Recalibrating

It is a frustrating and strange thing to listen to John Boehner go on and on about the so called spending problem in Washington as if they the Republicans were innocent when historically we all know they have NEVER EVER BEEN Fiscally responsible as leaders and it is a weird form of denial to pretend that they are always have been and will be financially responsible fiscal hawks. When in FACT they are very much responsible for our debt (2 wars unpaid for tax cuts etc…) those delightful 8 years with Bush jr. Yet now they drone on about austerity knowing full well that it will not work and could hurt America. It is all to hurt Obama and to make his administration look bad. Shame on you racists politicians, I think it’s race but of course I think it’s always about race and how can I not? Look around us…it is up. I also know that the Dems are wimpy too. It is so irritating and I say throw the bums out. It is going to hurt us in ways that we don’t see now. I am finishing the Jobs Biography by Issacson which I recommend and what I have discovered is that I have been doing my career ass backward. It is too complicated to outline here nor do I want to but I will distill it to what I think is the essence. I lost sight of what I wanted to express decades ago and mainly I have been just trying to pay the bills. A friend of mine told me something sinister recently about Hollywood. He said he heard this from an A list producer about writers and actors, it was that they pay everyone just enough to hook them into the system by paying them enough at first to by that house and car enough to get into debt, stuff we/they really cannot afford. It happened to me. What a dope. Now I after decades of running like a hamster on a wheel paycheck to paycheck, I lucked out by moving away from the hamster hustle and jumping off the consumer Ferris wheel. I can say ahhhhh and settle down into a gorgeous centered place because I don’t need stuff. The bonus is I think I have rediscovered what I was born to do and how to do it. Jobs made products that he loved and wanted to be amazing for people to make things feel sacred not just practical. I want to express and show what I think is important in life by showing its comedy and tragic moments through my filter. I feel although I am unique in my racial makeup I have a voice and perspective that is interesting to a few or maybe many because I feel deeply and I care beyond the bottom line. I also think my values are in the right place we shall see. I do think the internet has saved us from ourselves and Hollywood. There is nothing more exciting than shouldering the burden of one’s destiny. We shall see.