continuing need for education “hello?” I know I am a work in progress that will never be finished. Still being distracted and pulled in more than one direction is exhausting and painful. I cried a lot this holiday season both from movies (great tear jerking films) and from life. Back on track, tears are dried and the way is crystal clear. I am ever so happy about that, now as I write this, I am struck by the natural fear that creeps into my heart right when I am comfortable with things “shit happens” and I mean cataclysmic stuff. So if in the next year or so it does (turn for the worse) I will try to maintain balance and equanimity and trust. Hard as it may be to hear I think that life is 50% bliss and 50% misery. I am sure of this. So expect great amazing things and know the other is(just as) possible. Okay not meaning to be vague but this is a public forum and I am out there already more than the average person and truthfully you don’t need details of my life…I don’t think. Not yet anyway. Soon I am taking a big step and it is life altering and I am nervous and excited and honored by it. When it happens I will let you know till then…I hope 2011 is shaping up and to be more of the good stuff, gentler, prosperous and full of love.