LOVE, APPRECIATION and APPROVAL

I dreamt I was in a square and watching as soldiers were preparing a fire and there was a murmur of voices and my name was being said. It dawned on me the fire was for me. Then I woke up. I am feeling like Salman Rushdie and the period at the start of his Fatwa. I really see no difference. The comments and threats are pretty violent and I am certain equal to the impact of my words on the gigantic fan base of O. what’s interesting is the media coverage and various comments seem skewed in neutral while most are direct at me example ‘Has RDC lost her mind?” I am certain if you told me that this would happen I would not bring this down on myself and yet I feel like it opens up a dialogue about race and what we are allowed to feel and experience within my community and I have a community. The reality is I broke a social rule I aired my dirty laundry about someone I know. Of course I did pick the biggest foe which is why I used the Salman Rushdie analogy her fans seems as rabid. The attacks seem aimed at me for having sat back and thrashed O as if I just had a happy ol time calling her names and carrying on without CONTEXT or story. I have my opinions and they obviously are not popular but it pains me to think so many believe that I don’t feel or experience the same racism and prejudice that every other person of color does. It pains me that immediately everyone assumes I hold myself back or above her on the contrary…what also hurts is the violence and threats no wonder no one ever comes forward with their stories of O. It is this huge wall of silence. Ahhh will the community ever forgive probably not and although I have spent most of my life enjoying deep appreciation this last experience has taught me that I now go forward without Love, Appreciation or Approval. I suppose my spiritual path has just begun, and that is a blessing.